Slayers in Dreamland

Ch. 8, Pt. 1: Between the Head and the Heart

Somewhere in the back of her mind she could feel herself being pulled into the firm, comforting warmth of his arms. Then came the feeling of ands moving, whether they were hers or his she couldn't tell, but soon the softness of her bed against her back followed as the continued heat of his lips on hers never ended. She could remember vague daydreams of what this moment would be like, how he would feel, and taste, but those thoughts did not prepare her for this dragon slave he now cast on her senses.

When he kissed her the logic part of his brain sent warning signals. When he pulled her tighter to him his reasoning tried to intervene and when they fell back onto the bed he stopped thinking all together. He could only feel her lips against his and her body in his arms. He had no idea what had possessed him, just that when he looked into her blue eyes bright with anger and a passion for living and it made him want to feast upon that fire that burned within her and so he did.

Their legs tangled together as they lay in each other's arms simply kissing and touching, in silence. Words seemed to be their undoing. There were moments that they had shared were almost something happened, but not quite whether due to a look, a blush or words. Now none of those things seemed to be stopping them. All that mattered now was warmth and feeling. The thought of stopping seemed to be the only thing forbidden.

Zelgadis's mind was a jumble of confusion. He was tasting something sweet, feeling something soft. Then something moving up his leg made him open his eyes and sound register in his ears. Amelia lay in his arms, her leg resting on his hip; his hand on her thigh and a slight moan escaped her lips as his brain began functioning again.

"Oh my god," he thought pulling his lips away from hers immediately. "What am I doing," he whispered through heavy breathing.

"It's called kissing," the princess whispered against his lips and continued where they left off. With the reconnection of her lips to his he returned to his previous state of incoherent thought. Zelgadis wrapped his arms around her waist tighter, marveling at the softness of her skin until her hand found it's way into the inside of his shirt then his reasoning returned full force. "Amelia, we have to talk," he whispered firmly.

"I can think of better things to do with our lips but if you want to talk we can," she said with a calmness that did not reflect her inner feelings.

"I think we should sit up and . . ."

"No," she said punctuating the word by wrapping her leg around his waist. "This is fine."

"But,"

"If you want to talk to me we stay like this."

"I shouldn't have done this," he sighed.

"Done what?"

"Kissed you."

"Why?"

"Because I shouldn't be using you like this to, to "

"Are you saying you kissed me because of some kind of sexual frustration thing," she asked making the chimera blush slightly.

"Yes," he answered. "This is it," he thought, " This is the part where she'll throw me out, think I'm a jerk and never speak to me again."

"Didn't we already establish that you're a lousy liar," she laughed gently and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"And what makes you think I'm lying?"

"Because if that were true we wouldn't be having this conversation. So what's the real reason you shouldn't have done this?"

He looked downcast and sighed. "Because I have completely crossed the line of our friendship. I know sometimes I don't act like it but I think highly of you."

"You act like this is your sole responsibility."

"Isn't it?"

"No," the princess shook her head. "You kissed me and I let you. If I didn't want you to I could have stopped you.

"Really," he smiled.

"I could have fire-balled you, Elemika lanced you, Mega brandoed or Ra-tilted . . ."

"I get it," he laughed.

"The point is I wanted you to kiss me so I let you. Quite frankly if I'd known this would be the end result of an argument with you I'd have picked a fight with you long before this."

"Why did you, I still don't understand/"

"I was angry, more at myself then anything and you were there to take it out on, I'm sorry," she whispered and hugged him closer. "After the show, I saw you with Evette and well . . . I got a little hurt and jealous, you were right about that."

"And that's why you left," he reasoned and she nodded. "I don't know why I did this, "I'm really . . ."

"Don't say you're sorry," she said firmly staring at him. "You had an emotional urge you succumbed to it, there's nothing wrong with that."

"We're friends Amelia, that's all we can be is just friends I'm sorry I didn't set things straight sooner and making a big mess out of things now," he said disentangling himself and sitting up. "I'm really sorry."

"That's what you wanted to talk about after the show tonight wasn't it," she asked also sitting up.

"Yes," he nodded.

"I thought so," she said quietly.

They sat beside each other in silence for a long time thinking about this sudden change in events.

"I can't say it anymore clearer then that," he thought regretting that he hadn't had the guts to say it sooner and feeling like a heal for confusing her even more with the kiss.

It has been said that in times of great sadness if you listen carefully enough you can pinpoint the exact moment that your heart breaks. Amelia's heart was had not only broken but shattered within her. She wanted to cry, to yell some hateful reply, the call him out on the fact that they had spent the last who knew how long caught up in something she felt was truly magical, that he had intitated.

"Crushes come and go and one day you'll met someone nice and fall in love," she heard him say.

She hadn't expected him to express his undying love after one kiss but she hadn't expected this either, for him to completely push aside everything that had happened. She was so sure things were getting better between them these last few days and it was this that made her hope that maybe, just maybe . . .

"Lots of princes like you and I'm sure your father has someone nice in mind for you," he rambled on. "Maybe I should just leave," he ended quietly.

"Why do you act like you're not entitled to feel anything," she finally asked resulting in a confused look from the chimera. "I've caught glimpses of you when you smile or laugh a little about something, then all of a sudden you clam up and get distant like it's a terrible thing for you to be happy. The last few days are the first time I've seen you happy and not try to hide it," she ended staring at the floor, wishing she could sink into it like quicksand along with all her hurt.

Zelgadis looked at her as she stared at the floor quietly. Her question was an unexpected on. Happiness had seemed an illusive thing to him since 'the incident'. It led to hope and hope always led to disappointment, especially when the prospect of a cure lay in front of him. "If you haven't noticed my life hasn't given me too many reasons to go singing songs of joy from the mountains," he said trying to downplay the question. "After a good nights sleep and a lot of thought you'll see I'm right about this. I hope we can still be friends," he smiled weakly and got up to leave.

"You can't let it end up this way, You just can't," a voice inside her cried desperately. "Zelgadis," she whispered, as the pieces of her shattered heart seemed to regroup as he turned to her. "You've underestimate two things," she stated her voice growing stronger, "The way I feel about you and yourself. If you want to be friends fine, but you have to understand something," she said looking him in the eye.

"And that is," he asked carefully.

"That I liked kissing you," she smiled walking over to him, pulling him down to her eye level by the collar, "And if the opportunity presents itself I'll do it again." She held his face in her small hands and did just that, giving him a brief kiss slightly toying at his lower lip.

"Amelia, you can't really," he started a little flustered.

"I'm not playing the starry-eyed, love-struck princess whose going to wait for you to come to your senses, Zelgadis."

"So your going to pursue someone who doesn't want to be?"

"Not at all," she smiled.

"Then what are you doing?"

"Why chase after something I already have. You were the one who said I was beautiful when I was angry. You were the one who kissed me, remember? You felt something, whether it's about me or something else I don't know but whatever it is I'm not letting you just walk away and act like nothing's happening."

He had expected her to be sad, maybe yell even cry a little but this was the last thing he thought she would do. She was calm, gentle but firm and very determined when he thought other girls would be wide-eyed and hysterical. "She's definitely not like other girls," he thought.

"I'm not going to hound you or cling to you like flypaper. I just think it's time I stop telling you how I feel and start showing you. If you like someone else I'll understand, but above everything else I am your friend and I want you to see that you have the right to be happy just like anyone else," she smiled kissing him on the tip of his nose then releasing him.

"You sound pretty determined," was all he could manage.

"I'm not giving up on you just yet, I can't," she whispered.

"I see," he nodded dazed, "Good night."

When he left, Amelia went to her bed and lay there staring at the empty space that only minutes earlier the chimera occupied. She could still feel his warmth on the sheets. She wrapped herself in them tightly hoping some of it would seep into her and praying that tonight would not be the first and only time she would be in his arms.

When he left her room, Zelgadis walked to his room still dazed until he was inside sitting on his bed. He exhaled the deep breath he'd been holding. His emotions had been reeking havoc on him for the last few days gnawing at the last vestiges of his self-control. So it didn't surprise him that the princess's vow of persistence pleased him slightly, as did the knowledge that she liked kissing him and the promise that she would do so again.