Top 10 Reasons Why Tom Should Shave Off His Beard

If you don't already know by now, Tom is growing a beard, supposedly to make him look older for his part as Leonato. However, we know the truth: he's really just too lazy to shave. To prevent Tom from making another fashion disaster (like his ponytail and his ducktail), join the GTTSHB society (Get Tom to Shave His Beard). All that is required is for you to tell him to shave off his beard every time you talk to him. Or if you don't talk to him often, e-mail him. :o)

Ok, now on to the reasons why he should shave it off! They're not in any special order.

Tom wants to put his rebuttals up since I put rebuttals to his reasons. His are in italics.

1. It looks horrible. Ugly. One of the scariest things I have ever seen in my life.
That is a subjective opinion. Although I don't especially like it, or plan to keep it past the final performance, I can name a few things that are uglier, i.e. Mandy.

2. To prove that he really isn't lazy.
I do not have to prove myself to anyone. If I wasn't in the play, playing a bearded role, I would not be growing this itchy thing.

3. So he won't look like a manly man and make him even more attractive to Kevin, the guy who asked him out. (One of Jessica's reasons)
First it's ugly, now it's attractive? What a contradiction! Jenny says that Kevin already has "bad" taste. But that doesn't matter, because the only person's tastes and opinions that matter to me are Angela's.

4. So he won't look like Big Dave or Mischa, two of the annoying guys in the dorm who are growing facial hair.
Both of whom shave, Dave intermittently and Mischa for the play.

5. His beard's red. And longer than his sideburns now after his haircut. Total mismatch. It looks freaky. Actually, this kind of goes back to reason #1, but oh well.
Of course my beard is red. It's only redder because I just got a bad hair cut and the bases of the hairs have not been exposed to the sun as much. The bad haircut is also the reason my beard is longer than the hair on the sides of my head (only slightly) and is in no way the fault of the beard.

6. So he can stop all the beard comments and jokes.
If I had more supportive friends, this also would not be a problem.

7. So Angela won't say he looks "interesting" anymore due to lack of having anything nice to say about it.
She is of my opinion that normally we would not like the beard, but for the play, it is suitable. So it's not that she doesn't have anything nice to say about it. On the contrary, she likes to rub the beard.

8. So he won't look like a dirty Mexican child molester. (Cat's (a girl in our dorm) thought on his beard)
I think it is more likely that I look like Tom Cruise than a dirty "Mexican" child molester. I am not the one who is on a personal level with such people, and I do not have any alliterative pet names for such people like Jenny does.
Jenny's Side Note: I read on this one website, called the Misanthropic B***h where this girl put up her opinions on various things, and she said child molesters should be called baby buttf**kers because pedophile didn't sound nasty enough. So that's what Tom's talking about.

9. So food particles and bugs won't get caught in his beard.
There are no instances of this occuring. The probability of it actually happening is about as likely as Jenny being nice to me.

10. If he doesn't, I'll be forced to go after him with shaving cream and a razor. No electric shaver. This way this reason will really be threatening because who knows what vein I'll cut. . . ;o) I'll do it in the night. . . his roomie leaves the door unlocked anyway.
I seem to recall a certain dream Kim had once... If I do wake up one morning to the lack of a beard, someone might wake up to find herself of the platinum blonde persuasion.

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