Super Star Molly

Note: The parts in italics and parentheses are my notes providing you with background info so you can better understand the story.

Molly Moo-Milk was a super star. Her debut album "Cow Life" sold millions. So, she decided to throw a party for herself. First thing she did was buy a lot of booze and crack. Soon afterward, Molly spent her day alternating getting drunk and stoned. One time she got so high she fell down her own laundry chute and lost consciousness in the warm, silky fabric. When she woke up, she was in Venezuela. She looked around. It was a sweat shop! She asked a little girl, "Quien sweat shop es esta?"

Roughly translated, she asked "Whose sweat shop is this?" The little girl replied, "Senorita Molly Moo-Milk." Molly was devastated. Then, she remembered a conversation she had with Kathy Lee. "I'll give you some money if you give me a sweat shop, Kathy." Why didn't she remember that conversation until now? Oh, that's right, she was drunk. Or was she stoned? Oh well. A whip abruptly ended Molly's thought as it landed on her back. "Get back to work!" Molly looked up. The holder of the whip was a man on horse. Molly thought to herself, "Maybe I can 'persuade' him to let me go."

Molly turned her charm up to full power and proceeded to flirt with the man on the horse. We'll call him Tonto. Roughly translated, that's Stupid. Well, Tonto wasn't won over, surprisingly enough. We all know how charming Molly can be. Look at how many affairs she's had. So, since that didn't work, Molly began to threaten Tonto. She told him she had been a secret agent cow and knew one million and one ways to kill him using only her bare hands. "I can whip you before you even get to me," he replied. There went that plan. Then Molly remembered Kathy Lee had GIVEN her the sweat shop, and it was hers. Luckily for her, she had her ID on her, and flashed it at him. "Listen, Stupid (wow! she somehow knew Tonto's name!), I'm Molly Moo-Milk and this is MY sweat shop! Just ask this little girl right here!" She yanked the little girl over, who nodded mutely, shaking in her sweat-shop-made shoes. Tonto tried to apologize, kowtowing and begging forgiveness. But Molly wasn't appeased. Her back still hurt from the whiplash. She asked herself, "What would be a suitable punishment for (censored)?"
Well Molly thought and thought for what seemed like weeks until she finally came up with a punishment for him. She ordered him to climb off of his horse and begin makin' those shoes!!! So he quietly obeyed her, calling her his "dream girl" um... "dream cow". Being the little flirt that Molly is, she climbed on the horse and started whipping Tonto (Stupid, if you don't remember). She whipped and whipped to her heart's content, whipping like there was no tomorrow. All of this whipping leaving Tonto in a very bad mood. *Whip!* That was it! Tonto wouldn't put up with this torture any more. So he rushed onto the nearest table and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Riot!!!!! Kill Molly!!!!!!!!" As you might tell from the last sentence, Molly is in deep *^@%. What's a cow to do at a time like this? Molly knows what she has to do. She needs to get the heck out of the building and the country at that, unless she likes the smell of roast beef over an open fire (yummy). Aha! Our bovine bully finds the only possible escape route, so she jumps in a shoebox and curls up inside. The box travels down the assemblyline and is sealed shut. All of the boxes are transported directly fromthe sweat shop in Venezuela to the Nike Headquartes in Washington. As the plane lands, a dark cloud seems to engulf the city. Molly..... is back in town!!!........
When she arrived in Washington fully rested, and refreshed, she decided to do a little site seeing. She first visited Lincoln Memorial. She thought that it was pretty boring, but just then, someone was passing out flyers to have a tour of the White House. Molly willingly accepted, because the White House seemed so exciting, it's where one of the most powerful man in the world lived.

The tour didn't take that long, and Molly felt like she was ripped off. She decided to ditch the group and do a little exploring of her own. She wandered off to a different room on purpose, because she wanted more for her money. She got it all right. Just there stood our President Bill Clinton. He asked, "Hi, are you an intern?" Molly shook her head. "Well that doesn't matter," Clinton smiled. Molly started at the President and told him to get a better belt since his pants where on the floor. Then she added, "Mr. President, not only do you need a belt for your pants, you need a belt for your underwear apparently." Bill leaped at her, but Molly spit in his face and ran out with the group.

Molly then did an interview with 60 minutes about what had happened, except when they asked her if he was aroused, she said no. Molly has been with so many guys that she thought that Bill Clinton's you-know-what didn't looked aroused. The next day, Kenneth Starr talked with Molly, tell her to keep quiet. She refused, and took the next plane headed for San Jose.

She checked in her spotted-cow suitcase and stored her matching carry-on in the compartment above her head. She laid back in her seat and fell asleep.

Violent turbulence woke her from a restful dream about a lush green field of delicious grasses. The kind older man next to her helped her with her seat belt as the stewardess returned her seat to it's upright position. "What's happening?" she asked groggily.

"Just a little turbulence," consoled the stewardess, collecting dinner trays.

The stewardess was a little too consoling, and her appearance a little too unkempt. Molly politely excused herself, saying she needed to powder her nose, hopped off her seat and stowed away on the lunch cart. Something was going on that the airline crew wasn't letting on to, and she was going to find out, even if she had to sit for half an hour next to fillet mignon and other cooked distant-relatives.

After 15 minutes, Molly couldn't stand sitting in the small refrigerator with all of her other relatives, so she vehemently kicked the fridge door open and quitely went down to the cargo of the plane. There she suddenly heard gunshots above and ran to the emergency escape pod used for "important" people. As she was about to depart from the hijacked plane, one of the hijackers began shooting at the escape pod's window. Luckily, Molly was able to escape and floated down to the city of San Jose. With her heart still pounding, Molly was afraid the hijackers were still going to go after her by free-falling to her capsule.

Molly landed in a run down bronx with gangsters at every corner. With her karate moves and bell weapon, she wasn't afraid of those low-lives. (Yes, Molly is a karate expert!) Molly judo chopped her way through the bronx to reach a building where she figured she could get help from her friends, Maim and Caligator. As she got closer to the building, she realized it wasn't just any building but a factory full of deaceased animals! But it was too late to run away, for behind her were a few of the factory men with whips. Molly was tied up and lead to the factory, where evil scientists immediately put their surgery gloves on. She was thrown on to a counter and securely locked in with no way to escape. The scientists took out a scapel and slit Molly's body in two, showing all of her gruesome body parts.

After the scientists slit her body open, an aid took all of the body parts out, including her udders. Molly was screaming and crying for help, but nobody could hear her. Next, she was transferred to a puffy room of cotton and beans. Molly was confused what they were doing with her in a room full of beans, but soon found out that they were stuffing her body with it. They shoved the her now artificial body parts in deeper into her body, causing excruciating pain. She yelled and hollered as if she were nearly dead, and was transferred to yet another room. More scientists began to sew her body up, and took off the shackles from her sore hooves. "Perfect beanie bopper!" exclaimed a scientist.

Molly was kicked out of the factory, where she stumbled upon an orphan home. As Molly was wandering around the home, she heard a voice say, "I want that cute cow!" Molly was smothered with kisses and hugs from a stranger, who took her home and took care of her.

"What's your name?" asked Molly.

"I'm Jenny, and I adopted you! I love you!" replied Molly's new mother.

"Thank you for taking care of me. I love you too."

After being "altered" by the scientists, Molly felt empty. Not only was she violated in that her innards were torn from her being, but she has no recollection of her past. Feeling empty in many levels, Molly wrote a quick note to Jenny saying she went out for a quick jog before setting off to rediscover her past and purpose in life. She decided to start by making sense of her recent nightmares which began shortly after her defilement. In her nightmare, Molly was strapped to a cold, metal table.

To her left was an alligator...or was it a crocodile? She wasn't an expert, so she called it reptile and left it at that. To her right was a bunny. No, it was a rabbit. No, it's a rat. Yes, definitely a rat. Anybody would have easily mistaken the rat for a bunny or rabbit, Molly told herself. She continued examining her dream. The scientist appeared before her with a chain saw. Molly focused on the name tag on the scientists's lab coat. E.R.O.N. Must be an acronym for some organization, thought Molly. Little did she know that it meant something much, much simpler.

Molly roamed around, trying to make sense of what she had dreamt. What did E.R.O.N. mean? Very puzzling. She found herself at E.V. College, which she remembered as her orphan home. It was a popular hangout for beanies, but she did not want to see any, so she veered away from the bookstore and headed to the fountain. But lo! There were tiny shadows in a conference by the fountain. Her curiosity aroused, she snuck over. They were the beanies from her dream! Mame, Zane, Caligator 1 & 2, Paddie, and Bowzer! She ran into their circle and exclaimed, "What are you doing here? And what does E.R.O.N. stand for???"

They stood stunned for a few seconds, and then Mame responded, "We've been having meetings every week for everyone who has been abducted and experimented on by E.R.O.N. You're welcome to come since E.R.O.N. has gotten to you too. And we've recently discovered that E.R.O.N. stands for Extraterrestrials Researching Our Neighbors. They think of us as lab rats or something! Although, I AM a mouse. . . But not a lab mouse!"

Molly asked, "Do you know who they are? Have you seen their faces?"

Zane replied, "Well, we haven't found out much except that they're walking around in disguise. And that they look. . . well. . . smurfy." (Well, because this story is unfinished, I'll give you a hint: Alan's nickname is Smurf because of his propensity to wear blue.)

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