|
|
Author's Prologue
Harukami: Ah ha ha ha! I did it! I wrote a Slayers fic!
Haruka: Does this mean gasp that we aren't in it?
Harukami: Mm-hmm.
Michiru: I don't think that's happened yet.
Harukami: You didn't show up in my Greenwood fic.
Haruka and Michiru : We're free! For a little while, we're free!!!!
Harukami: rolls eyes Ok, so this is kinda very OOC. That's because the amount of Slayers NEXT/TRY I've seen is so miniscule that you could probably get it traded for a gumball.
Minna: holding out gumballs Yes, please!
Harukami: Just a LITTLE literal-minded, aren't you? Sorry, guys, no Val.
Valgaarv: I never get any air time. grumble grumble
Harukami: However, there is Xelloss.
Xel: ^_^
Valgaarv: grumbling changes to cheering Ya mean I get away from that thing?!
Xel: ^_^;
Harukami: hey! There's YAOI! Well, sort of. You can make it yaoi if you wanted to. I tried to write something not yaoi or yuri, but by the end, I gave up. So it's a little bit yaoi.
Zelgadis: Wait a minute! With who?! Valgaarv isn't there, so that leaves Gourry, me, and... dear gods, no...
Xel: reading ahead *^_^* <-- batting eyelashes.
Gourry: What's yaoi?
Zel: And because Gourry is too dense to understand what was involved even then, and even claims to be straight... that means.... NOT THE FUCKING MAZOKU!?!!!!!
Lina: Could be worse... could be 'NOT FUCKING THE MAZOKU'...
Zel: Don't. Even. Joke. About. That. Fanfiction authors have already done that.
Xel: purring Ne... Zel-kun... what's the matter? Don't you like me?
Zel: NO! punches Xelloss
Xel: Ummmm... @_@... that's good... do it again, harder...
Harukami: Mazoku is the name for the demon race, from ma - demon and zoku - race. However, while really bored, I was flipping through my dictionary and saw mazo - masochist. Interested immediately, I checked ku. ku - pain/agony. Small world, ne, Xel-kun?
Xel: ^_^ thunk thunk thunk
Amelia: beating on Xelloss's head NO NO NO!!! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!! HE'S MINE!
Zel: looks at his two choices and begins contemplating suicide
Harukami: You might also notice that A Certain Obsessed Young Lady isn't in this fic. That's because Shielfiel is so boring that I forgot she existed.
Shielfiel: Oh, Gourry-sama!
Gourry: has forgotten what's going on Ne, Shielfiel, what's yaoi? Why can't I be in a yaoi fic?
Shielfiel:..... Oh, Gourry-sama!
Harukami: Think of this as a sort of what if fic. I have no idea why Xelloss killed all the Gold Dragons. (minus one)
Xelloss: opening demon eyes Their screams were beautiful... their blood dark on the ground... actually, I wrote a poem about it somewhere... ^_^
Harukami:... but since I like him so much, I want to know. Presumably he had a reason.
Xel: Yes. Whim. ^_^
Harukami: Some say it was because it's rumoured he was lovers with Val, and the Gold Dragons killed all the Ancient Dragons (which Val was/is). But that doesn't explain why Val hates him and Xel gruesomely attacked him.
Xel: I still like him. That's why I hurt him. He's part Mazoku, you know, so pain feels...
Val: SHUT UP! I hate that bastard because he stole the vengeance I was reborn part Mazoku for!
Gaav: So you are unhappy that I did it.
Val: heart My Gaav-sama! Oh, Gaav-sama, is that a speck of dirt on your boots? Let me lick it off for you...
Gaav: hungry smile Do so.
Xel: Oh, you.
Gaav: Know your place, priest of my enemy! Val-chan?
Lina: Val...
Amelia: ...chan?
Val: Yes, my Gaav-sama?
Gaav: Hit that imposter with something.
Val: Yes, Gaav-sama! wrestles with Gourry for the Hikari no Ken
Harukami: Enough with this before this becomes a fic of its own! On to my story!
Zelgadis doodled in the dirt with a stick, watching the campfire idly. It was late at night, but after the fight with some Mazoku yesterday, - cannon fodder under some enemy of Xelloss's... or Xelloss's master - no one felt like sleeping. Amelia had dropped off several times, but had screamed herself awake after the type of dreams everyone knew was waiting for them. Perhaps Xelloss was the only one who wasn't afraid of what his subconcious would dredge up, but it was also possible that Xelloss never slept.
Instead of sleeping, the chimera studied his companions. Lina was staring into the fire as if trying to read something there. Her hair was dark flame itself in this light. From there, his eyes passed to the young shaman, Amelia. He sighed slightly. He liked her spirit and the promise he'd seen in her, so he'd agreed to teach her. Now she had a huge crush on him, and he didn't know how to deal with that. He liked her just fine, aside from her obsession with justice, and she was a good enough pupil, but by the gods, she was just a child! He simply wasn't interested, there was nothing truly to draw him to her, but he didn't want to ruin her spirit by telling her that. So he kept silent, and so did she.
Across the fire was Gourry. He was polishing the blade that disguised the Hikari no Ken. [1] He seemed completely absorbed in the task - and probably was, what with the difficulties he had thinking. However, he was completely honest about him emotions, and made a good friend. Zelgadis smiled slightly.
However, it changed itself into a scowl as he looked at his last travelling companion.
Xelloss was back and by himself a little, but didn't seem to mind. He was sitting crosslegged a few feet above the ground and was humming some cheerful tune [2] to himself as he carved something from a block of wood. Every now and then the knife would slip and Xelloss's smile would widen for an instant as his hands bled slightly onto his carving, and then would go back to work. He must be using some kind of special dagger, Zelgadis mused, or he probably wouldn't even have bled at all. As it was, he only bled a little. Ordinary weapons cannot kill Mazoku.
Zelgadis knew this from first-hand experience. Once Rezo had turned him into a chimera - part human, part golem, and part Mazoku, he hadn't been even able to kill himself. Now he had a goal to concentrate on, but then, it had been hell. He had never forgiven Rezo for that. He had hated Rezo.
He hated Xelloss almost as much. Xelloss teased him, drew attention to him when he'd rather be left alone, got them into trouble and only occasionally out of it, acted so infuriating, so dangerous at times... he could kill without remorse... and worst of all, he was a Mazoku. He was what Zelgadis could become due to his body's nature. And he hated the goddamn priest even more when he found himself wondering if it would be all that bad to be Mazoku...
Of COURSE it would be. Zelgadis had sworn to find a way to turn his body back to human, and then he'd not have to worry about... [3]
"Whoops! Lost a finger!" that infuriating voice said cheerfully, interrupting Zelgadis's train of thought. The chimera glanced over to see Xelloss waving a hand with only four fingers on it. "Amelia-chan, will you get it for me?"
Amelia's eyes went really wide and she clutched at her mouth, turning green.
"Aww, c'mon, it's just a dismembered finger. What's the matter?"
The young shaman ran into the forest where she could be heard throwing up.
Calmly, Zelgadis picked up Xelloss's finger and carried it to the priest. Xelloss took it, smiling as usual. "Thanks, Zel-kun. You're such a pal!"
Zelgadis couldn't help himself. He punched Xelloss as hard as he could. The priest slammed back into a nearby tree and Zelgadis raised his fist again.
"Are you going to hit me again?" Xelloss whispered. The Mazoku raised his head, and Zelgadis could see the ecstacy clearly on his face. "If so... can you do it a little harder?" [4]
Something inside Zelgadis clicked and all his hatred... disgust... fear of the creature came rushing forward and he started kicking Xelloss,as hard as he could. "I... hate... you stupid... fruitcake... Mazoku!"
"Don't stop..." Xelloss murmured.
Small hands clutched at Zelgadis's cloak, and Amelia's voice rang out. "Zelgadis-san, please stop! Don't hurt Xelloss-san any more! He didn't mean to upset me, he didn't know I'd get nauseous so easily, it's not his fault! Please stop, Zelgadis-san, you're scaring me!"
Stupid, young girl! Doesn't she realize that there's so much more than that in this?! Zelgadis raged in his mind, but pulled his calmness over his face and turned away from Xelloss, who had pushed himself to his elbow and was shaking slighly. "Don't ever pull something like that again, Mazoku," Zelgadis said, knowing it was a useless statement, but feeling he needed to say something.
"Remember," Xelloss called out behind him, "if you ever need to take your anger out on someone again, I'm always willing to be a punching bag for a friend!"
"Friend," Lina said, speaking for the first time for that evening. "ARE you our friend, Xelloss?"
"Why, Lina-san!" [5] Xelloss exclaimed cheerfully, "Of course I am! If I wasn't, I'd have killed several of you by now out of sheer boredom! You are all so entertaining I could stay with you guys forever, so I try to help you and get you out of trouble without letting you grow dependant on me. Of course I'm your friend!" Suddenly, he opened serious eyes. "Are you mine?"
Lina raised her head, dark circles under her eyes, a physical sign of the horror she had witnessed earlier. "Xelloss... can you feel friendship for someone? You murdered the Gold Dragons... you did what you did to the enemy earlier tonight... how long will it be before you kill us?"
"I don't intend to. You people are exactly what I need. Today, those were the enemy. You would never have treated them so ruthlessly, so I had to. If I hadn't, they would have done as badly to us."
"You enjoyed it," Lina pointed out. "Would you have enjoyed OUR deaths as much?"
Xelloss smiled. "Would you have enjoyed mine?"
"Yes," Zelgadis muttered.
"No," Lina said, "we wouldn't have. I would have missed you, for all your..." She trailed off. "But you didn't kill the Gold Dragons because they were enemies."
"They were enemies," Xelloss pointed out. "All Dragons are our enemies, even if we like them personally. We are the opposite end of the scale: They promise justice and never give it, we promise destruction and pain and deliver. But, no, that wasn't why. There was a reason, though."
"Well, what?" Lina demanded angrily. "What the hell could the reason have been?!"
"That's a secret," [6] Xelloss said, and added, "a personal one."
Lina dropped that subject. "You still haven't answered my question. CAN you feel friendship?"
"Mazoku," Xelloss said, "although feeding off negative emotions and enjoying them, can feel positive ones. But in our society,..." he hesitated, and his face had never been so serious, "... in our society, bad things happen to ones who admit to such emotions. Very... bad things." He suddenly smiled again, as if dismissing the past. "So, are you my friends? I accepted you as friends for all your flaws. Do you accept mine?"
"I don't know," Lina admitted. "I just don't know."
Gourry looked uncomfortable.
Amelia covered her face.
Zelgadis scowled deeply.
"I see," Xelloss smiled. "I'll give you some time to think about it." He vanished into the air.
"Damn Mazoku," Zelgadis muttered.
[Xelloss's POV]
I love those dragons. I hate them for that. They fascinate me. They gave me hope. So I killed them.
Damn them and their justice! There IS no justice! The past was proof of that to me. THere was no justice given to me in the past and it will continue that way. Yet those dragons believed there was justice, justice in everything, even when they themselves did unjust things. They made me begin to hope for a happy ending. To hope for justice. If any other Mazoku had found out... even if I DID start to believe in justice, the next time something unfair happened, it would destroy me completely. THe hope and the knowledge that there was no reason to hope scared me, so I destroyed the cause.
I proved to them that there was no justice.
That's why I let one of them live. Otherwise, they'd never have understood.
But the root of that hope had already wormed its way into me. I cover it up, I love pain, death, chaos... and sometimes something in me longs for more. Fortunately, the intelligent part of me know it will never happen.
Perhaps that's why my master sent me to watch over Lina. She needed someone to do it, but maybe she wanted to give me a chance at my wish. She likes me, and I like her. Maybe that was enough for her to want...
No, that's being stupid. There is no justice. There is no hope for better things.
Nevertheless, despite being a good killer, I was sent to watch over Lina. Maybe one day the orders will change, but not any time soon.
I bring them an element of chaos, and they're drawn to me for that, much as they'd never admit it.
And they understand about justice.
Amelia is the only one who doesn't, but she will bring it on herself. Zelgadis doesn't love her, cannot love her the way she wishes. She's like his little sister. And soon, very soon, she will discover that life is truly unfair.
Gourry? For all his apparent innocence, if something terribly unfair hadn't happened to him, he'd be a farmer in some small town, not a mercenary fighter.
Lina is great. She doesn't trust me, but that's only right. She walks the fine line between good and evil. She's out for herself and her friends, and everyone else is unimportant. I like that. That's why I was honest to her earlier... well, as honest as I get.
Zelgadis... ah, Zelgadis. You think you hate me, but you don't really. I'd feel that. You feel towards me as I felt towards the Gold Dragons. You fear me because you think you could become like me.
I should encourage that. But instead I find myself wanting to comfort you. Sort of pleasant but sort of scary. The pain that desire causes is interesting.
Hate can't bring pain like friendship can.
THat's why I want them to be friends, right? It must be.
So why do I wish for some of the softer... niceties of friendship?...
Stupid Dragons.
[End Xelloss's POV]
It had been two weeks and Xelloss wasn't back yet. Zelgadis moved uncomfortably, fingering the object in his pocket, the carving the trickster priest had been working on.
A Dragon. Xelloss's blood spotted it, making it look recently killed.
Please, gods, let the Mazoku in me never make me like him.
Still, it might not be too bad to see his annoying smile or hear his infuriating voice again, Zelgadis thought.
He realized with horror that he was missing the priest.
Like hell! Zelgadis raged mentally. It's probably his fault that we're being attacked so often now.
They were all jumpy. Gourry kept his Hikari no Ken out, undisguised, Amelia and Lina were hair-triggered, and Zelgadis had found himself with his hand on his sword hilt of half-finished a spell before he realized it had only been the wind that had disturbed him.
They were all dangerous now.
"Zelgadis," Lina said quietly. "Did you hear that?"
They all froze, silent.
A rustle, and a twig snapped. Silence.
Zelgadis rested his hand on his sword hilt.
Two hands slapped themselves down on his shoulders. "Boo." a voice whispered.
Zelgadis spun and thrust with his sword.
Xelloss fell back, eyes open and wide in apparent surprise. Blood blossomed on his chest where the sword had run him through. He raised a hand to the wound. "You've killed me," he exclaimed. Slowly, he fell to his knees, trembling.
"Gods!" Amelia cried out. Lina pulled the young girl close.
"Xelloss..." Lina whispered, shocked.
"Oh, no.." Gourry's eyes were wide.
"Xelloss..." Zelgadis murmured. His weapon clattered to the ground. "I... I didn't mean to..."
"You did..." Xelloss pushed his hands weakly against the wound.
"I..." Distantly, Zelgadis's mind was reminding him that this was a damned Mazoku, but he couldn't seem to feel it. "I'm so sorry."
"May I... have one last... wish from you?" Xelloss pulled the chimera near, his breathing rough and his voice difficult to hear. Zelgadis didn't resist.
"What is it?"
"K - kiss me." Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Zelgadis's mouth to his with surprisingly strong hands.
Zelgadis's eyes widened.
"There," Xelloss smiled, and fell to the ground, limp.
"Xelloss?" Zelgadis whispered, eyes wide. He was dead. The damn Mazoku was dead. He couldn't believe it. "Xel-loss?"
Those demonic eyes popped open. "Just kidding!" [7]
Zelgadis went from grief to anger in an instant. "You bastard!" He kicked at Xelloss's wound.
"Ugh! Zel-kun, you know that - oof - ordinary weapons won't - uhhh - harm me." Zelgadis kept kicking. "AH! Look, while this is quite - ah! - pleasant, I'm trying to talk!"
Zelgadis turned, torn between angry tears and a smile. "You fruitcake."
Lina started to smile, then laugh. Amelia's eyes had remained wide since the kiss, and Gourry was looking confused.
Xelloss stood and leaned in close to Zelgadis's ear. "Your Mazoku side will not draw you to darkness, Zel-kun. You have to be raised by Mazoku for that to happen. So any hatred you feel is caused by your past, not your nature." He raised his voice to its natural level again. "So don't worry anymore, ne?"
"You mean..." Zelgadis stuttered. "I'm not... I don't..."
Xelloss smiled brightly. "If you are, it's your heart that does it, not your body."
Amelia was looking worried. [8]
Zelgadis caught at Xelloss's arm before the priest could walk away. "Why? Why did you tell me this?"
"Sore wa..." Xelloss cut short his favourite saying. "No. That's not right. I told you," he smiled, "because that's what a friend does. [9] So, we gonna stick around here all year or get a move on?"
Notes
I'm nuts. Absolutely.
1 - There is a metal blade in the hilt of the Hikari no Ken. If a button is pushed, it falls out and Gourry can summon the Hikari no Ken, used first to kill a Mazoku who had been summoned to fight them.
2 - The tune is But! But! But! (no, not Butt! Butt! Butt!, as some people have tried to make it out to be), his NEXT image song. It's cheery, shows GREAT character development, and also one of the things which implies that he's got a thing for Lina. (or Gourry, but probably Lina...)
3 - And so the quest for the Claire Bible that can change him back to human.
4 - There is a debate on-going on whether all Mazoku are sado-masochistic, most are, or they simply do not feel pain like humans do. However, as they feed off pain and hatred, their own and others, and as Xelloss and the other Mazoku I've seen go to great lengths to GET hurt sometimes, and usually seem to enjoy it, I'm saying that at the least, Xel-kun is Mazo. (giggle)
5 - Xelloss is the most polite to Lina. This is because of a few possible things. i) The beast-master, Xellas, his master, ordered him to keep watch over Lina. ii) it's rumoured he's in love with Lina [however, do not fear, yaoi fans... Xelloss acts like he's interested in everyone ('cept Amelia, thank whoever's listening at this time) and I doubt Mazoku understand the concept of monogamy... actually, considering what they feed off of, their society probably encourages affairs...
6 - Xelloss's favourite saying, used to infuriate people. "Sore wa Himitsu desu!" I'll say it in Japanese every time after that.
7 - Oh, come on, you didn't actually think I'd off him, did you?!?
8 - Check which part of the conversation she heard.
9 - He's lying, of course. He's not THAT out of character.