|
|
Note: The parts in italics and parentheses are my notes providing you with background info so you can better understand the story.
"We've been assigned a new case, Mulder."
"When and where?"
"California and now."
"Why now?"
"Because something big is going to happen on Friday, and this little case can't wait until Saturday." (Referring to the X-Files Fight the Future movie that was going to come out on Friday.)
"What's the case about?" Mulder flipped through the manilla folder. "And where's San Jose?"
"Bay Area of California. Like I said, it's a `little case' in a small town. As you can see in the case file, there was an incident in San Jose only a few days ago. A young group of kids, teenagers still in high school, were brutally attacked. They claim that the assailant was a possessed beanie baby cow. They said that the possessed beanie cow started attacking them after they performed a satanic ritual to bring the cow to life."
"Let me guess, Scully. You think this is child abuse that the kids are trying to cover up."
"And you think a few inches long beanie baby inflicted massive injury to a group of kids? Or do you think this is alien/government conspiracy related?"
"We'll see, Scully. We'll see."
They flew to San Francisco airport, rented a car, and drove to San Jose.
As soon as they were inside, Mulder dragged Scully over to the lockers place so they could get rid of their trenchcoats for a little while. Behind the counter was a teenager wearing sunglasses with yellow lenses. He looked at them and yawned.
"There's the first person we can question, Scully! See, I knew coming here was a good idea!" Scully just shook her head and sighed.
"What's your name? What do you know about a possessed beanie cow? Have you seen any aliens?" Mulder asked the bored teen.
"Calvin. A possessed beanie cow? The only beanie cow I know is Molly Moo-Milk, and although she may have a foul mouth when I'm taking care of her, I'm not sure she's possessed. . . As for aliens, all we have is a smurf."
"A smurf, eh? What can you tell us about the smurf?" Mulder latched on to the subject.
Calvin just stared at him. "Hey, have I seen you on TV?"
"Let's go Mulder. I don't there's any more information to be gotten from him." Scully dragged Mulder out.
Outside, they spotted two lifeguards eating lunch. Mulder rushed toward them. "Who are you and what do you know about possessed beanie cows and smurfs?"
Tom and Becky stared at him strangely, then went back to eating lunch.
"You must know something!" Mulder exclaimed.
"Well. . . " Tom said.
"Well. . . it's kinda hard to say really," replied Tom as Becky rolled her eyes.
"Go on," encouraged Mulder, leaning forward in his seat.
"You see, I think it's aliens."
Mulder was eager to hear more but Becky interrupted.
"Aliens, aliens! This is nonsense. With him, everything is U.F.O's, earthworms, and sexy kneecaps. It's just his twisted sense of reality. He hasn't been abducted by aliens and he certainly isn't an earthworm with sexy kneecaps; earthworms don't even have kneecaps! (Tom likes to go around saying "I am an earthworm" in French, and he also thinks he has sexy kneecaps.) In the same manner this "possessed" cow is just a toy that they talk for. And the smurf is just a Sophomore at S.C. High School."
Although generally discouraged, Mulder brightens up at this last remark and asks, "So there ARE smurfs enrolled in the public school system."
"No, No!" insisted Becky, "the "smurf" is just a human Sophomore that wears blue all of the time."
Completely rejected, Mulder gathered up his stuff and left, not looking back. If he had, however, he might have seen the odd smile on Tom's face. A smile undetected by Becky as she turned away to stop a bunch of kids from running. His plan was working thought Tom as he slowly took another bite of his sandwich. He chuckled at his genius, slowly turning into a cackle. Becky took no notice, wondering who had just said the infamous "Apple Pie" joke that Tom refused to explain. (Ok, this was before "American Pie" so that apple pie joke isn't the same as the one nowadays!)
But Tom was not laughing at "Apple Pie". He had fooled the world, for the real Tom was no where near Raging Waters that day. When the real Tom dropped off his application, he was told that the life guarding course was full and so accepted a minimum wage job at Hollywood Video. No, this duplicate was not laughing at "Apple Pie", he didn't even understand it, instead he was laughing at how his ingenious plan was falling into place.
After Calvin came home from his Psychology class, he ate the leftovers that were left in the his refridgerator. After he ate, he got dressed to get ready for work. He gathered his wallet, his keys, and listened to his new Garbage version 2.0 CD. His yellow sunglasses had been damaged the day before because one of his old friends had accidentally stepped on it in a basketball game. He left the house at 12:49 pm, and headed to Hollywood video to rent a game for his new playstation. None of Calvin's friends knew that Calvin was actually in a secret division of the Chinese government, a division that even the government denies knowledge of.
Calvin, code named Kung Pao, drove to Hollywood Video not only to rent a game for his playstation, but to secretly investigate the works of a one Thomas R. S******. When Kung Pao went into the store, he casually walked straight to the video game shelf. When none of the employees were looking, Kung Pao slipped into the back room to hunt for clues. He found a nametag, read "Sam Neil," the star of the first Jurassic Park movie. Kung Pao searched for even more clues, and found a box marked employee name tags. He peeked around to make sure no one was looking. He open the box to find a batch of nametags displaying celebrities names. Kung Pao rubbed his chin. Then he heard footsteps coming towards him.
Kung Pao hid behind a stack of videos. He looked through the gaps, and saw Tom, balancing 5 videos cases on his arms. Tom put the videos down, and opened one of the cases. Inside the case wasn't a video. It was a dress, fit for a barbie doll. Tom folded it and set it aside, and open the second case. It was also another barbied dress, in a different style and pattern. Kung Pao rubbed his chin again. His eyes lightened up. Tom was smuggling dresses for toy dolls.
"That's it!" Kung Pao thought. No wonder he didn't want to be a lifegaurd at Raging Waters. He didn't have anything to smuggle the dresses in. Kung Pao yanked out his cell phone and called up Chinese headquarters. All the dresses were "Made in China." Kung Pao told them to send backup since Tom had been smuggling toy dresses. After the call, he walked slowly towards the exit. He slipped his other pair of sunglasses, and drove to work.
Mulder and Scully questioned Wolfenstein, but he was too smart for them. He easily evaded their questioning until Mulder offered him a large cash settlement. Wolfenstein eagerly accepted. He told them that the spy's code name was Kung Pao Chicken or something like that. He also told them the names of the kids who were mysteriously attacked: (in alphabetical order) Becky, Calvin, Eron, Jenny, and Tom.
Scully whispered to Mulder, "We questioned Becky, Calvin and Tom earlier today."
Mulder quietly replied, "They didn't have a scratch on them."
"I think this is a wild goose chase, Mulder."
"Let's ask Wolfenstein about the beanie attacker."
Mulder asked, but Wolfenstein didn't reply. After a long, awkward silence, Mulder finally coughed up some more cash and Wolfenstein told them, "The beanie baby's EVIL!!! It's possessed, I tell you!!! After they performed that satanic ritual, it started attacking them. It turned on them!!!"
Scully retorted, "We saw those so-called attacked kids today. They had no physical wounds."
Wolfenstein's eyes turned red and the sky turned black, even though it was high noon. He blurted out, "Eric Wolfenstein is no more!"
A dark wraith apparition left Wolfenstein's body. The spirit said, "I am the Lord of Darkness. You cannot stop me!" The spirit merely pointed at Wolfenstein's lifeless body and it began having seizures. Scully rushed to his aid but to no avail. Mulder drew his gun but the Lord of Darkness seemed to have dissipated into the air. Mulder cried out, "How do you explain that, Scully!"
"Explain what, Mulder? Our informant just had a seizure and died. How are we going to explain this to the authorities?"
"But Scully, what about the Lord of Darkness?"
"First of all, Mulder, for all we know Wolfenstein could have been a ventriloquist. Second of all, we will be detained and questioned about the death of this high school teen."
Mulder looked at the dead Wolfenstein and noticed a card in his pocket. The card said, "Ellie."
Scully reached over and snatched the card out of his hand. "Look on the back Mulder." She rolled her eyes.
13 Secret Wy
San Jose, CA 95135
"Ahhhh." Mulder grinned sheepishly. "The old flip-over-the-card trick. Good thinking, Scully." Scully just rolled her eyes again. Mulder pretended not to see the motion. "Let's go interrogate this Ellie!"
*************
They arrived at a spooky-looking house. It looked like it came straight out of a movie. . . or a TV show.
"Are we sure we want to go in alone? Maybe we should call for backup from the local police."
"Where's your sense of adventure, Scully? It's probably cheerful-looking inside." Mulder dragged Scully towards the door and knocked on the door. A short female opened it just a crack.
"Whaddya want?"
"Ellie?"
"Yes?"
"FBI. We want to ask you some questions." They showed Ellie their ID. "See! She looks perfectly harmless!" Mulder whispered to Scully.
"Come in."
"What do you know about a possessed beanie cow, satanic rituals, the Lord of Darkness, and Kung Pao Chicken?"
"Nothing, except Kung Pao chicken is a really yummy dish. Are we done now?"
"Not that kind of Kung Pao chicken! Kung Pao, the renegade Communist spy!" Mulder shook her by the shoulders.
Ellie just pushed up her glasses and stared at him. "I have no clue who he is."
Scully sighed. They were getting nowhere. "How do you know Eric Wolfenstein?"
"I don't know who Eric Wolfenstein is. Why do you keep asking me these dumb questions?"
"We have proof you know Eric Wolfenstein! He gave us a business card with your name and address on it." Mulder shook her again.
Elllie raised an eyebrow. "Let me see that proof."
Mulder reached into his pocket and brought out the card. As he stared at it, though, the words on the card shimmered and disappeared. "W. . what? What happened?" Mulder looked blankly at the plain white card in front of him, his mouth open in shock.
"Mulder! Did you lose our evidence?!!" Scully now shook him by the shoulders.
"Didn't you see what happened? The words just disappeared!"
"Mulder, I wish you'd stop making excuses like this! Just admit you lost it!"
"B. . .but. . ."
"Sorry to have bothered you, Ellie. We'll be going now."
"It was. . . let's not do this again anytime soon." Ellie led them to the door.
Just before they left, they spotted what looked like a beanie cow lurking in the shadows.
"Scully, did you see that?!!"
"I can't believe it, but yes I did."
"Should we go back and check it out?"
"We could. Or we could go and question Jenny and Eron."
Scully rolls her eyes once again. "Okay Mulder, I trust you know what you're getting us into?"
"Of course I do Scully, now let's get moving."
After departing from the house of the mysterious Ellie, Mulder and Scully scoured their way through the streets of San Jose. The smoldering heat of the afternoon had finally began to cool, and nightfall was approaching fast. When it seemed like the 10th 7-11 that Mulder had seen in the last 5 minutes, he just had to say something.
"Scully, pull over there." Mulder said, pointing to the NEXT 7-11 they spotted.
"Now Mulder," snapped Scully, "What could we possibly expect to find at a local convenience store?"
"It's been a long day and I'm thirsty, besides, I have a feeling we need to be here."
Sitting in the window of the store was a big sign written in bold print which said, BEANIE BABIES ON SALE HERE! This was just the lead that they had been looking for. As they entered the store, Mulder ran over to the slurpee machine to satisfy his thirst while Scully, being serious as she always was, began to question the cashier.
"Excuse me sir, but I'd like to ask you a few questions about the Beanie Babies that you sell."
"Yes, that's right, they're $10.00 a piece."
"What? That's a lot for just a stuffed toy."
"Well, the thing is, these aren't just your normal beanie babies. These are the rumored magic beanie babies."
"That's nice, but who would buy these beanies for so much???"
"Why there are these neighborhood kids who always stop here to buy beanies. If I remember correctly, they are some local teenagers from S***** C**** High School."
"Would you happen to know any of them by name?"
"No I wouldn't, but I do know that they belong to this group called RENAISSANCE. It's supposed to be some group that recognizes students at S***** C**** for good grades, but I know their secret plans. In fact..... two of them were in here just a few minutes before you arrived (Jenny and Eron). They came to buy, can you guess, beanie babies. I heard them saying something about having a RENAISSANCE meeting at S***** C**** tonight at 8:00."
Scully glanced at her watch and ran for the car, leaving Mulder behind. As she arrived there, she turned, just in time, to see Mulder purchase one of those magic beanie babies.
"What did you do that for?" questioned Scully.
"We need it for evidence and besides I think they're kinda neat looking."
"It must be a guy thing." mocked Scully under her breath as they got into their car.
Just as they were leaving, Mulder thought he saw one of the beanies in the window waving good-bye......
It was now dark outside, and the town was alive. As they neared their destination of S***** C**** High School, they began to feel like they were close to something, something bigger than they could possibly imagine. Although they weren't really that close yet, but they sure felt special.
"There it is Scully, S***** C**** High School. We'll stop here," Mulder said just as he shut off the headlights so they could not be seen.
To their luck, they spotted two teenagers walking into the school.
"Let's go!" yelled Mulder.
As they jumped out of the car, Mulder screamed, "Federal Agents! Stop right there!"
Turning around, the two teenagers (Eron and Jenny) began to run. In their panic they dropped one of the beanies they were carrying. As they gave chase, Mulder and Scully picked it up as more evidence (but probably just because Mulder likes them so much).
The chase continued, down the cracked concrete, through the dead flowers, across the "grass" (a.k.a. dirt), and into this building with a big N painted on the front. As the agents entered the building, they found themselves right in the middle of a large office. They drew their guns and slowly stepped in. As they stepped closer to the desk in the middle of the room, they could feel a slow and steady draft of wind brushing against their faces.
"Down," said Mulder.
"I'll go first," volunteered Scully.
As they approached the desk, the two teenagers (Eron and Jenny) entered the room from the opposite side.
"We've been expecting you," said Eron.
"We knew you two would find us sooner or later." added Jenny.
"Too bad you had to find out like this because now we can't let you leave."
Just as Eron finished, the doors shut and the agents found themselves surrounded by all of the members of RENAISSANCE (Alan, Alissa, Becky, Calvin, Eron, Jenny, and Tom. All of which don't know about each others secret lives). To the agents horror, they once again spotted the beanie which they had seen earlier that day. The difference was, this time it was carrying a wicked looking knife. This was their first good look at the beanie which looked like a cow (without udders). The agents slowly raised their guns and aimed right at the approaching beanie.
"If anyone moves we'll shoot!!!" screamed Mulder.
But the beanie didn't stop, and neither did the members of RENAISSANCE. Slowly they closed in on the agents, their time running low. They needed to make a decision fast. Mulder placed his finger on the trigger and screamed again, "Anyone moves and the beanie is history!" Having no effect on the approaching mob, Mulder pulled on the trigger. *BANG*.................
...surrounded by all of the members of RENAISSANCE (Alan, Alissa, Becky, Calvin, Eron, Jenny, and Tom. All of which don't know about each others secret lives). To the agents horror, they once again spotted the beanie which they had seen earlier that day. The difference was, this time it was carrying a wicked looking knife. This was their first good look at the beanie which looked like a cow (without udders). The agents slowly raised their guns and aimed right at the approaching beanie.
"If anyone moves we'll shoot!!!" screamed Scully, aiming her gun at the advancing beanie baby.
"Wait!" shouted Mulder,now looking around cautiously and holding his gun tight with both hands. The room fell silent as the beanie cow and RENAISSANCE gang stopped where they stood, shaken by this unexpected outburst. Scully eyed her partner with the sympathy one has for an insane lunatic that can't help but act on his/her crazy impulses. Finally, Mulder turns to the ever sceptical Scully and asked, "Did you see that?"
"What?" replied the hesitant Scully.
"The walls seemed to shimmer for a second and suddenly those teens and that beanie appeared a good two feet back, closer to the wall."
Scully looked back at the teens to find their comfort zone less impeded on.
"Mulder, for once in your paranoid little life, you're right!"
"And I've seen that same shimmer before. On that business card you thought I lost."
"But Mulder those were words! That can be explained away with invisible ink, but not this, Mulder! This is real life! There is no invisible ink in the space/time continuum! What you're suggesting is ludicrous! As if our fate and our free choice is being decided and written for us, like some story!
"But it just might explain the wonders of the world! Who drove the Egyptians to build those insane pyramids? And what of Gravity? Of all of the apples in the world, why did that one fall when it did, hitting Newton over the head? The discovery of fire? I've hit plenty of rocks together in my time, but they never sparked. What made that one caveman pick up what he didn't know was flint and what he didn't know was iron? Supercilious? I think not. For what other reason did Bill Clinton get re-elected?"
"You have a point there, but I refuse to believe that our future is slowly being dictated, paragraph by paragraph, on a great cosmic network of proverbial computers."
"I guess you're right, Scully. It is ludicrous to think of it like that. We might as well say that a group of teenagers, like RENAISSANCE, are deciding our course of action via E-mail."
They laughed heartily at this ridiculous idea for a good two minutes. As the laughter died however, Scully turned to find an empty room.
"You and your stupid conspiracies!" she yelled, "They escaped because of you and your 'theories'."
The X-files team walk slowly out of the N building, with their heads low and Scully muttering to herself about only wanting to be an army nurse but her mom kept ragging on her. "Work for the government, Dear, there's better pay." "Nurses don't get respect, Dear, Secret Government agents do." "You won't find anyone suitable for you in the battle-fields, Dear...."
Alissa enters into the Hollywood Video store and looks for Tom. She finds Tom folding dresses in the back.
"Tom, how's it going?"
"Okay I guess, but toy dresses aren't as profitable as before."
"That's too bad. Listen, how come I'm in the RENAISSANCE organization? I never applied nor do I even attend S***** C**** High School. Who is the leader of this organization?"
"Well at first it was known to be a mysterious character known as Parthiv, but he strangely vanished last month."
"So who's the leader now?"
"There's no ONE leader. Everyone has an equal say in what goes on within the organization. Everyone has their own qualities and specialties that make RENAISSANCE the best organization in S***** C**** High School."
Alissa screamed. "THat's the point! I'm not even going to S***** C****!"
Tom smiled evilly. "It's all part of a plan. It's bigger than you think. This isn't just about a bunch of beanies running around. It's a global conspiracy. Be proud. You're part of the organization that is behind the extinction of life as we know it. Not even bacteria will survive."
Alissa wrinkle her forehead. "Umm, does that mean that we'll be extinct too?" Just then, Tom's supervisor came and Alissa stared at Tom. "Well????!"
Tom stared back. "Well what?"
Alissa sighed. "Nevermind"
Tom watched Alissa leave the video store, and continued to smuggle the toy dresses.
**********
>>>5:00 PM, Thursday, July 16, 1998
>>>Nickel City(right next to Hollywood Video) (A very cool arcade place where you can play video games for 5-15 cents per game!)
"Mulder, will you please stop playing video games and investigate this case? What does video games have to do with anything?"
"Scully, it is to believe that video games will soon consume the entire world. Anyways, I have yet to get 50000 points on Donkey Kong."
Calvin walked swiftly passed the two agents and started playing "Marvel vs. Capcom™" After losing with his first nickel, Calvin started violently kicking the machine.
"Do we know you?" Mulder questioned.
Calvin was no longer wearing his yellow glasses. He cleverly was wearing a special pair of glasses, one lense blue and one lense yellow. He was still kicking the machine.
"One game, right here!" Mulder inserted his two quarters.
Calvin was skeptical at first, but then he inserted his two quarters.
After 10 seconds of moves, the winner was clear.
"Calvin, you really do suck, a baby could beat you in a game of pong."
"Oh yeah," Calvin retorted, "Well get a load of this!"
Calvin reached into his shoes and pulled out a piece of paper. "This is your only hope for the future. I would wish you luck, but..." Calvin ran out of Nickel City and started his car. He backed up, and Scully ran after. Calvin rolled down his windows.
"What's going on?" Scully asked.
"The beginning of the end."
"Great. Another psycho" Mulder said with a shrug.
"Let's try investigating the local community college. I've heard it's a popular hang out for the all the nut cases we've been dealing with."
Scully and Mulder walked toward their car without a backward glance at the Nickel City building. They didn't notice Becky, aka secret government agent 005 in charge of investigating Tom's plan to take over the planet, (and he thought he was fooling her)lurking in the shadows. She dashed to their car and climbed quickly into the trunk, just in time to hear their conversation.
"Well Scully, I think we are fooling those stupid teenagers. They still haven't figured out that we know exactly what they are up to."
"Huuh, what is that. What are you talking about."
" You know what I mean. That they are all secretly......."
They stopped in mid-sentence as Mulder stare straight ahead, as if he's in shock.
"Whaa..." Scully looked to see what Mulder was staring at. A billboard showing a familiar looking cow in overalls holding a minature doll that looked like...
Mulder looked at Scully and interrupted her, "Scully, it's us!" They both stood there for a few moments, staring at the huge picture of Molly Moo-Milk.
The sign baffle them both, and they took note of it. Thinking about the billboard and what Calvin had said at Nickel City, they climbed back into the rental Ford Tarus, heading to the community college, knowing that there was nothing else for them to do here. Becky could hear Mulder and Scully discussing the case hey then climbed back into the rental Ford Tarus, heading to the community college, before school ended.
"Let's investigate this campus" Scully said as she got out of the car.
Mulder looked around, got out and followed Scully as she walked towards the Student Union building. "Something's going on, Scully. I know it. I'm not sure what it is now, but I still think that they are up to something. I thought that those teenagers were all secretly trying to..." The voice trailed off and Becky could hear no more, as the agents were too far away.
Becky got out of the trunk, and just then Alissa, whose intentions remain unknown, walked out of class, got her hot chocolate, and, spotting Becky, decided to go and see what she was doing there. Alissa understood that Becky also knew that something was going on with Tom, for he was turning a bit red all the time, and something was suspicious. Of course, understanding the Apple Pie thing was not a difficulty, it was all of the other Toms that confused here, what exactly did he do when he was not smuggling barbie doll dresses?
"Hi Becky! What are you doing here? Shouldn't Mulder and Scully be talking to Eric at Evergreen? His head is an X-File, and I am afraid that there is nothing that interesting here."
"Well, I thought that I might see what Mulder and Scully thought about "a 'little case' in a little town", I think that we have them fooled though. Mulder does not know what he got into by purchasing that bennie baby... Do you think that anyone else knows what we are doing?"
"Hmm..." With that Alissa and Becky talked about their "plans".
For some reason though when they went to go see Tom, Hollywood Video was covered with Tumbleweeds...
"Oh my God!" cried Becky.
With that, the two fell to their knees and assumed the praying position. The tumbleweeds were a signal that the Lord of Darkness was arriving. Together, the chanted, "All hail the Lord of Darkness."
The sky darkened and the Lord of Darkness materialized in front of them. "There will be a meeting tonight. Notify everyone." Then, as quickly as he appeared, he left this tangible world. The sun and its rays of light and life returned.
"So, what are we doing here at Hollywood Video anyway, Alissa."
"Tom works here."
"No he doesn't, he works at Raging Waters with me!"
"What are you talking about?!"
On that note, the two started wrestling with then and there in front of the store. After a few minutes of tussling, they agreed, "This is silly. Friends?"
Then, the two hugged. Alissa and Becky then went inside Hollywood Video to tell Tom the news of the meeting. A stupid lady at the counter, the same stupid b!tch who told Eric there weren't anymore employment applications (Gee, I wonder who wrote this part. . .), told them that Tom wasn't working today. So, the two decided to go to Raging Waters. There, they hooked up with Calvin and the other Tom. When faced with both Becky and Alissa, Tom turned red and attempted to slip away. "I have to go to the bathroom."
"Oh no you don't," Becky cried. When Tom tried to run, Alissa tackled him and they both fell into the kiddie pool.
Tom cried out, "Oh no! Not water! I'm melting, melting..."
The once-humanoid Tom reverted to a purple gelatinous state. Becky and Alissa stared in disbelief. Calvin shed some light into the mystery. "Oh, that. This Tom's just an aquaphobic jello clone. Water breaks down the nonpolar bonds of its molecules."
Becky and Alissa now stared at Calvin, wondering why he suddenly seem to know everything.
**********
S***** C**** HIGH SCHOOL
SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA
"What are we doing back here, Mulder?"
Mulder was feverishly installing a hidden video camera in Crannell's (Our leadership teacher.) office when he replied, "This is the only way to get the evidence we need. I know you're skeptical right now, Scully. Wait, let me rephrase: I know you're always skeptical, Scully, but trust me on this."
"All right. But if you're wrong, you're buying."
They both laughed as they reminisced about the time Mulder lost an earlier bet and had to buy sodas when he discovered the bomb in the vending machine. (RE: Fight the Future.)
After they hooked up the video camera, they left.
**********
Hours later, at night, the meeting began. Alan, Alissa, Becky, Calvin, Eron, Jenny, and Tom discussed betraying the Lord of Darkness. When tumbleweeds, and then the Lord of Darkness materialized, they gave their respects. The Lord spoke, "The FBI agents are getting too close. We need to dispose of them."
Alan cried out, "I can't take this anymore! I won't be any part of this!"
With that, the Lord of Darkness turned Alan into a little Smurf. "All who oppose me shall suffer!"
"Don't worry about the FBI," said Jenny. "The beanie they bought will be their destruction."
"I was the one who sold it to them," laughed Tom as he took out his Kwikie Mart owner disguise.
As the group gave the signal to enact their mutiny, the Lord laughed, "Did you really think that I wouldn't find out about your plans, traitors?!!"
Suddenly, Ellie jumped into the room with a machine gun and started firing everywhere. Alissa was stunned when she literally came face to face with herself. The Lord's evil laughed echoed. "Ellie here knew you would betray me. I created this Alissa duplicate to take her place. Now, I have no more need of her."
Alissa vanished, like the words on the business card.
"Take this," Eron screamed as he held up a cross to the Lord of Darkness.
"What, is that supposed to harm me?"
"It's not working!"
"Of course not," Calvin cried, "he's an atheist!"
"I will leave you all with the knowledge that your plan to betray me has failed. However, I will not punish those of you who wish to come back to my side. Those who continue to oppose me..."
The Lord pointed to the cabinet. The partially ajar doors now flew completely open. "Those who oppose me, the FBI will take care of you, hahaha!"
The kids stared at the hidden camera which had recorded everything. Who will side with the Lord?
**********
HOLIDAY INN
SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA
After watching everything that had happened through a live video-feed to their hotel room, Mulder immediately burnt the beanie he had bought.
"You were right, Mulder. I guess I owe you a Coke."
"First, let's kick some teenage ass!"
The two agents got into the car and raced toward Silver Creek.
"We'll never side with you, you you you, Lord of Darkness." Screamed everyone.
"Have it your way. . . " responded the evil one.
As the Lord of Darkness spoke these words, a figure appeared from out of the shadows.
"We knew you would come!. It's about time. What good can a beanie cow do anywise?" questioned the group.
"Call me Molly," explained the beanie cow in a low, somewhat boyish tone. (Okay, Calvin used to do Molly's voice in high school.) "I can't let you continue like this Lord, these are my toys and I can't let you take them away from me!"
"Now Molly, don't interfere with my plans now. I'm so close! The world is within my grasp! Don't make me angry!"
With the Lord of Darkness' last word, Molly leaped into the air at him. Surprised, the Lord of Darkness raised one hand towards the now flying beanie cow and knocked her to the ground. The entity then began chanting a spell as swirls of tumbleweeds and light and fire surrounded it. The swarm began moving towards the hopeless beanie cow. . . but as everyone tried to rescue her, they were all pushed away by a strange force. When it reached her, it began to fill every part of her body. When Molly arose, her little glass eyes were now red like fire. As she turned towards the group of teenagers, they all realized how much trouble they were all in.
"Th. . . tho . . . those eyes!!!" screamed Tom
"Not again!" yelled Calvin.
"Don't do it Molly!" exclaimed Jenny.
"Let's get out of here!" offered Eron.
As the beanie approached them, each had flashbacks of the horrific beatings that had taken place a while before. Each remembering that fire in the beanie's eyes as she unmercifully beat them. As they all suffered through their flashbacks, they clenched their fists and prepared for what would be their worst nightmares.
Hopefully for them, the agents would get there soon. Only time would tell. . . . . (or the next writer) . . .
Tom turned tail and tried to get out of there. "You!" Molly gave him the evil eye and he froze. "I remember those dastardly things you did to me, especially in bio." (Tom hid Molly, stuffed her in his pocket, pushed her nose so it reversed and went into her head, tape her body so it would be weirdly contorted. etc. He was truly evil. Ggggrrrr.) Tom quivered in fear. Molly went over to the desk and out came some tape.
"No!!! Not the t. . . ta. . . tape!!! Aaaahhh!!! Save me!!!" Tom cried. Molly advanced on him and turned him into a tape mummy, then hung him upside down from a hook on the ceiling. "Mmmph!!! Ywww gwhis!!!"
The rest of the gang had tried to get away while Molly was distracted with Tom, but the door was blocked by tumbleweeds. "Aaaaahhh!!!" they screamed in unison.
"You! My ex-husband! I know how you rubbed your butt against Rowena's head! You shall pay!!!" Molly's eyes glowed red.
"Eek!" was all the smurf could say.
"You kept talking about eating me eh? Turning me into beef stew? A steak? We'll see who'll eat who! Ha ha ha!" She gave an evil cackle.
*gulp* was all the smurf could manage. Molly put the smurf on a spit, set up a nice little fire, and he slowly began to rotate over it.
"Barbecued smurf. Yum." She cackled again.
Meanwhile, Mulder and Scully had arrived outside of the office. "What do you think is going on in there, Mulder?" Scully asked. She glanced at Mulder, who had his ear pressed against the door.
"Well, I hear something about. . . bio. . . tape. . . a butt. . . smurfiness. . . ."
"Are you sure you're hearing correctly?" Scully asked, skeptically.
Mulder just sighed. 'The things I have to put up with. Does she need to question me so much?' he thought. "On 3, we kick the door, all right?" They began counting.
"Make me have unspeakable acts with foreign objects, eh?" (Cal used to put Molly in compromising positions with inanimate objects. Just about as evil as Tom! Gggggrrrr.) Molly glowered at Kung Pao, a.k.a. Calvin. She telekinetically lifted him and began moving him toward a. . . well, you don't want to know. Use your imagination.
"Noooo!!!! For the love of the Simpsons, nooooo!!!!" Cal screamed. (Cal's a huge Simpsons fan. Seriously, ask him anything about the Simpsons, and he'll know the answer.)
Outside, Mulder and Scully kicked the door. Nothing happened. "Darn." Mulder said. "What do we do now?"
Back in the room, Jenny was still fighting with the Lord of Darkness, kicking and screaming like a banshee. "Take that! And that! And that!" She pounded him, using some moves she had picked up from Molly.
Eron leapt into the fray. They dangled off of the Lord of Darkness. When he tried to shake them off, moving around blindly since Eron had just clawed at his eyes, he crashed them all into the wall by the door, creating a huge hole. They didn't even notice Mulder and Scully as they passed them.
Mulder and Scully peered into the hole. What they saw almost made them turn tail and run, but being the good FBI agents they are, they grabbed their guns and bravely moved in.
"Save me!" Cal yelled. "Before she ****** **** ** **(censored to keep your minds pure)!!!!"
Mulder and Scully gazed at the scene, dumbfounded. A smuggler taped up and dangling from the ceiling, a smurf being roasted over a spitfire, a Chinese agent being ********, tumbleweeds everywhere, and a psycho beanie cow in the center of it all.
Seeing their chance to escape, Alissa and Becky ran for the gaping hole in the wall. They tried to squeeze through at the same time, and neither would back down.
"You tried to betray the Lord of Darkness!" Alissa yelled, pushing Becky.
"You. . . you're evil!" Becky retorted, giving Alissa a shove.
Scully turned and noticed what was going on. "Hold it right there! You're not going anywhere!"
Meanwhile, Mulder was trying to figure out how he could save Kung Pao.
You wouldn't believe what happened next. . . .
Becky glanced back after she had gained some leverage. Once she twisted free of Scully's grip on her wrist, she stood a good chance of winning egress from the room. As she elbowed Alissa's clone in the face and placed her right foot outside she saw the scene--- Alan, unconscious from the pain and obvious third-degree burns over the raging fire, Tom swaying slightly and mumbling something through the tape, Calvin having who-knows-what done to him, And Jenny & Eron fighting a hopeless battle for the freedom of their souls and the souls of everyone in the room. And what was Becky doing? She was running. Granted Tom might have done the same if he wasn't the first to be wrapped up in tape. Nevertheless, she was yellow-bellied and deeply regeted wearing that shirt again, although she did like the cartoon sun on the front. Something clicked and she knew she couldn't leave. Alissa's clone began shoving harder, trying to dislodge her from the only exit.
"Move it, Sister!" cried Ellie trying to knock her out of the way.
"Bitch!"
WIth that Becky forcefully spit in her face. Ellie fumed for a second, but without her glasses, her face had no sheild and the water in Becky's saliva began to affect the hydro-phobic jello that made up Alissa's clone.
Stepping across the sticky red puddle before her, Becky reached back and pulled out her standard double-oh handgun issued by the British secret service.
"Shit! She has a gun!" yelled Mulder.
Molly was too distracted by her sadistic torturing of Calvin to notice this comment, but the Lord of Darkness did. He looked over and stared into her unerring eyes and approached as tumbleweeds parted before him in mini gusts of wind. Steadily, she aimed her gun at the Lord's demonic face and prepared to fire as she kept the distance between them. She knew it was an empty threat; the bullets would pass through him as it would through smoke, but she kept her hand steady and her index finger over the trigger. The distraction wouldn't last long, but Jenny and Eron had already untied Alan from the spit and were dragging him behind the desk for safety.
Becky continued to point the gun at the Lord of Darkness. Behind Becky, Scully was preparing to make move. Then there was a struggle. Becky and Scully both went at each other, while the Lord of Darkness laughed. "Cat Fight, Cat Fight!" screamed Molly. Calvin had already died by then, after being ******. No had noticed, nor did anyone helped, since a crowd had gathered around Becky and Scully. Mulder jumped in and yelled. "Hold on! Can't we be civilized here? We don't have to fight like barbarians....I'll be the referee!" Everyone cheered.
"Oh stop it!"
Who said that? everyone looked around the room. They found nothing. The Lord of Darkness scratched his chin. Molly scratched her tiny little head. Mulder and Scully pulled out their guns.
"You all heard me."
Strangely enough, no one found who was saying that, but they finally saw that Calvin was dead.
"Calvin is dead, you know," sneered Jenny.
Everyone shrugged. Calvin was dead. Big deal. He was a loser in life. No one liked him. The only reason why anyone talked to him was to tell him to shut up. It was either that, or they needed his car in some way. Big deal. It wasn't like his car died.
The voice stopped. THe fight continued between Becky and Scully, but Mulder wasn't there to be referee. He followed the trail of you-don't-wanna-know from Calvin's body to the outside. "Holy Shit!" Mulder yelled.
The fight stopped. everyone ran outside. Then they saw it.
Calvin floats in nothingness. It's like he's in a room with no walls, no floor, and no ceiling. He feels anxiety. The last thing he remembers is being ****ed by Molly, then freaking everyone out by saying "Oh stop it!" and "You heard me" before he became unconscious.
After that, he remembers darkness, and now he is here. "Hey Cal."
Calvin looks around and sees the late Eric Wolfenstein. Shocked, Calvin stuttered, "You're d-dead."
"Yep. I'm far worse than you. You think your life was bad and that no one cared that you died. The same can be said for me. No one cared that Eric Wolfenstein died, no sirree Bob. And don't even get me started about the Renaissance meeting. I wasn't even invited."
Calvin thinks about Wolfenstein's words. Then he hears a voice so soft he barely made it out.
**********
------------------------------------------------------------------
CORPOREAL WORLD
SILVER CREEK HIGH SCHOOL
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Calvin," Becky screamed. She ran to his lifeless body parts and cried, "I haven't lost anyone on my watch, and I'm not about to start now, damnit!" She pulled out her CPR mask and ordered, "Jen, get Tom out of that tape, and bring the duct tape while you're at it. We'll need it to put Cal back together."
"I'm a doctor," Scully interjected. "I'll give the orders around here. Do what Becky says."
The Lord of Darkness took this opportunity to leave, but returned Alissa to the corporeal world. Tom, freed by Jenny and Eron, spit in Alissa's face. Alissa slapped him. Tom stumbled back, half mumbling, half stuttering, "This isn't a clone. This is the real Alissa."
Mulder brought his laptop from the car and plugged it onto Crannell's office. He looked up the profiles of Eron and Jenny. They had seemed awfully happy when they thought Calvin had died. He did not notice Molly hovering behind him, eyes glowing with power. Molly, however, did not notice Scully behind her with her gun locked and loaded.
Alan brought the duct tape to Becky and she started taping the Calvin pieces back together. Becky used the CPR mask and gave Calvin mouth-to-mouth but he still wasn't breathing. Alissa wiped the spit off her face, pulled out her glasses from her pocket, and walked toward Becky. "Maybe I can help." Alissa knelt beside them and an intense illuminance engulfed the 3 of them. When the light faded, Calvin was whole again, only wrapped with duct tape like a mummy. However, he was still not awake, so everybody shouted out his name and slapping his unconscious face.
**********
------------------------------------------------------------------
PURGATORY
BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL
------------------------------------------------------------------
What once was merely one voice saying his name suddenly became many. Maybe it was just echoes in this strange place. "They're calling you," Wolfenstein said. The voices seemed familiar, but Calvin did not want to leave. All of a sudden, Calvin felt pain on his face and was ripped from this ephemeral existence.
**********
------------------------------------------------------------------
CORPOREAL WORLD
SILVER CREEK HIGH SCHOOL
------------------------------------------------------------------
The once-lifeless body of Calvin now gasped for air. He awoke with a vengeance. He was determined to find out who had commanded Molly to **** him. Back in Crannell's office, Mulder stared in disbelief. "Oh my God," he whispered. Molly screeched, ready to strike. Scully fired a shot at the belly of the cow and the force of the bullet slammed the floating cow against the wall. Scully shot again, this time at the head.
The cow exploded.
Jenny had seen the entire ordeal in the hall. Eron was there too of course. Jenny shrieked in pain and collapsed onto her knees. Eron shrieked too and collapsed as well. Scully swung around and pointed the gun at the 2 in the hall. "What did you find, Mulder."
"Nothing, Scully. These 2 don't have any previous criminal records."
"Then why did you say, 'Oh my God'?"
"Because I saw the cow's glowing reflection on the monitor. Now, after seeing the consequences of the cow's destruction, I finally realize what's going on. These kids had control of the cow all along. They "reprogrammed" in addition to betraying the Lord of Darkness. It was supposed to be a weapon against him. When you destroyed the cow, these kids felt the pain through the empathic link they had through the spell."
The agents walked past the Jenny and Eron who were still collapsed on the floor. They stood above Eron's open backpack and without "breaking and entering" peered inside. Within was a book titled "Sorcery for Dummies." In light of this new evidence, the Lord of Darkness returned and whisked Mulder and Scully back to Washington D.C. He put the entire backpack in an evidence bag and assembled everyone for the trial.
------------------------------------------------------------------
LATER THAT NIGHT
DOWNTOWN SAN JOSE MUNICIPAL COURTHOUSE
------------------------------------------------------------------
"All rise. Calvin L**** versus Jenny O** and Eron V********* one count of demonic possession and one count of ****ing a minor. The honorable Lord of Darkness presiding."
"Good morning, your honor. Rebbecca (Becky) R***-A******, first chair for the plaintiff, Calvin L****."
"Good morning, your honor. Rico Wolfe, second chair for the plaintiff, C***** L****."
"Good morning, your honor. Lynol Hutz for the defendants Jenny O**, Alissa R******, Thomsa S******, Eron V*********, and Alan W***."