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awn rises over the forest, a bright yellow, sinking between the trees lazily as the sun climbs its way to the top. Because that's what Brian was doing -- climbing all the way to the top.
His professional name was Skeleton Badass, which he spent a great deal of time thinking up. He was surprised at how easy managing a gang of bandits was, compared to his former career of cost accountancy; the profits were high, and as long as he kept an eye on the overhead and expenditures, it was quite profitable. Once he had enough funds, he could invest in larger scale operations, scaling up that criminal underworld ladder... and soon, he'd be the most important man in Sailoon, aside perhaps from the royals and from the musical superstars and other notable persons... at any rate, a LOT of people would look up to him, and probably wouldn't make fun of his voice again.
Because Skeleton Badass felt that waking up early was a good road towards better health, he survived that day. (Which just goes to show that he was right.)
His bandit camp wasn't anything special... some wooden walls, a watchtower, a cave to store the loot in. Still, it was home. Skeleton Badass did some stretching exercises, to keep in some sort of reasonable physical shape, yawned, looked at the fireball quietly wafting its way into his midst, looked around for his toothbrush, went...
Wait a minute.
BOOM.
The watchtower exploded into so much firewood, Skeleton Badass covering himself instinctively to avoid any damage; and lucky, avoiding any of that flaming driftwood. More fireballs shot into the camp, impacting against the hill, blowing a hole in the gates, in the fence...
Now the boys were awake, and had their swords / clubs / maces / knives out, ready to combat the invaders. Skeleton was a smart man, and as a wise battle tactical commander realized his only chance to survive was to go hide, so he did.
Through the fire, smoke and haze, he saw a single figure...
Cost accountancy was starting to look like a very good way to live out the rest of his life.
Lina Inverse was here.
She hadn't even worked up a sweat, tossing around the most basic of shamanistic spells. This wasn't any real test of her abilities, but it was akin to morning exercises... you know, get up, stretch, stomp bandits, and so on.
Gourry was busy exercising as well, being simultaneously attacked by six or seven guys all carrying swords longer than he was. Lina stood on one of the fenceposts, watching as her 'bodyguard' sliced each sword into halves, then fourths, then eights... then caused enough minor injuries and humiliations to the others to make them run away. Because really, Lina and Gourry weren't here to murder these guys... just encourage a swift career change and confiscate their confiscated monies for the betterment of hersel-- ah, for all mankind.
"Need any help!?" Lina called, hopping to the side to avoid an arrow.
"I'm fine, thank you!!" Gourry shouted back up, nicking a false eyepatch off another one of the bandits. Lina decided to give him a hand anyway, scorching/freezing/blasting some of the bandits away from Gourry.
Within minutes, and we're talking minutes you could count on one hand if you had your thumb surgically removed, the battle was over and the keep was theirs. Lina hopped down from her observation post, her wings opening just momentarily to allow her to flutter to the ground, before going away again -- she'd been practicing with them lately.
"Is there anybody left? I could use some coffee," Lina commented, glancing around. She spotted the mess area (which was a mess, pardon the pun) and wandered over, in search of warm beverage.
Motion caught her eye.
Lina blew the table away, shattering it against a far wall, revealing the cowering form of Skeleton Badass.
"Hello!" Lina smiled. "Are you the leader of these guys?"
"No?" Skeleton Badass guessed.
Gourry wandered up, turning the Looming Spectre of Impending Bodily Harm effect on full. "What do you want to do with him, Lina?..."
"I'm sorry!!" Brian babbled. "It was a stupid career move! I should have never left my accounting firm, I just wanted some respect and I didn't want to be burned alive at the hands of the Enemy of All Who Live, Lina Inverse! Oh, god, have mercy! PLEEAASSEE!!!"
"You're an accountant?" Lina asked, confused.
Brian handed her a slightly crumpled business card. It had several acronymized degrees after his name.
Lina studied it a moment, gears turning... and she shrugged. "Eh, let him go."
Seventeen statements of thanks were compressed into five seconds, and Brian was up and running, out of the nearest hole in the fence, possibly never to be seen again.
"You let him go?" Gourry asked. "I thought you always said 'no mercy for the bad guys...'"
"I don't know... he just looked so helpless. Like a kicked puppy," Lina said, having a seat nearby. "Hrm. Gourry, are you enjoying our morning outings to clean the scum out of Sailoon?"
"Sure," Gourry said, noncommittally. He sheathed his sword, not needing it for the rest of the day.
"My thoughts exactly," Lina said. "Bit of activity, a little enjoyable, but... it doesn't have the same appeal. I mean, these bandits are people too, just very stupid evil people who deserve a good thrashing. But does that mean we have to harass them constantly?"
"Who are you and what have you done with Lina?" Gourry asked, stunned.
"I never said I LIKED bandits," Lina said. "Just that I'm not getting the same kick out of kicking them I once did, you know? What have we been doing for the last two weeks, anyway? Hanging around Sailoon, investigating bandits, stomping them, getting rich, eating big dinners..."
"But that's what we always do," Gourry reminded her.
"I know. And there's nothing wrong with big dinners and vast quantities of cash. Just feels like... there should be MORE, you know?" Lina said. "As careers go, this one's pretty repetitive. Tiresome. Uninteresting. What we need is a big challenge. I mean, a real test of skills, of magic and swords and wits!"
"I dunno, Lina. Auntie always said it's a bad idea to ask for trouble..."
"I'm not asking for trouble, exactly, just... a little excitement," Lina said. She paused, examining Gourry like a fine cut of beef. "Hey, you wanna go out to dinner tonight?"
"But we always go out to dinner."
"I mean GO OUT to dinner," Lina said. "Like, socially."
Gourry didn't get it, as was his lot in life. "But we always GO OUT to dinner like socially."
"I MEAN... oh, nevermind. Let's go get lunch, at least," Lina said, getting to her feet.
"Aren't we going to loot the bandit cave?" Gourry asked, pointing to the hidden dark depths that might contain untold secrets and fortunes.
"Naah," Lina said. "We're so rich we don't have anywhere to put the cash nowadays. We'll come back and loot it later if we run low."
Now Gourry was worried.
This was a new way for Lina to act. He'd gotten used to her occasional bouts of depression and fake self-confidence. He'd even gotten used to her desire to hide away from her problems. But he'd never seen her totally uninterested in her usual hobbies, yet still smiling and carefree.
Lately, Gourry had taken an exceptional interest in Lina's well being. True, he'd always been her bodyguard, to keep her from being killed by people and stuff, but lately he felt she needed... other types of guarding. Like keeping her happy, that sort of thing. But this wasn't an area Gourry had any formal training in, unlike swordplay. So far, he'd just been flying by the seat of his pants, trying to figure it out as he went along, just working from gut instinct. Aunt Koirry said that he actually had a very well developed instinct, but Gourry couldn't tell.
He knew better to invite trouble, but he secretly hoped something would happen that would cheer Lina up. No, she was already cheerful... something that would satisfy her, then. Something that would... oh, he didn't know. He wasn't good with words. He just wanted Lina to be well, and that'd have to do for explaining it.
"What do you fancy? Saileese takeout, maybe?" Lina asked, summoning her wings. Gourry had gotten used to seeing them by now, the pair of golden butterfly wings that Lina obtained during her last big adventure... but he hadn't gotten used to her flying all over the place with them. Lina's feet rarely touched the ground lately, unless they were in a city. Walking was no longer an option for the sorceress on the go.
"Do we have to... y'know, fly?" Gourry asked. "I'm starting to get vertical."
"Vertigo," Lina corrected. "What's to worry about? With the wings, I can put a Raywing flight bubble around you separately instead of using the power on myself. You're perfectly safe."
"What if you get distracted? I'd be a Gabriev pancake!"
"Sheesh, Gourry, don't be so negative," Lina smiled. "You know? I bet we're headed into some very interesting times."
"That's good, right?"
"Of course," Lina said, a brief look passing over her face of seriousness. "Hard to explain, but... I've got a feeling that--"
A low hum came from Lina's waist level, and the inside of her cloak started to glow a golden color... Lina glanced down, to see the hilt of her butterfly-handled sword, flaring briefly with power.
"What the--?" she said, feeling a rush of power through her... not magic. Magic had a feel to it that was distinct. This felt more like cold liquid gold, flowing upriver to her mind, down the back of her shirt, a giggle, luck with drama and a myth and a paradox of weather with nightmare implications spreading out over her wings in a fine coat contrary to gravity...
A harsh wind blasted across the land, disrupting the fair weather of Sailoon. Gourry changed his footing, to avoid being knocked aside in the blast; Lina looked up, to see the clouds... move. Sliding as if in gale force winds, just a few moments, before going back to their normal slow crawl across the sky.
Lina lost her balance, world spinning like a top. Gourry was there to catch her, but she righted herself before he got there, the feeling vanishing just as fast as it had washed over her.
"Wh.. what was that?" she asked. "Felt like a wave of something... didn't the enchantment on this sword die off after I killed Nightmare with it?"
"I don't know any of that magic stuff," Gourry reminded her.
"It's Talents, actually, but... I don't know any of it either," Lina said, focusing on the single unusual thing to happen that day. "Maybe we should visit the palace and ask Reason. She's still there, right?"
"You shouldn't have wished for trouble, I think..."
"Gourry, you can't just go 'I hope something interesting turns up' and expect something interesting to turn up," Lina said. "The world doesn't work like that. It's very ordered. If--"
The wind picked up again, but not from the weather. A passing blur shot over their heads, blotting out the sun for a moment, with the downdraft of a gigantic pair of wings compressing the air... a tail shot past them, the Gold Dragon flying fast, ignoring everything below it.
"Da-Dr-DRAGON!?" Gourry exclaimed. "What's a Dragon doing here?! Lina, I thought--"
"Right," Lina nodded, watching it go. "Gold Dragons tend to stick to mountains on the edges of continents. They don't go inland and they don't show themselves so obviously..."
"How do you know so much about Dragons?" Gourry asked, curiously.
"Well, you have to know these things when you're a sorceress, you know," Lina said, proudly.
Before Gourry could respond, a second shape slid through the air over them. A considerably less pleasant one, one with bat's wings, black glimmering scales, and razor sharp claws on every hand and foot... and it was chasing the Dragon.
"Uh... that wasn't a Dragon, was it?" Gourry asked. "Dragons look nicer than that..."
"That's it," Lina said, flapping her wings, hovering in the air. "Enough freaking out. I've GOT to go see what's up. Gourry, wait here."
"Wait? But it could be dangerous up there!"
"Exactly. You don't like heights, remember?"
"But--"
"It'll just take a minute," Lina said, shooting up into the sky, and flying off after the two beasts.
There are few things as spectacular as a Dragon and a Mazoku, in true form, having a mid-air battle. The majestic blasts of power, arcing through the sky like black lightning and white flame... the two winged forms, circling and dodging and trying to get an edge on the other in freeform dogfighting... it's a sight few get to behold in their lifetimes, and rarely more than once.
Because usually, anything nearby such a battle doesn't escape alive.
"Did you think you could throw me from the hunt with that tainted weather, Mazoku demon?!" the Dragon roared, hurling several balls of whiteness towards his prey. The Mazoku dodged, letting them harmlessly impact against a mountain three miles away, causing a landslide.
"Hey, I got knocked aside in that wind too, you cretin!!" the Mazoku roared, in a voice like acid over flesh. "You're the one that caused it to throw ME."
"Lies and trickery!" the Dragon howled. "Today you end, foul lord of the--"
"TIME OUT!!!!"
Both beasts glanced over at the funny human, then went right back to fighting.
Lina dodged, as a missed volley of darkness almost knocked her out of this world. Okay, maybe it wasn't going to take just a minute... something to get their attention, something to... aha.
She grasped the power of darkness, calling on one of the few rogue spells that draws on the Lord of Nightmares. "*LAGUNA BLADE!*" she cast, pulling a lance of flaring darkness out of the air, holding it steady (with much effort) in her hands. She slashed through the Dragon's next attack, canceling it completely, then spun and annihilated the Mazoku's waves of darkness.
Now they were ready to talk.
"Stand aside, strange winged human," the Dragon requested, politely. "I must destroy this beast of evil, lest its wrath be felt on your kind, and on all the world."
"Beat it, kid, we're busy," the Mazoku summarized.
"Have either of you looked DOWN?!" Lina asked, letting her Laguna Blade vanish. "There's villages and forests and other easily breakable things down there! What are you doing fighting here, anyway?"
"I am afraid a demon wind brought the battle here," the Dragon said. "We could not resist its pull. But fear not! I will vanquish mine enemy before too many of your kind are killed in the crossfire!"
"Weird, but an acceptable answer," Lina agreed. "Now. WHY are you two fighting would probably be a better question, yes?"
The Mazoku grinned, teeth like nineteen inch long steak knives. "You don't know? AHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, you'll know sooner or later, kid! Assuming you live long enough!"
Lina glared at the demon. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"The third Mazoku War is now on!" the Mazoku declared proudly. "We declared it today. Tremble and weep, humanity! The foretold moment is here, and this time, we'll beat those Dragon saps and destroy the pillar of the world! It's the end, the end of everything!!"
"Unless we stop you, as we have the last two times," the Dragons said. "This will be no true war. Fear not, human. We will protect your kind--"
Lina decided to fear instead of fear not.
"WAR?!!" Lina boggled. "Shaburanigdo got resurrected again?!"
"Who needs him?" the Mazoku shrugged. "We'll win this war without him! We've got the edge!"
It's not every day you're told, without any dramatic buildup, that the apocalypse had started while you were asleep. What's more, she was told by two mere footsoldiers in that war; and not very bright ones at that, ones who just happened to blow through the area, so to speak. Fortuitous timing of bad, bad news.
In the last Mazoku War, right before the Age of Wonders, almost 75% of the human population died in the fighting. Not that they did any fighting, having no way to hurt either a Mazoku or a Dragon... they simply happened to be in the way. If it wasn't for the sudden wave of magical genius in the aftermath, humanity would never have pulled itself out of the anarchy and ashes and rebuilt civilization. Given how stale magic had gotten in the current day and age, and given how much more of humanity there was... tomorrow didn't look pleasant.
But it didn't make sense. Lina had killed two of the Mazoku Lords, generals to Shaburanigdo; and if the Demon King himself wasn't resurrected, how were they hoping to win? None of this made sense...
She should probably be running. They'd stop this chit-chat and start back up again soon, or turn on her. Stupid as the Mazoku were, they'd cause a lot of damage on the way down. She should be finding a good spot to hide for the next few years, if there really was going to be a war to end all wars. Those are all things she should be doing...
An idea struck her, source unknown -- no, source clear. It came in a rush of power, similar to the one she felt when the weather changed. And suddenly : Lina knew what she REALLY should do. She cleared her throat, ignored the suicidal insanity of what she was about to say, and continued to address -- or rather, order -- the two beings.
"Fine!" she declared. "But you're going to go fight somewhere else, got it?! There's people down there who don't want to have any part in your stupid war. And--"
"Mazoku fight where they want to," the Mazoku said, puffing out its scaly chest. "Your little insect pals will all die anyway once we win, and end the world. What're YOU gonna do to stop that, pathetic mortal? I laugh at your--"
Lina had had enough.
"*ULTRA RESTORATION!!*" she cast, linking a white string between herself and the Mazoku--
And moments later, the Mazoku started to fall apart, heavily wounded, smoke rising from burns all over its body. It shifted down to a more humanlike form, easier to maintain, and tried to staunch its bleeding. Coughing, it glared evil flaming hatred with loathing on loathing at Lina. "You'll regret that!!" he shouted in an obligatory way, and vanished, teleporting to a safer location.
Lina felt a wall of fatigue hit her. That was a strong Mazoku... one dose of the strongest white magic wasn't enough to kill, simply cripple.. and it took everything out of her to do it.
"Well fought, human," the Dragon congratulated, also shifting to a common human appearance, to thank Lina on a personal level. "I will pursue and finish him off. I thank you for your--"
The rush tingled at the back of her mind again, reviving her momentarily.
"What I said applies to you too," Lina interrupted.
The Dragon hovered in place, confused. "What do you mean, good human?"
"Keep this garbage away from my people," Lina said, realizing how cheesy 'my people' sounded. "You know how many folks died last time you two tangoed?"
"We preserve life," the Dragon said. "Any casualties are unintentional. We do our best--"
"Try harder," Lina said. "You're so hot on being our friends, prove it. Because we're not going to put up with it the way we have before. We'll defend ourselves from Mazoku AND Dragons if we have to. Understood?"
The Dragon's heckles were ruffled by this. Patience and wisdom could only carry it so far. "Who are you, little human? Who do you speak for with such unusually direct tones?"
"I'm Lina Inverse," Lina said proudly. A tingle... more words. "I am Chaos of the Winged, Knight of the Lord of Nightmares. And you can quote me on that to your superiors. In fact, definitely quote me. Now, if you'll excuse..."
In dumb silence, the Dragon watched the winged human limp her way back to where she came from.
Briefly, it considered chasing after the Mazoku he was hunting, but higher need tugged at itself. The Council must be informed of this. Turning, it flew straight as an arrow, back to the mountains.
Gourry's concern was justified; Lina flew back to the ruined bandit camp, pale and weak. Quickly, with cunning speed and instinctive skill, he calculated where Lina was about to land, and moved to intercept, to catch her on her entirely-too-fast incoming run.
"Don't worry, Lina! I've got you!" he shouted reassuringly as Lina flew two feet to the left, skimming right past Gourry and coming to a crashing halt in the ruins of the mess hall table.
'ow,' Lina said, picking herself uneasily from the wooden chunks. "Bad hands, Gourry."
"Sorry," he apologized. "I was never good at Throw The Ball back home..."
"I just did.. a very stupid thing. Probably two very stupid things," Lina said, rubbing her head and opting to sit down for awhile. "Brace yourself, Gourry : apparently, while nobody was looking, the Mazoku declared war. We're all going to die and the world's going to burn. It's time for the apocalypse."
Gourry nodded. "So?"
Lina wobbled. "So? SO?! Don't you remember the history lessons I gave.... no, nevermind, you don't. Let's just say a lot of really powerful maniacs are going to come tearing through here soon and we need to RUN. Those two just happened to be knocked off course, but there'll be more within days!"
"Oh. That's bad," Gourry agreed. "But.. what were the two very stupid things?"
"I whipped the Mazoku and sent it running home, then practically declared war on the Dragons," Lina groaned. "I don't know what possessed me to do that. It just felt... right. Stupid, but right."
"You should always do the right thing," Gourry recited.
"Not when the right thing puts your whole species at risk! Not that they weren't before, but..."
"What do we do now?" Gourry asked.
"What else can we do?" Lina said, getting up, dusting off her wings. "Get to Sailoon and warn Amelia that her country's at ground zero! Then, I'd suggest we find a really good place to hide, preferably one that's heavily armored..."
"We're not going to fight?"
"Us? Fight THEM? Both of them?" Lina asked. "Are you nuts? Look, I may be pretty hot stuff with magic and you can swing a sharp bit of metal around, but we're talking about megapowerful beasts from the dawn of time here. Even if we had an army of sorcerers, or a bunch of heroes with legendary powers--"
"We do, though."
"Since when?"
"Since that day back at the palace, remember?" Gourry said, being remarkably fast on the uptake. "Those wing people are yours to command, that god lady said. Sooo... we've got heroes with legendary powers. Right?"
"I can't ask them to fight in this!" Lina said. "It's not our war, even! It's a Dragon and Mazoku thing--"
"Which a lot of people could get hurt in, right?" Gourry said. "So we're involved the war."
Lina eyed him suspiciously. "You know, you're taking this whole 'end of the world and we're all in horrible danger' thing remarkably well. Even I can admit this is not good news and I'm spooked. How are you managing it?"
"It's just a war," Gourry shrugged. "The Gabrievs have always fought in wars, one for every generation, so we're used to them. We're good swordspeople and stuff."
"I don't think they're going to be using swords--"
"My point is," Gourry continued, "Even if you're not going to fight in this, maybe you can organize the winged guys to help DEFEND people. That'd be a good thing to do. Then less folks have to get hurt by the time it all ends. It seems simple to me... weren't you saying you wanted something interesting to do?"
"I didn't mean a THIRD MAZOKU WAR! I just meant--"
"Maybe it's not what you meant, but it's what's happening," Gourry said nonchalantly. "So we'll just have to deal with the war, somehow. It's a nice day for it, at least. Right?"
Lina just... stared at him.
ome say that the mark of an intelligent man is that he knows his limitations. Others say that the best men have no limitations, or push beyond the ones they have. Still others claim that the finest men in history are ones whose limitations are unknown, remaining... ah, forget it. Zelgadis knew when he was licked and had no problems admitting it; he was at a loss as to how to heal this girl he had found in the caves.
His specialty was Shamanism. While it was terrific for gathering and controlling the elements, it was lousy for healing. The best he managed was to hydrate the woman, improving her health somewhat, but she was in this weird restless sleep and wouldn't come out of it. Sweat actually oozed through the cracks in her stone skin...
That was the other thing that was stumping him. She was a chimera. Probably a mix of a golem and a blue demon like he was, in fact, right down to the hard candy shell and purple hair. As far as Zelgadis knew, he was the only humanoid chimera in existence; there were some wild chimeras, strange beasts with three heads or six arms that smelled bad as a result of having no underarm deodorant, but they didn't count.
When Zelgadis snuck the girl back to his inn, he had to use his cloak as a blanket, to prevent anybody from seeing her skin. Pleasantville, the dinkwad suburban community he was hiding out in, had been a bit twitchy as of late; only recently, someone had discovered a plot inside the post office to blow up the town following a strange wave of fighting and hatred. Things were getting back to normal, but everybody stayed on their toes. The last thing they wanted to see was some monstrous chimera in their midst, even if he paid his inn bill and bought food and generally contributed to the community, which just goes to show.
He spent the night trying to work up some magic that could heal her, but didn't have what it took. That's okay. He knew someone who did, and figured she'd still be where he left her, in Sailoon. Amelia was well trained in white magic and would know what to do. Zelgadis kept the chimera girl in his room to make sure she would be okay, and slept on the floor, clocking himself to snooze exactly six hours.
He woke up four hours later.
An explosion rocked the inn, knocking things off shelves and onto him. Zelgadis woke and got alert fast, no time to dally around yawning. Stuff was happening.
He went to the window, looked out, and saw that most of Pleasantville was on fire or blown to smithereens or both, and the three dueling monsters causing the mess were coming this way. Screw walk, do not run to the nearest exit; he made his own exit with a controlled fireball, scooped up the girl, snapped a bubble around himself and flew out to safety.
If there could be safety. He could see through the smoke and haze now, as a gold Dragon battled it out with two Mazoku, from the looks of it. That was weird. (An understatement, but Zelgadis would panic later, when it was more convenient.) What on earth were they doing here?
Quickly, he flew back to the cave ruins outside town where he had originally found the girl, using them for shelter. Briefly he considered doing something against the attackers, but what could he manage? Ra-Tilt tended not to work on strong Mazoku, and you don't want to attack a Dragon. They were almost the good guys... except for the time he went into the future and they were totalitarian dictators, of course.
Besides, he didn't have time. The two Mazoku teamed up, creating a ball of darkness the size of a small mountain, and pasted the Dragon with it, smashing it -- and all of Pleasantville -- flat. An explosive haze lit up the area, and when the dust settled, a huge crater was all that remained to mark the spot. The two then raced off, moving on for some other purpose, leaving the flaming wreckage of what was once the world's nicest and most polite friendly town behind.
A few survivors were crawling out of the wreckage at the edges of the blast. Others who had fled the city only now could gape in horror at what happened. Zelgadis, eerily, didn't feel one way or the other. He'd had some bad experiences in this town, for starters. And besides, what could he do? What could any of them do after a couple big nasties came and happened to crush your town? The surviving humans seemed to mirror his thoughts, standing around, unsure of what they should be doing...
Right now, Zelgadis had a task he COULD do, he could take care of. Of course, it'd be a long, long ride back to Sailoon...
A clinking sound drew his attention.
Maybe it would have been a good idea to search the girl's pockets and pouches earlier; then he'd have spotted the rather dented and rusty Sub Way Token she carried. What on earth was the girl doing with this thing? he wondered, picking it up. From what he understood, it was a key to an ancient transportation system, that he'd only used twice to date. But with this... with this he could be in Sailoon and up to the palace in under an hour.
And for the best. The way these people were, chances were they'd take some potshots at him. He was a monster, after all, and didn't a couple of monsters just pass through here?
All over the world, the word was the same : War.
Some hadn't seen any actual action yet. Some had been a little too close and it was the last thing they saw. Nobody remembered what the last war was like, since it happened hundreds of years ago, and nobody was alive now who had been in it... at least, nobody human. Some towns armed themselves with any weapons they could find, figuring maybe they could defend their homes; usually these people had only heard of Dragons or Mazoku in children's stories. Others hired sorcerers to keep the town safe in the weeks to come, only to find these magicians had taken the money in advance and then headed for the hills, which was starting to look like the only sensible thing to do.
In actuality, although the war was becoming common knowledge at incredible speed, not very many battles were being fought. After all, this climactic struggle between good and evil had only started about eight hours ago. Mostly all you had was widespread rumors, fanatic disbelievers, panic and paranoia, no real focus, nothing to shoot at. But in remote places, away from the major cities or communication routes, you'd hear the same thing. War? What war? And sometimes : What's a Mazoku?
In the the world of dreams, the occupants had heard of Mazoku, but they hadn't heard of a war yet. Some explanation is needed as to why this is.
Everybody passes through the world of dreams while they sleep, but until recently, nobody lived there. There were originally eight occupants, but they were evicted by their landlord for not following the contract -- the Palace of Chaos, home to the original wingless (now winged again) had gone into horrible disrepair since then.
When the latest tenant arrived -- a priest by the name of Xelloss -- he was quite dismayed at the state of the palace. Most of it had fallen into shapeless matter, leaving entire wings of randomly appearing and disappearing rooms, as sleepers wandered here and there, lost and confused. But since then, he's had a week or two to tidy up, and has made a support crew of his own out of the raw dreamstuff; adorably nasty little daemons, running tasks here and there, re-wallpapering the place and generally getting the world of dreams up to code.
Despite all this efficiency, news in this place only gets updated every night, when humanity sleeps. It's gathered by the tiny daemons, who crawl inside their brains and kill them -- WAIT! That's not entirely true. Xelloss had rather harshly punished the last daemon to do that, and since then, they had stuck to the task he created them for, which was information gathering. And sneaking smoke breaks when New Nightmare, Xelloss's professional name, wasn't looking.
Right now, New Nightmare had a houseguest. The two were in Xelloss's parlor, his favorite room of the palace -- quaint, tasteful, quiet. Both were sipping tea, and engaging in the game of kings and nobility.
Xelloss slid a piece off to the left.
"Check," he announced, smiling. He always smiled. Even when he was losing.
"Uhhhh..." his guest said, not smiling. "How does the horsey thing move again?"
"Honestly, Myth-chan, you'd think you've never played chess before," Xelloss sighed.
"I haven't."
"You haven't? You've been alive since before time was time and you've never played chess?"
Myth looked sheepish. "I don't usually play games. Paradox and Drama like them, though."
"Yes, but Paradox is still angry at me over that whole nasty incident at his former home," Xelloss reminded. "And Drama takes entirely too long to plan his moves. He covers it up with speechmaking and heavy-think posing, but I think he has trouble remembering how the horsey moves as well..."
"Is this all you do up here?" Myth asked, looking around. The parlor was poorly lit, but had enough light to make out the bookshelves, pool table, tea set, and so on... "Play games and relax?"
"Oh, this is just my day job," Xelloss said. "At night I'm quite active terrorizing people and so on. I do love not requiring sleep, it makes life so much more productive... why are you looking at me like that, Myth-chan?"
Myth got slight shivers. "Could.. you not call me Myth-chan? It's just this thing, I mean..."
"Ahhh," Xelloss said, recognizing. "Still not quite over your fears of my predecessor. Don't worry, Myth. I assure you that our work together will be pleasant and beneficial to all."
"Work? But... we don't work together," Myth said.
"Ah, but don't you recognize the parallels?" Xelloss asked, sipping from his teacup. "You are the positive of stories, I am the negative. Well, I'm currently hired to be the negative, although I'm working on making it official by some means... just because Nightmare has been something of a bastard lately doesn't mean I'll be, you know."
Myth sighed. "Can I be frank?... I really don't want to work with you on anything. I know, you're not him, but.. I'm just not comfortable with this yet. I'm sorry..."
The priest-turned-rent-a-wingless thought it over, and nodded. "Quite alright, quite alright. Perhaps another time... hello, what's this?"
A tiny red daemon clawed its way up Xelloss's chair, hissing in his ear in a language Myth couldn't understand. Xelloss nodded, and flicked it away with his finger -- the daemon hit the floor and scampered away.
"Seems there's trouble brewing outside," he said, rising. "Big trouble. Three reports in of dreamers imagining the same city being burned to the ground, and two more with identical dreams of different village. I'd better go attend to these nightmares, see what I can see... perhaps a few nudges in terror here and there will yield more secrets, mmm?"
"Umm... good luck," Myth said.
"Stick around, ne," Xelloss suggested. "You might be needed. I trust my hunches, and you know what they're saying right now?..."
Myth swallowed. "What are they saying?"
"Can't say, it's a secret," Xelloss smiled, waggling a finger. He melted into darkness, one of his many new tricks, and flowed through the cracks in the palace brick, on his way to someone's dream.
Myth couldn't resist another shiver. He was so polite, and never seemed to menace, but.. she wasn't happy with this. Wasn't happy at all.
Zelgadis decided to start an exercise regimen the minute he had some free time. Assuming he'd have some free time in the foreseeable future.
The girl weighed a ton. Stone skin would do that, but the effort required to keep that much dead weight going without magic was intolerable! And he didn't have a choice, since he didn't want to approach Sailoon City by air; the last thing he wanted was a few arrows shot at him for being a flying menace, especially not after today's events. He pulled up the mask on his cloak, did his best to wrap the girl in a spare cloak, and get her through the city streets.
Bad idea, in one way; good idea in another.
The guard came right away, wondering why a mysterious masked man was dragging a limp body through the streets. Zelgadis was about ready for a fight, when he realized he could use this to his advantage.
"I've got a foreign dignitary here," he lied. "She's badly hurt, but I'm her escort to the palace. We need an audience with Princess Amelia immediately."
"Sure, pal, and I'm the Egg Hiding Day Kangaroo," the guard joked.
Zel was going to push the issue or try a few more fast-talking scams, when he realized it was more effort than it was worth. "Okay, we'll play it safe. Send a message up to the castle saying that Zelgadis needs to see the princess, and it's an emergency. Let HER decide."
The guard was about to turn Zel away again, but looked up at the lovely weather, and gave a shrug. "What the hell, it's a slow day. NORD!"
The runner was off. Zelgadis waited, and assembled the day's events while he had the chance.
First of all, he got to see some Dragons and Mazoku tangling in public, in a really violently obvious way. That wasn't the way they worked, to his knowledge; more often they were attacking.. well, him and Lina's groupies, but that didn't count. Second, here he had this chimera woman who had a Sub Way Token that hadn't seen use in a long time and had told him... what were the words again? Something about needing to find some wings. And there was that strange cave painting he dreamed of seeing, where a chained goddess turned chimeras into humans... waaait, there's a connection he didn't think of before. If there was an entrance to a series of caves below that painting, and he found this chimera in the caves...
The runner returned, sweaty and exhausted, and Zelgadis was escorted quickly into the castle. He'd have to finish that line of thought later.
Lina wasn't the least bit worried about being shot down on her approach to the palace. By now, the tower guards were used to seeing her fly around. She got over the embarrassment of showing off those wings a long time ago; they felt natural to her now, and if anybody stared, she could stare right back -- harder.
Gourry kept his eyes closed the whole way to the castle, trying to ignore the impossibly thin bubble of magic that was the sole thing between himself and a short, sharp demise hundreds of feet down...
"Are we there yet?" Gourry asked.
"We're safe, scaredycat," Lina said, letting the spell go, and dropping Gourry gently on to the bed in her room. Gourry opened his eyes, saw a floor, and felt much relief.
"Head to your room and pack up all your stuff," Lina said, grabbing her own travel bag. "Once we tell Amelia what's up and get word to Xelloss with orders for the winged, we're OUT of here."
"Why? Aren't we going to help them with the war?" Gourry asked.
Lina groaned. "How many times must I explain this? We can't DO anything. Maybe you could smack down a few Mazoku with your sword, and if I really drain myself each day I could also do some fighting, but chances are pretty high we'd just end up a thin paste across the landscape if we tried. The winged have enough power, let them handle it."
Gourry frowned. "It's not right to run away when people are in danger, Lina. And since when are you afraid of danger?"
"Danger? Never. Spectacularly gory demise? Quite often," Lina said. "And if that makes me a yellow bellied coward, then just call me Lemon Inverse."
"Auntie always said lemons weren't proper for good girls," Gourry said.
Lina paused.
"I don't get it. Did she say why?"
"Uh... no. I never understood it either."
apers sat on papers on top of papers next to papers beside stacks of papers which were organized into clumps of papers that were starting to spill onto the floor.
But Dayvid insisted that this new method of office communication was going to be more efficient than messengers... once he got the system working. He'd been laying 'Noo-Matic' tubes all over the castle, and soon the THUNK! sound of a message shooting through the tube was becoming as common a sound as the BLAM! sound of one of those tubes exploding. Sailoon was moving into the modern age, whether it wanted to or not.
Right now, Dayvid and Amelia were plowing through the daily load of messages, trying to approach them in a sensible, organized manner.
"Okay, from the Old Business pile..." Dayvid said, pulling a random paper from the peat-moss compressed layers of back work. "The roofing on the royal guardhouse is starting to leak."
"Really?" Amelia asked. "I heard the other day from Ms. Madigan that the roof had collapsed a week ago."
Dayvid scanned the header again. "Oh. This was dated from... two weeks ago. Don't worry, I'll put a request for a request to gather appraisals from new builders onto the New Business stack. Now, as for--"
The doors burst open, and the Royal Trumpeter blasted three shrill almost melodic notes. Amelia covered her ears in pain.
"Announcinge visitores fore your royal majesty!!" the trumpeter screamed, since he was almost deaf. "Lina Inverse ande Gourry Gabriev!"
"Can we go in now?" Lina asked.
"Now you can," the trumpeter confirmed, taking leave to go announce other comings and goings in the palace.
"Hieee!!!" Amelia cheered, running over to them and knocking over six piles of carefully organized work in the process. She glomped Lina into a big 'ol hug!
Lina's spine bent.
"It's good to see you!" Amelia smiled. "I hear you've been defeating bandits in Sailoon. That's the spirit, Lina! Through the power of justice, we will make this world safe from danger!"
"Ano, I think she's not supposed to be blue," Gourry said, pointing to Lina.
"Hmm? Oh, sorry!" Amelia apologized, letting Lina go. She bounced back to her desk, and had a seat; her princessly tiara being the only thing visible over the In Box. "So! What brings you back?"
"War," Lina choked, pounding on her chest a few times. "The Third Mazoku war is on and this whole region's going to turn into melted slag in a day or three."
"Oh, that's New Business," Amelia said. "First we have to do Old Business. You need to go through the proper channels. Don't worry, we'll be done with the current requests in a day or three!"
Dayvid, who had a better grasp on the situation, went white. "Uh. Um. War? As in, like, the historically bad big war?"
"The same," Lina said.
"Now now, it's very important that we follow our new system of organization," Amelia interrupted. "Dayvid's very proud of it and I'm sure it'll be beneficial for everybody, as it was crafted with love of the people and therefore can never go--"
A fireball incinerated all the paper on the desk.
Lina lowered a smoking hand. "HELL-OOoo!! Amelia! Wake up and smell the apocalypse! We're talking about a global event here!"
Realizing the princess could possibly explode any second now, the way she was staring at the melted remains of her desk, Dayvid jumped to the rescue. "If she's right, Amelia, this is bad stuff. Um . The rest can wait and I don't think it'll lower efficiency by that much. Okay?"
"Oh, okay," Amelia said, going right back to cheerful. "If it's okay with you. So, what kind of a war is this?"
Lina explained.
"AAAAA!!!" was Amelia's response. "THAT war?! The Mazoku and Dragons are gonna fight and try to destroy the world?? When did this happen? Why wasn't I notified?"
"I.. think I saw something like that in the New Business pile," Dayvid admitted. "Erm. I think I'll redraft the standard operating procedures. Later. Much later."
"We're doomed! We're doomed!" Amelia ranted, waving her arms in a blur. "The end is nigh! It's all--"
"AMELIA!" Lina shouted.
"...yes?"
"I've got a plan," she said, quietly, calmly. "At least, an inkling of a plan. Can we borrow the Great Hall for a war council? You can help out... ah! Perhaps... (ugh) the spirit of love and justice can overcome this horrible situation! Yes, Amelia, you indeed can help lead the charge against evil, and together, we will WIN!"
"RIGHT!" Amelia cheered, standing on the ruins of her desk so she'd have a better position to make a speech from. "Together we'll defeat the dark menace that rises before us, and bring love and joy to all of humanity! Evil dare not stand before us, for the vengeance of heaven is--"
"Anyway," Lina said, coming back to planet reality, "We'll just nip off to the hall and get things organized--"
The proceedings were interrupted by another series of noises like a cat stuffed into a trombone.
"Announcinge visitores fore your royal majesty!!" the royal announcer repeated, having returned to the scene of the crime. "Zelgadis Greyweirs, andde friende!"
"Hi," Zel greeted truncatedly, wandering in with a girl draped over his shoulder. He shoved stacks of papers off a nearby table and onto the floor, then finally got to relieve his burden by lying his friende down.
"Uh.. hi," Lina said, watching. "Long time no see... who's that? What are you doing here? How are you? And, um, how's it been?"
"I don't know, I need Amelia's magic, fine considering I had to run from a few Mazoku, and it's been rotten," Zelgadis counted off. "Any more dumb questions or can we begin? I just had to carry this person across several thousand miles and deal with snotty gate guards, so I'd like to get to business."
"Boy, Zel hasn't changed a bit," Gourry commented to Lina.
Amelia got up, and examined Zel's new find. "Ano! She's a chimera like you! Wow! That's really neat!"
"She's also pretty near death, from what I can tell," Zelgadis noted calmly. He'd had a while to get used to the idea. "Can you do anything?"
Amelia spread some white power over her hand, and swept it above the woman, concentrating... "I think I can. It's just a fever disease. It'll take a little while..."
"I'm in no rush," Zelgadis shrugged.
"The third Mazoku war's on," Lina decided to interject.
"I'm in a rush," Zelgadis stated. "I'll wait here and then split when you're done."
"Meanwhile, I've got a war room to make in the next five minutes and some troops to summon," Lina said. "I'll be in the Great Hall if anybody needs me. C'mon, Gourry. Zel, remind me to fill you in on our recent madness. Interesting stuff."
"I'll be too busy seeking cover, but thanks for the offer," Zelgadis said nonchalantly.
"With her?" Lina asked, gesturing to the chimera...
"'course," Zelgadis said. "Unless she slows me down, or something.. you know."
Lina found Xelloss tying small spiders onto a string.
She wasn't used to the topography of the world of dreams yet. Fortunately, Giga's Dream could be tuned to land you right near the person you wanted to find... a trick Xelloss had found. Or rather, instantly come up with, as if he had designed the spell himself. Lina had some sneaking suspicions, but whenever she tried to ask him... well, the answer was to be as expected.
"Ah, Lina," Xelloss smiled, tying off the string onto a stick. "Hang around, I'm just crafting a small nightmare here. Only take a second."
Below them, in a stone room with no windows and no doors, sat some poor dreamer... terrified and alone. Xelloss didn't seem to mind, whistling cheerfully as he puppeted the spiders, dangling them into the room-dream and plopping them right on the man's head. There was plenty of frantic screaming and slamming against the walls, trying to get the spiders off.... then the man awoke, and the dream-room vanished.
"Foo," Xelloss almost frowned. "He always does that. Here I am trying to explain the symbolism of his parental fears through the eight legged creatures they kept around the house and he refuses to face that. Oh well, perhaps tomorrow night. Now, how can I help you?"
"...interesting work," Lina said, unsettled. She tore her attention away from the puppets, which Xelloss was now putting away, and back to matters at hand. "We've got trouble. The--"
"Third Mazoku War, yes, I know," Xelloss smiled. "It's going to be quite an interesting time in the world for the next few years. I'll have my work cut out for me, being the New Nightmare, and all."
"Wha.. how'd you--"
"That is a secret."
"No, nevermind," Lina said. "I don't NEED to know how you know. So now you know. You know?"
"Oh, I know."
"We've got to do something about this," Lina said. "It's only a few hours old and already there's probably a bloodbath out there. Summon the winged, bring them to the Great Hall at Sailoon... um. You're not going to have a problem with us turning on your.. former employers, are you?"
"Why would I?" Xelloss asked, dusting off his hands. "I'm human now. I signed off on my last job. I want to help you, Lina. I'd like to prove to be of great assistance to you, an invaluable resource, working together on such things..."
"And why is that?" Lina asked, looking suspiciously at him.
"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," he grinned.
Lina swallowed that.
"I think you should stick to 'That is a secret,'" Lina suggested. "That one's a bit too... morbid."
"As you like it," Xelloss bowed.
Zelgadis paced impatiently, pretending to examine the decor of the state room.
"How much longer?" he asked for the second time.
"Almost done..." Amelia mumbled, through a magical haze. Light flowed gently from the table, as Amelia worked a complex healing spell.
"Lina was serious, wasn't she?" Zelgadis asked. "About another war. I saw some Mazoku beat down a Dragon on my way over."
"Mmhmm," Amelia agreed, working.
"I'd rather they have waited another few hundred years," Zelgadis grumbled. "Or better yet, just not had another war. It seems so... stupid that it'd be starting now. And why is Lina organizing an army?"
"There!" Amelia smiled, stepping away from her spell. "She'll recover in awhile. Oh... didn't you know? Lina's apparently got some kind of Knighthood from the Lord of Nightmares. She--"
"What?" Zelgadis interrupted -- a pang of familiarity in those words..
"She's the Knight of the Lord of Nightmares now after that last quest she did to gather the wingless," Amelia summarized. "I guess she figures this is part of the job."
...three things, the keys, the spokes, the pillars of white, black and grey in the middle, beings on top of each...
"When did this happen??" Zelgadis asked.
"Not too long ago," Amelia noted. "Maybe a week or--"
The woman on the table sat bolt upright, coming out of a deep sleep in a big way. "AAH!.. I have.. I have to... where am I? What's going on?"
"Take it easy, mou," Amelia soothed. "You caught a fever. We just healed you. You still need rest, though--"
"I'm Above, aren't I?" she asked, looking at Amelia. "You're a human! What am I doing Above?"
"I found you... Below, and you were sick," Zelgadis said. "So I brought you to a friend. Who are you, anyway?"
The chimera ignored Zelgadis's question, looking around. "Is the Knight here? Have the winds of chaos blown in fortunate ways and brought me to her, despite all hardships?"
"Who, Lina? She's downstairs in the Great Hall," Amelia said without thinking.
The woman didn't bother with saying goodbye; she was up and out the door in the blink of an eye.
Myth was busy trying to practice her storytelling skills in front of a crowd of daemons when Xelloss notified her. She took the news of the new war just as Xelloss suspected she might; she fainted.
Luck had a good craps game going back at her casino, and the house stakes were at sixty million gold. All breaths were held as she made the next roll... and Xelloss appeared from nowhere to let Luck know what was going on. She missed the throw and put the entire casino into the poorhouse, except for those large bags of gold that happened to fall off an oxcart a few minutes later.
Drama was busy getting fitted for a new suit of armor, since he felt his previous one lacked an important, highly masculine feature that no dramatic warrior should be without; nipples. The codpiece was also too small. He vowed to pick up the armor when finished with whatever nonsense Xelloss was dragging him into.
Love and Loathing were busy doing some spring cleaning around Aunt Koirry's house. Love had been trying to improve Loathing's self esteem and outlook on the world by immersing him in a good, healthy family situation... the Gabrievs took to him easily, but he still had some distance to go. Burning down the town hall wasn't a good sign. Love was relieved to see Xelloss, as perhaps a little sibling bonding could be done during the adventure.
Paradox was in the bathroom with his robes around his ankles when Xelloss came knocking. Actually, Xel planned that.
Reason was busy giving a lecture to a group of students at Sailoon's only university about the theory of numeric magical matrix transformation. They were soaking it up too slow for her tastes. In quiet frustration, she whipped out the chalk, solved the three blackboard wide equation and left them to sort it out when she left with Xelloss.
Chaos, or at least Lina Inverse, was busy trying to arrange eight chairs around the great table in a way that would suit a war planning council.
"I thought these sorts of tables were supposed to be octagonal, like those knights met at in the stories," Lina said. "This one's just... rectangular. And too damn long. We'll strain our necks trying to look at each other."
"War causes a lot of inconveniences," Gourry said, proud that he was able to use that big word.
"How do you know so much about war?" Lina asked.
"Well, every generation--"
"I mean YOU, personally."
"My uncles talk about it a lot. Dad, too," Gourry said. "He was a brilliant tactic guy in the last war Testabourne had. But when he came back, he talked a lot louder and longer than usual and made less sense. Mom told me what went wrong, but I don't understand how seashells can shock you."
"You do know that in war people get killed in really painful ways, right?" Lina asked.
"Sure. That's war," Gourry smiled.
"Then how can you SMILE about it?!"
"Gabrievs always survive wars," Gourry said. "We're really good at fighting them. It's in the jeans."
"You mean genes," Lina said, remembering the word from one of the many boring papers she had browsed through in Dayvid's lab.
"No, jeans. See, it's an old saying, that the ability of a man's fighting is related to the size of his--"
A glowing portal opened from the world of dreams, and the procession entered, right on cue.
"Hello! We're here to kick ass!" Xelloss cheered, waving a little white flag he had taken from the dreaming that read GO TEAM GO. He also had a giant foam hand with one finger raised and a #1 printed. Lina had absolutely no idea what logical purpose it served.
The other winged filed out; already the usual sibling arguments had started, as they started to fetch chairs from Lina's hastily arranged war council. But clearly, Lina's presence had some effect; when she cleared her throat to begin, everybody got quiet. Eerie, she thought.
"As Xelloss probably told you, the unthinkably bad happened. The Mazoku declared war today," Lina said. "We're not going to be involved in the fighting, but we should defend as many humans as we can. You guys have Talents you can use that are probably pretty useful against Dragons and Mazoku, so... use 'em however you think would work best to keep the most people from harm. That's all. Good luck."
The group sat in silence.
"Shoo! Shoo! Go defend," Lina said.
"Umm.. that's not how war councils work," Gourry whispered to Lina. "You need to direct them."
"What do I know about directing an army?" Lina asked aloud.
"Weeeellll..." Gourry said, thinking with visible effort. "Anybody got a map?"
Paradox snapped his fingers and stole one from a mapmaker in Darata.
"Thanks," Gourry smiled, and started pointing to spots on the map. "Now, our best bet is to cover the largest cities. That way we can cover the most ground, since urban centers have the highest concentration of population. Plus, if we shoot for capitals or important trade cities, the people in the rural areas and villages can flock there for evacuation and shelter. Then, we can maximize the number of people under protection while minimizing the area we need to cover. Sailoon City can hold a lot more refugees and in a state of emergency, more room can be made; we should have Amelia and Dayvid work the details, but given the large task, Reason probably should help. That okay?"
"I'm on it," Reason said, starting to process the theoretical numbers involved while Lina was unable to lift her jaw from the table.
"Luck, hmm... you should probably just pick a city at random. Knowing you that'll take you right where you need to go."
"I'll goooo........ here!" Luck said, stabbing randomly at the map.
"That's over the ocean," Gourry said.
"It feels lucky," the blonde bubbled. "I'll take it anyway!"
"I guess you'd know best, then... Aunt Koirry, you should probably handle Testabourne, since you're well known there and with my family's support can easily gather the people together in New Piper's Cove," Gourry continued. "You probably should take Loathing with you, since it's like you guys work in a team. Now, I don't know much of the geography aside from that, but I've got a few ideas... Justivalero could probably benefit from Drama, from what I know... Paradox, you've got a lot of power, so if you could take on several of the smaller cities, things would be less overloaded. How's that with you guys?"
"I will defend Justivalero with all the valor and courage of the most glorious nights!" Drama announced. "With noble steed and sword by my side, as well as a healthy knowledge of the arts, white, black or otherwise, we shall drive back all invaders!"
"Who needs all that?" Paradox said, swiping Drama's thunder. "Encase a city in a bubble of hard reality, boom, nothing gets in. I could manage three... heck, FOUR. And probably protect more folks than Drama could manage with his stupid pointy metal thing..."
"Is that so?" Drama said icily. "I'll have you know--"
"Moving on," Gourry continued, "The war likely will move around a lot, so if you feel you should shift focus to a new city that's coming under attack, check in first. If it's an emergency situation, you can skip the chain of command. Myth... I'm not sure what you can do for defending, but if you think of anything, go for it. Otherwise, I'd say we should attach you to our recon division. Xelloss, you have access to the world of dreams and can see a lot of stuff through it, so you and Myth should probably handle all lines of communication between the others as well as keeping us appraised of new events. Maybe if you checked in every night when we're asleep and did an update session, it would work well."
Xelloss was terribly amused by Gourry's antics. "Certainly, sir," he said, snapping off a sharp salute. "Forward the war effort! Seig Lina! Long live Big Sister!"
"Uhh... work with..?" Myth asked.
"Unless you have a better idea," Gourry said. "And if you do get one later, feel free to implement it after checking with Lina, since she's the commanding officer in the war. Right, Lina?"
"Geh?" Lina asked, after a long pause. She felt... bewildered. "Wha? Who? Commanding what?"
"Your troops, of course," Gourry said. "They'll need your leadership in the field."
"Nobody said anything about being in the field," Lina reminded. "I'm only mortal here, you know?"
"So are we," Love noted.
"Yeah, but... I mean, what can I do?"
"You've got the Giga Slave," Reason reminded her, entering the conversation.
Lina pulled at her hair. "Are you nuts?! I can't control it!"
"Maybe you can now, with your new powers."
"I don't HAVE any new powers!"
"Maybe you just haven't recognized them yet," Reason reasoned.
"Fine, fine! I'll.. find something I can do and do it. But I think Gourry's plans for the rest of you are fine... um. Good work, Gourry. So, are we ready to do this?"
"No time like the present," Xelloss stated.
"At least this time, we've got a pretty clear mission to accomplish," Lina smiled. "Trust me guys, that's better than I usually manage. We have to save the world, of course, but we've got a plan to save it. Now, barring any wild, unforeseen problems popping up at the last--"
As if the crazed pace of the discussion wasn't crazed enough, the doors flew open and in walked a chimera. Except it wasn't the one Lina was used to seeing.
"Which one of you is the Knight?" she asked, scanning the group.
Xelloss helpfully held up a large blinking arrow-shaped sign over Lina's head reading "KNIGHT".
Lina looked up. "Don't make me regret giving you your job, Xel."
"Sorry, sorry, I just get a bit carried away," Xelloss smirked, compressing the sign back into raw dreamstuff and shoving it deep into his pockets.
Amelia and Zelgadis came skidding around the corner, looking through the doors for their prey. Spotting her, they ran in, trying to talk some sense into the woman.
"Ne, you need to rest!" Amelia said, tugging on her arm.
"She's busy," Zelgadis pointed out. "Whatever it is can wait."
The woman ignored them, and continued to approach Lina anyway, dragging Amelia along. "The Hi'Chi'Orld require your talents in locating the Most Important Things In The World, Knight. Will you accompany me?"
The room fell into an awkward silence.
"Umm..." Lina said, breaking the tension. "Ten minute recess, guys. Maybe I'd better attend to this."
A small group gathered outside of the Impromptu War Room.
"No, not happening, forget it," Lina said. "I don't have time for a quest. I've already got a rather clear agenda that could occupy the next few years of my life! I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I'm busy trying to run a war here. So if you don't mind--"
"The clasps have been stolen from my tribe," the woman said. "Our elder, Chi'Leas, has sent me to find the one human who could possibly help us find them, the Knight of Chaos. Without you, all is lost!"
"That's very poetic, but it doesn't change the fact that this country is going to be assaulted tomorrow," Lina said. "Maybe after we take care of this, assuming we're all still alive, I'll look into whatever it is that you're going on about. Fair?"
Having taken it onto himself to participate in the discussion without actually being asked to join them, Xelloss cleared his throat.
"Now now, Lina, you're making a snap judgment," he warned.
"Xelloss, we--"
"What exactly is this a quest for again, miss? And your name, please?" he continued, ignoring Lina.
"We must locate one of the Most Important Things In The World, embodied in a pair of golden wrist clasps that my tribe once held. They are part of the ultimate power over all powers. My name is Chi'Nai, Priestess of the Lord of Chaos," the woman stated.
"See, Lina? Very Important, it seems," Xelloss said. "It's even in the name of the thing. At least they didn't try to drape whatever it was in The Mystic or The Legendary or so on. Very direct, very honest, mm?"
"We don't have TIME for this!" Lina protested.
"Stolen, you say?" Xelloss asked, opting to ignore the sorceress again. "Does the perpetrator have a name? What does he look like?"
"They were taken by a human with the name of Luna," Chi'Nai said.
Lina's eyes went wide. "Big sister?!!"
The chimera studied Lina for a moment. "I can see the resemblance... a woman claiming to be named Luna Inverse came as a stranger to our caves, weeks ago. She was malnourished and suffering the effects of a long journey Below, and being good hosts we helped her back to health. However, despite weeks of friendship, she must have tricked one of ours into helping her steal the clasps from my father... I fear I do not have enough time for explanations. We have to hurry. The elder priest can explain more than me, but if we don't make the journey, all will be lost!"
"What did this Luna look like...?" Xelloss asked.
Lina sighed. "Purple hair, huge bust, waitress uniform, smiles a lot."
"What?" Chi'Nai asked. "No, she had black hair."
"Did she happen to have a small, diagonally angled scar on her left cheek?" Xelloss asked specifically, tracing the mark with his finger, at an exact length.
The chimera nodded in confirmation.
"Hmm. Very well! I see no other alternative. Better pack your bags, Miss Inverse, you're going on a little quest," Xelloss nodded.
Lina bonked him over the head with a conveniently handy marble bust of Prince Phil.
"I am NOT going on a quest!!" she shouted. "I don't know this person from... from someone I don't know at all! This is way too sudden, too stupid and I--"
"I neglected to mention," Xelloss said, rising and continuing along as if he didn't have a huge bump on his head, "But there's something very, very important about this war that you have overlooked, Lina Inverse." His eyes were even open.
Lina recognized one of the few times the trickster Got Serious. "And what's that?"
"The Mazoku are crippled," Xelloss stated. "Two of the lords are dead and they do not have the demon king to lead them. To start a war now would be absurdly suicidal, and yet, they have. The Mazoku are not absurdly suicidal -- suicidal, perhaps, but with more intelligence than you might suspect."
"Yes yes, strange. Now, what does that have to do with Lun--"
"Which means, logically, that they MUST know of a hidden power that will tip the balance in their favor despite the handicap," Xelloss concluded. "Something making them so assured of victory as to start a hopeless war. Something calling itself the Most Important Thing In The World, say.... which seems to have recently been stolen by the Knight of Shaburanigdo, according to our new friend here?"
Lina paused.
"Xel, I don't know where you're getting your information, but my sister's the Knight of Ceipheed, not the Knight of Shaburanigdo," Lina told him.
"I've met the left hand of darkness once before," Xelloss said. "Black hair, scarred, as described. Also, I know that she tends to enjoy using your sister's name as an alias just to besmirch her opponent's record. She rarely does anything that we know about, since she works outside the main Mazoku hierarchy... but if she's interested in Chi'Nai's family heirloom, odds are the Mazoku are too. And likely that's why they've started this war. If we just sit on the side ignoring this report and put cute little umbrellas over the humans, we'll keep them alive for a few months or years, likely. But then it would all end."
"Everything changes," Chi'Nai said, a plain tone of doom in her voice. "The end is the beginning and the beginning is the end. That's the prophecy of the Most Important Things In The World."
"Ah... I see!" Lina smiled. "In that case..."
She clobbered Xelloss again with the statue.
"Why didn't you tell me this IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!"
"...because it wouldn't be dramatic enough?" Xelloss grinned weakly, a second bump appearing next to his first.
"It's all conjecture, anyway," Lina said, tossing the bust aside. "Some crazy comes out of left field shouting about some Important Thing and you immediately assume--"
"Know, Lina. Give me some credit for knowing my former inferior superiors."
"KNOW, then, that the Mazoku already have it and are holding a WAR with it?" Lina asked, through clenched teeth.
"Already have it?... oh, of course not!" Xelloss said, aghast.
"That's better. If--"
"If they already had it, we would not be breathing right now," Xelloss said. "You misunderstand. Correct me if I'm wrong, miss, but this is only one of those 'Important Things'. Yes?"
Chi'Nai nodded. "A single part to the whole."
"That means the Knight of Shaburanigdo will be looking for the rest. It would have to be war-winning in order to be worth this mania, something that inspires such confidence in the Mazoku as to let them start early. And likely, they're calling the war early as a distraction to keep the Dragons occupied; keeping them from noticing a single human via extreme measures. It sounds like the kind of overblown gesture they're famous for... I suppose you play along with this ridiculous deception, but really, Lina, you have to learn how to depend on your advisors if you're going to be winning a war -- especially ex-Mazoku advisors."
Lina's head was figuratively spinning from the implications. "But--"
"I realize the timing is bad, but that's exactly why it's happening, so that nobody will look away from the war... including you. But if you DO hang around and help the winged fight the war," Xelloss noted, "You could be killed. And with no leader, regardless of how clever or resourceful these nice people are, they will be demoralized. Given that I can keep communication and direction open from any location in the world, wouldn't it be better for you and Gourry to head off and investigate this while the others go into battle...?"
Lina stared at him.
"Just tell me in very, very simple words, Xelloss. What makes you so sure that all of this hokum is true?" Lina asked, quietly.
"Ah..." Xelloss said, waving a finger in front of Lina. "That is a secret."
Lina punted him down the hall, then turned to Chi'Nai. "Assuming that my communications officer isn't on drugs and that this wouldn't be a glorious waste of time, how fast do you think we could take care of this and get back?"
"As fast as chaos itself wills it," Chi'Nai promised.
Sighing, she felt defeated. "Fine. We'll just waltz away and go on some ridiculous quest at the worst possible time. I guess it's my life's calling..."
"Yes," Chi'Nai said truthfully. "It is."
The War Room was dripping with sibling rivalry when Lina entered again. Someone had started up a betting pool on who would be more successful in the war campaign, Drama or Paradox, and the pot was up to sixty five million gold when Lina broke it up.
"Change of plans," Lina said, laying on the ultra mega compressed summary of the day's events. "You guys fight the war, I'll direct through Xelloss, Gourry and I are going on a quest which could possibly involve wild geese. Any objections? Not that it'll change anything, but I would like to make sure we're all cool with this."
Nobody reacted as badly as Lina was expecting.
"We'll be fine," Love said, smiling softly as she played the reassuring role. "I'm sure whatever it is is quite important to merit the decision. There'll be a world for you to come back to when you're done, we guarantee. Right, guys?"
Nodding went all around the table.
"I don't care where you're going, I'm coming with you two," Zelgadis said. "I've got unfinished research to do."
"I wish we had more time for explanations, but I don't actually know how to explain it myself," Lina explained. "I'd advise you guys to take the Sub Ways to your respective assignments as Gourry laid out. Leave right now; the war's going to spread fast. Myth can ferry you if you don't have a Token. Check in with Xelloss each night when you're dreaming and don't leave any details out. Good luck, people."
"Good luck to you too, Lina-sama!" Luck cheered. "Good luck to everybody! Except Paradox."
Paradox's chair picked that moment to come apart, the ancient glue drying up completely.
"HEY!" he shouted from the floor.
The winged filed out quickly and orderly, chatting and arguing as usual, heading off to the stone circle of the Sub Ways just outside of the city. Gourry went back to their rooms to pack, Zelgadis immediately started interrogating the underintroduced Chi'Nai about some kind of cave painting... but two people stayed behind.
"Umm... Lina?"
Lina looked away from the battle planning map. "Yeah?"
Myth seemed nervous, approaching her. "I didn't want to tell you this, because... well, it's not good to tamper with stories, but I thought you might want to know..."
The bardess showed Lina the book she was carrying. It was titled 'Lina Inverse and the End of Everything.'
"...a work in progress," Myth added.
"That's.. the story I'm in right now, isn't it?" Lina asked, getting that sinking feeling.
"Yeah, but.. keep in mind titles aren't... I mean, they're..." Myth tried to cover. "Look, I'm.. I'm a bit scared by all this. Maybe I shouldn't have shown this to you, I don't want you to be scared too, but... I had to show SOMEBODY."
Lina paused, trying to think of the best way to help Myth.
"I'm not scared," Lina decided.
"You aren't?"
"No," Lina said. "Because I don't have time to be scared. This is how my life works, Myth; one insanely weird experience after another, with little breathing room and almost no time to pause and panic about what might come next."
"So.. how do you deal with it?" Myth asked.
"Oh, that's simple. You enjoy any food and fun you can get along the way, make sure you're around friends, and if you survive it all you can relax in an inn and reflect on how well it turned out."
"But.. what if you don't survive it all?"
"Then you don't need to worry about it anymore, do you?" Lina asked, grinning. "There. Little home spun heroine philosophy for your book. You should also talk to Xelloss. He's probably got his own ways of staying happy, considering how much the bastard smiles. Even when he's being beaten severely."
"I don't.. I'm not all that comfortable with him yet."
"You don't have to worry about him. Sure, he's backstabbed us in the past, but I've got a hook on him now," Lina said.
"A hook?"
"A long time ago, I made him promise to leave if I asked him to. Haven't cashed that in yet, but I'm sure he'll adhere to it if I use it. And besides, he's mellowed out a bit," Lina said. "Helps that he's not working for the opposition anymore."
"Unless he is," Myth said.
Lina paused.
"Whad'ya mean?"
"Uh.. nothing, just... I mean, it's an old plot device," Myth said, hesitant to explain. "Double agents. A staple of a mystery story. I've written a few of them. Umm... but he's not following any of those gags, right? Not doing anything strange like suggesting you take unexpected risks or be sidetracked, right? Or withholding information, or telling you big long explanations to make you do things you wouldn't... Right?"
"...right," Lina said. "I think I'd better go check on Gourry. Excuse."
azoku have standard operating procedures, and one of them says that if you're going to assassinate someone, the best time to do it is at midnight. It's symbolic of the death of a day, the darkest pitch of night, the end of hours and of lives.
That's why Bugger had taken to sleeping during the day and really, really watching his back around the twelve chimes. He wasn't stupid and if he was going to survive, he'd have to imagine what he'd do if he wanted to hunt himself down -- then go opposite that.
The worst case scenario had happened -- of course it did, bugger it all, of course it did. Naturally, Zelas-Metallum heard from SOMEWHERE that he was working with a Dragon and that he failed to stop Lina. He did the task Luna demanded, so she wouldn't have told; Dragons and their human pets are honorable, if nothing else. So who told her? Nobody KNEW! Nobody except the folks in Lina's crew... and the only one of them who even knew how to contact Beastmaster was Xelloss. The little piece of trash was probably a double agent. Wouldn't it just figure?
But where to throw the blame didn't matter, not when you're running for your life. Despite the war, which Bugger was also quite non-thrilled to hear about, they had plenty of time and resources to keep hunting him down. Tonight they had sent an expert assassin after him.
The slithering blue lizard's head extended from the confines of his black robe, the magical crossbow aimed right at Bugger's heart. Naturally, Bugger had jumped into a dead end alley in the chase -- wouldn't you just KNOW it?
"Time'sssss up, Bugger," the Mazoku lackey hissed. "Nobody crosssssesssss the Beassssstmasssssster. Esssspecially not sssome two-bit lesssssser Mazoku like you."
Bugger started to inch his hand towards the pocket on his overcoat... the crossbow shifted and pumped a razor sharp arrow into his arm, severing it before he could reach his dirt stocks. He grimaced in pain, but tried not to show it.
"No goodbyesss," the lizard said, retargeting and firing.
The arrow melted, hitting a disc of white magic, the two canceling each other out. Before the lizard could react, a similar disc slashed him in half, top to bottom, and he vanished into a puff of moist air.
Relieved, Bugger allowed himself a moment to have a spark of hope that things were now officially looking up. Until he did look up, and see who had saved him.
A waitress looks pretty out of place hovering in the air, surrounded by a flaming white magical aura. Unless you know why.
"Oh, bugger," Bugger cursed.
"Hiya," Luna Inverse said, landing and smiling most maliciously at him.
"If you're here to whack me, gel, just know that I can reach into my pocket with my other arm before you..." Bugger said, attempting to, and being unable to do so. "Well... I can bite your legs off, then. See that I don't."
"Whack you?" Luna asked, surprised. "Naw."
"What is it this time, then? Haven't you wrecked my career enough? I'm a rogue Mazoku thanks to you!"
"Good," Luna said. "Work fer me."
The Mazoku glared evil flaming horrible nasty badness at her.
"Oh, gee, bang up job you did improving my life LAST time I worked for you," he said. He picked up his severed arm, remembering it, and used some black healing to re-attach it. "I hope you'll forgive me if I ask that you kiss my ass, Knight of Ceipheed."
"What else are you going to do?" a voice asked, from behind him. A female voice...
Bugger whirled around, looking at the figure, who was leaning against a wall, arms crossed. One of her wings was white and fluffy, the other leathery and batlike.
"Angela," he recognized.
"I'm in the same position. A fallen Dragon," Angela sighed. "Although I'm not sure where a Mazoku can fall from, frankly. Nowhere to go but up, I'd suspect."
"Who cares? At least the Dragons aren't trying to kill you," Bugger said, glancing at Luna. "Got you working for their little human friend, too."
"Screw 'em," Luna politely said.
"What my understated forced colleague means is that neither of us are working for the Dragons anymore," Angela explained. "They had... a falling out, so to speak. She works for Ceipheed only. And we're on a quest, although she refuses to tell me exactly what it's for..."
"Tellya now," Luna said, grinning. "Gotta team now."
"Good for you," Bugger scowled. "Lah dee dah. So what's the deal? MAYBE, and that's a damn big maybe, I'll tag along for kicks if it's interesting."
"Simple. Gonna end everything," Luna said quietly. "Ceipheed's orders."
He had to admit. It had potential. But...
"Why's the Knight of Ceipheed planning to destroy the world?" Bugger asked. "That's our.. that was.. it's the Mazoku's job, not the Dragon's."
"Not gonna destroy. End," Luna said. "Everything changes."
"I don't quite understand," Angela remarked. She considered her situation. "But I guess it doesn't matter. Whatever."
Bugger glanced askew at the Dragon. "Gee, you seem happy to be on the job."
"What choice do I have?" Angela asked. "I have nothing left in life. All my power and glory are gone. Luna's the only one who's interested in my skills or even my continued existence. I'll go along with it."
"Now you're starting to sound like me. I don't like that. I'm me, not you. So who cares about Luna? You could slum around, like I'm doing..."
"Be safe with us," Luna reminded him. "Safety 'n numbers."
"Something tells me you two aren't going to be 'safe' to be around in any respectable definition of the word," Bugger said. Everything about this smelled. Luna was being tightlipped about it, and even if she did save his ass from assassination a moment ago...
He glanced over at Angela, and winced. Some days, he knew, you just LOSE.
"Fine, fine," he said. "I'll tag. Just fer a little while, you understand. We'll see what happens after that, right?"
"Right," Luna smirked.
"So who we goin' up against? Presumably there's some conflict 'ere," Bugger said. "Otherwise you wouldn't need to recruit muscle like me."
"Just the Knight of Shaburanigdo," Luna said.
Bugger's heart would have sunk, if he had one. Didn't it just figure?
Somewhere far away, it was also near midnight. But here, the moonlight touched nothing. Night is eternal in the cave kingdoms Below. The few dwellers down here either were carnivorous and simple minded, sleeping whenever they felt like it, or organized and adhering to a standard 'sleeptime' that could almost be called night.
She wasn't sleeping, however. The last thing she needed were a few of those simple minded carnivores looking at her and the chimera brat snoozing away and thinking 'Yum! Dinner!'. Besides, she had a meeting to keep, and she liked to be punctual. Very punctual.
In fact, the internal clock-spell she had kept running since she first learned magic was approaching the midnight hour. She timed the words of her spell, so that the astral projection would arrive at its destination right on the final tolling of the bell, the exact moment of meeting. It served two purposes. One, it impressed anybody who knew how difficult astral projection was, and two, it showed that she could leave herself open like that and not care because she knew how bad it would be if you messed with her, and you'd know too if you tried it. Everything had an implied reason. But if you asked her, she'd tell you directly. No sense in playing stupid secret little games like the Mazoku play, when you can tell them up front how you feel and what you're going to do.
So when she arrived in the throne room of Beastmaster Zelas-Metallum, she only allowed herself a tiny formal concession before falling into her usual tone.
"I greet thee, mistress of animals, of predators and beasts," she said in a formal tone. Then her posture shifted. "We're still hunting down the pieces, but the vision Shaburanigdo gave me is like a roadmap right to 'em. I'm tracking the chain right now. We won't have any problems beyond basic cave monsters, and are making good time getting to the next location."
"That's the same report you gave last night," Beastmaster commented. "Do you have no new progress at all?"
"Moving around down here takes time," she said. "Deal with it. I'm working as fast and as effectively as possible, Beastie. You'll get the power when I get to it, no worry. How's the war going?"
Beastmaster's feathers were ruffled. She never failed to be insulted by this foolish little human. She could move, to crush her astral form, so easily..... but the penalty would be harsh. "The war is serving well. By hurting the humans, the Dragons are moving to intercept, and we have caused them enough injuries to keep them hooked. These play-skirmishes should be maintainable for at least a month before we have to fully commit to a true Mazoku War. However... we were not able to distract the Knight of the Lord of Nightmares. She is moving to intercept you, leaving her absurd winged friends to fight in the war in her stead."
She frowned. "How do you know that?"
"That is a secret," Beastmaster smiled.
"How do you expect me to get anything done if you don't give me the information I need? No, scratch that. I don't need to know how," she said, frowning the whole way through. "The Knight won't be a problem. I've been meaning to deal with her for a long time, anyway; and this time I have a head start. What about the Knight of Ceipheed?"
"No word on her."
"She'll be coming too, if she finds out what's going on," she rationalized.
"Perhaps if we sent you some aid...?"
"I don't need help. I can handle it," she said. "I am the Knight of Shaburanigdo. By his dark hand I slash through history like a sword of fire and destroy everything in my wake. Trust me, Beastie... according to what I've been told, it's all going to end, and I'll be there with my finger on the button!"
That was enough report for now. Without asking for permission to leave, the Knight of Shaburanigdo pulled her astral form back into place in the astral plane, shivering from the displacement as her senses returned to that cold, dark cave.
It was bad news, the other two being on her trail. But she was expecting it to happen eventually. Expecting it and wanting it.
"It's about time, Lina Inverse," she said to herself, to the darkness. "And this time, I'll be the one who's laughing, not you..."
Her companion stirred in his blankets. "Wh..?"
"Shut up and get back to sleep," she ordered.
The chimera sat up slowly. "Can't... I wake up too fast," he said, stretching.
He was lying. She glared at him. "You need your downtime. Rest."
"I need it," he reminded her, smiling while trying to make it look like he wasn't smiling. "I can't get to sleep without it anymore. You know that, Luna..."
Luna didn't sigh. But she wasn't pleased. But she couldn't get around it.
"Fine, but make it fast," she said. "I'm suddenly feeling very tired."
The moon rises over the village, a bright white, visible between the buildings as it slinks its way along the sky. Because that's what Brian was doing; slinking around.
He was chased out of the last village he went to. The only clothes he had were his bandit's uniform, and Skeleton Badass was no more. Never before had cost accountancy looked so good to him. So nicely safe. Yes, he could see a bright, bright future for him, if he could just get into some normal clothes so the local cops wouldn't try to haul him in for his past career difficulties...
He didn't know how to mug anybody, but that was the idea; find someone his size, bonk him over the head and take his clothes. Then he could check into an inn with the little money he had handy, and maybe find a job doing someone's books and finances the next day. There was still money to be made in finance, yes. Things were looking up.
The accountant formerly known as Skeleton Badass allowed himself a smile of hope, looking around the street for a willing vict -- err, volunteer, glancing up at the stars, seeing a huge ball of black lightning come wafting his way, seeing...
Wait a minute.
BOOM.
Brian was knocked to his rear, as an entire city block went up in dark flames. Windows in buildings miles around shattered from the concussion wave...
The gigantic lizard thing swept in a whirlwind over the town, doing battle with another gigantic monster thing. Another blast, and the lizard was knocked to the ground, taking out a few structures with it.
Cost accountancy was starting to look like a very unlikely way to live out the rest of his life.
The war was officially here.
Professional running, now, that had a future...