|
|
omewhere beneath the shining sun, somewhere in the green and fertile lands the world, somewhere in the city/state of Sailoon, somewhere on the grounds of the Happy Traveler's Mega-Inn and Conference Center, something exploded.
It was a very impressive explosion. There was just the right amount of BOOM, just the right amount of fire and bright light. It had a pleasant deafening quality to it, and there was plenty of smoking shrapnel tossed about dramatically. The judges were quite impressed, and scored it a 4.3, 4.4, 4.7, and 3.0. (The Atlass City judges always scored low.)
The competition was down to four finalists, out of the two hundred sorcerers who were attending MagiCon 5. Whoever won this final round of 'Freestyle Destructive Magic' would take home the coveted Magus Statue, a cash prize, and get the envy of every other two-bit magician, sorcerer warlord and practitioner of the arcane arts at the convention. Truly, a great feat indeed.
The second competitor stood up to the platform, behind the white line as the innkeeper's servants nervously replaced the smoking remains of the target with a fresh, whole one. Then they ran for their very lives, as the sorcerer charged up a sickly green light around his body, and unleashed a bolt of power that tore through the air like a dagger of sheer lightning...
When everybody could see after the explosion, there was a red and white melted puddle where the target was. Good scores all around, 4.8's and 4.7's.
The third competitor went even farther, doing a twirl and pose before screaming to the heavens, his hair glowing yellow and shooting up against the force of gravity. A ball of unfiltered might formed in his hands, and he cast it at the target, kicking up a shock wave that cracked windows for three blocks around before punching through the target, the wall behind it, the building behind that and causing a shop of extremely fragile and expensive glassware to explode into powder.
4.9s across the board. He would be the clear winner.
While the servants traced various holy sigils for luck in the air between them and the proving grounds, the fourth competitor stepped up to the platform. She really wasn't much to look at; some girl, maybe fourteen, maybe fifteen. Barely any figure to speak of, a very unflattering yellow and purple sorceress's costume, like you'd see on a kid at Halloween. She had fiery orange hair, and a somewhat unusual smirk... and before the servants had even gotten off the battlefield, a red aura flared up around the girl. She was chanting something, a LONG spell, but not one anybody could hear from that distance. Strange, the observers thought, how could some kid that young lea--
"DRAGON SLAAAAAAAVEE!!"
Nobody was conscious to see what happened, but the aftermath left the walls of the arena flattened, the competitors tossed around the landscape, one city block in flaming ruin, and all that was left of one of the judges was a pair of smoking boots.
But there was a 5.0 in front of those smoking boots, which was equaled by each judge after they woke up. 5.0, 5.0, 5.0.
The winner was Lina Inverse.
Known throughout the land as the infamous Lina Inverse, Bandit Killer (and sometimes known as 'someone even a dragon wouldn't mess with') (and sometimes as 'the enemy of all who live') (and frequently as 'the flat chested terror') has carved a name for herself in history books. Not the RIGHT kind of history books, mind you, but the kind that go on and on about heroic deeds and quests and slayings of dragons, along with lots of Thees and Thous. She doesn't really set out to do that sort of thing, it just tends to happen along the way.
Not much is known publicly about her, background or otherwise. She started to show up in the magic 'scene' five years ago, just a kid at the time, doing random mercenary deeds and annihilating local bands of robbers. Nobody's sure of her exact age (soon to be eighteen) because she still looks like a young girl, or in hushed whispers where she can't hear, a young boy. She's been involved in the near destruction and sudden saving of the entire world on more than one occasion, and is rumored to be everything from the savior of the land to the Lord of Nightmares incarnate. That's not entirely far off the mark. Either of them.
Anybody who knows her close would know that her behavior upon winning the Freestyle Destructive Magic competition was quite normal. Lina bounced her way back to her inn room on the second floor of the convention center, handling her new trophy like the Turin Shroud. She was giddy. Awash with a wave or six of delight, she set the trophy down in front of her window, so it would A) catch the light and glint just so, and B) be seen by all the other sorcerers at the con and thus envied with shades of green rivaled only by the grass on the other side. As far as Lina was concerned, she was ON that other side right now, waving to everybody else.
"I KNEW I'd win, naturally," Lina said, ego inflating to 500 PSI. "After all, there are very few spells that can compare to my Dragon Slave!"
The lanky blond-haired man who wandered in to the room after her was looking too worried to comment about that. "I really hope the hotel doesn't bill us the damages," he said. "Some of those shopkeepers looked really mad."
(Lanky there is actually Gourry Gabriev, noted swordsman and heroic nice guy. He's been spotted traveling with Lina for the last few years, as bodyguard, guardian, punching bag, comic relief and human shield. He's considerably taller than Lina, has a dull glaze over his eyes most of the time and really likes jellyfish.)
"Relax, Gourry! It all falls under the con's insurance policy," Lina smiled, giving him a thumbs up. "Don't worry so much! This is MAGICON FIVE! The time for us doers of magic and casters of rituals to kick back, enjoy a refreshing beverage, and unwind."
"...but I'm not a doer of ritual or a caster of magic, Lina." Gourry said, having a seat on his bed. (Lina was forced to light the innkeeper on fire when he made some untoward comment about her wanting separate beds for herself and Gourry.)
"Eh, there's stuff for you here too. Did you check out the dealer's room? They must have six bazillion Magic Swords!"
"I like mine already," Gourry said, fingering his Sword of Light(tm) protectively.
Lina rooted through the packet of con materials she got (a map, a schedule and a coupon worth ten percent off anything bought at Stan's Previously Owned Sacrificial Altars), looking for her tiny paper of carefully scrawled notes. "There's plenty to do. You could go socialize, or something. Or go to a panel. Or AAAA! I'm late I'm late gotta go later Gourry!"
"Anoooo..." Gourry commented, watching Lina frantically scramble around the room to fetch things. "I.. guess I'll just sit up here, then."
As her final act before shooting out of the room at near the speed of sound, Lina circled something on the schedule and handed it to Gourry. "Try that." Then she fled.
Blinking in surprise, Gourry's mind slowly, slowly caught up to what had gone on, and looked at the paper in his hand.
"'Sidekick's Discussion Panel'??" he asked aloud, dumbfounded.
A blur of orange, yellow and purple dashed down the halls of the Happy Traveler. No magic was involved, just a lot of determination, a lot of sugar and a lot of 'spunk.' Elevators hadn't been invented yet except for a few comedically disastrous efforts at rigging a 'magical lift' which left passengers in a thin paste at the top of the elevator shaft, so the Linaesque Blur was forced to take the stairs.
It snapped to a sudden halt, ignoring the laws of inertia, at the back of a large gathering crowd in the main ballroom. Most of the sorcerers that were attending the weekend outing were here, to see the Big Thing. Several reporters from local newspapers were also present, along with some wannabe historians, pens ready to start scribing Thees and Thous for generations of adventure-crazed history buffs to read.
An imposing figure stood high above all others, on a raised platform to address the crowd. The podium looked like a child's toy in front of his impressive bulk. Lina recognized him immediately and was glad he didn't recognize her from that distance.
"On this, the 500th Anniversary of Sailoon's foundation, I, Prince Philonel the Just do hereby...." then he got lost in his notes and had to fumble through a half-dozen little cards before picking up again. "...time. As you no doubt know, we have recovered the Legendary Oracle's Mirror of Sailoon, one of the many ancient magical artifacts our forefathers used to guide our people through centuries of golden peace!!"
Everybody knew this; it was printed on all the flyers for MagiCon 5 that the Oracle's Mirror would be unveiled after its recent recovery from the ruins of a nearby temple. That wasn't the important bit.
"And now, to explain more about the mirror and its magical significance," introduced Phil, moving right along to the important bit, "Is the esteemed Royal Astrologer of Sailoon, Mr. Melvin Mallorean!"
There was a halfhearted smattering of applause, as the young man with excessively thick seeing lenses shuffled up to the podium, and got his (even less) organized notes together. He wasn't cut out for public speaking. He wasn't cut out for sunlight. He belonged to the class of sorcerers known as 'Giiks', which was ancient for 'nebbishly pale man who sits in his parent's basement for years and plays with magic and doesn't know how to talk to girls'.
"Ummm... thanks," he started, not sure how to properly react. "Ah.. Well. The Oracle's Mirror, as most of you know, was made with a form of magic lost in time known as Mirror Lore. Like the three primary arts, Black Magic, White Magic and Shamanism, it was a commonly practiced form of ancient times. But, um, it's gone now. Because people forgot to write it down, we think."
He paused. Melvin had read a book somewhere which said you could use pauses to keep your audience enthralled. It wasn't working. He probably had paused too long. Oh dear.
"Anyway," he continued, "The mirror is one of a kind. The ancient rulers of Sailoon used to use it to examine what the best and worst case outcomes of any decision might be. It gave them visions of them, I mean. So they'd know what the risks might be."
"And so they ruled in wisdom and knowledge through the benefit of such powers!!" Phil interrupted in mighty tones, causing Melvin to nearly fall over in surprise.
"Uh... right, right," Melvin nodded. "Anyway. We're trying to keep it safe, you see, it's very fragile so..... we won't be unveiling it today like we had planned."
Collective groans went up from the audience at large, as well as a few off-color remarks about Melvin's lineage. He blushed furiously and continued.
"Starting tomorrow we'll allow each of you ten minutes to study the mirror as carefully as you can, and, um, see if you can figure out anything about Mirror Magic," he said. "And.... that's it. Are there any questions?"
Lina's hand shot up.
"Uhh, yes?" Melvin asked, standing on his tiptoes to see Lina over the podium. "The kid in the back?"
Lina fumed quietly about the 'kid' remark, but asked her question anyway. "What about Silverquick's Tome of Mirror Lore? Did you find that too?"
"Uh. What's that?"
"It's the name of the only book relating to Mirror Magic left in the world, Mr. Expert. Duh. Everybody's heard of it!"
The other magicians, thaumataologists and hedge wizards nodded in agreement with Lina, murmuring to themselves.
"Uh... oh. That book, uh, hai. I'm not aware of that book," Melvin flushed, tugging at his collar. "Which means, um, no. We didn't find it. It wasn't with the mirror."
"Then where is it?" Lina asked.
"Still lost... um. Yes, still lost, I'd guess."
Grumbling spread through the crowd like peanut butter.
On a disused broom closet, away from the main action of the convention, a sign hung on a doorknob. It read 'SIDEKICKS WELCOME'.
Inside the cramped quarters, Gourry sipped watered down punch, listening to his peers discuss. Whine, actually.
"I tell you, it's enough to drive you batty!" a scarred mercenary spat. "'Thug, do this. Thug, do that,' she says. Like I'm some common minion! I'm a card carrying GOON, thank you very much. I didn't go to school for three years to be called a THUG!"
An even more scarred little boy with no body hair twitched slightly, and nodded. "I hear you, brother. Every day my master makes me help him with his alchemy experiments. I'm telling you, if I hadn't gotten very good at emerging from comas, I wouldn't be here today."
"How about you, friend?" the thug asked Gourry. "How's your role treating you?"
"Huh?" Gourry asked, lowering his punch. "Oh, not bad. I carry the heavy stuff and I cut apart monsters and things. And I get to see all sorts of places around the world."
The thug fehed. "The old 'See the sights' gag. Yeah, I got suckered by that one too."
"No, really, it's not bad at all," Gourry said. "Lina doesn't mistreat me."
The other sidekicks in the room cowered and sank back towards the walls in fright.
"Lina...?"
"Lina INVERSE?"
"You're LINA INVERSE'S sidekick?!"
"Good god! You're a braver man than I!"
"How is it you're still breathing and have your original four limbs?!"
Gourry tried to quiet the group down, and continued. "Honestly, I don't have too many complaints. I mean, she's built like a washboard and sometimes she hits me and calls me names, but... uh.."
The burned Alchemist's understudy went tisk-tisk. "She's got you strung along for abuse city, man. You shouldn't put up with that sort of thing."
"Ano?" Gourry asked, scratching his head. "What sort of thing?"
"Hitting you! Calling you names! Like you said!"
"But I said I'm not being mistreated."
The thug shook his head, leaning forward to talk to Gourry in close, personal, I'm Your Friend ways. "Pal, that is mistreatment. I mean, look at me. I get called things like idiot, letch, hoser, dimwit, cuttlefish--"
"You too?"
"Yeah! I mean, you can't just take that kind of abuse. It's not fair!" the thug spat again. "I ain't afraid of no Lina Inverse, and you shouldn't be either. You need to stand up to that little witch, and go, like, 'DAMMIT, GIRL! YOU SIT YOUR BITCH ASS DOWN, AND MAKE ME SOME PIE!!'"
"Have you ever told your boss that?" Gourry asked.
"...no," the thug admitted. "She'd probably fire me if I did."
Gourry nodded, figuring as much. But still, they had a point. Lina did yell at him a lot, and hit him sometimes... but she wasn't a bad person. No, not at all. True, she did destroy a hunk of the city today, but she was just showing off, which isn't a bad... well, okay, maybe a little of a bad thing, but...
While the other sidekicks complained about lack of proper respectable titles in Sidekicking, Gourry sat in silence while his slower than average mind puzzled over this thought. He wasn't a stupid man, not by a league. Just a little slow. But squatting for a few hours of hard thought can do wonders regardless of speed.
Wizards chattered in the main lobby, mostly discontented rumblings. Nobody was pleased with the announcement.
"What's the point of showing a magic mirror to a bunch of industry specialists if the manual's gone?" Lina asked her companion. "And ten minutes of studying?? What can you figure out in ten minutes? Not the whole of one of the legendary lost lores, I tell you, Jack!"
"My name isn't Jack."
"It's a figure of speech, Zelgadis," Lina groaned.
The figure sitting opposite of her shrugged. "So the book is gone. Odds are most of the people here will take off early to start looking for it. Likely they won't succeed, considering it's been a few centuries since Silverquick's Tome of Mirror Lore was written and no clues exist."
"Bummer," Lina agreed. "What do you want Mirror Magic for, anyway?"
Zel blinked. "Isn't it obvious?"
"No, what?"
"I'm not getting any pinker, am I?" Zelgadis asked, gesturing to his face. Which was greenish blue.
Someone who's part golem, part chimera and part human isn't uncommon. They're incredibly rare. Zelgadis, in fact, was the only one of his kind, made this way after a magical deal gone wrong, leaving him with a rocky complexion to say the least. He'd been traveling the lands looking for some kind of magic that would turn him back into a human, coincidentally wandering around with Lina Inverse a few times, but hadn't found anything that worked. (Lina's got a lot of random friends. You'll get used to them popping up from time to time.)
"White Magic, Black Magic, and Shamanism," Zelgadis counted off on his fingers. "Three lores, none of which have a transformation spell powerful enough to overcome my curse. There's other minor lores, but I've exhausted the list of those. But Mirror Magic... that's a lore which might work."
"I haven't actually read anything about it, I just figured it'd be fun to learn," Lina beamed.
"'Fun'?" Zel asked, puzzled.
"Of course!" Lina said. "New magic gives you something to practice, and yet another thing to smack bad guys around with, or get yourself a lot of money and good food! I'm always looking for new magic to fiddle around with."
"I need it to restore my body after a horrible magical curse, and all you want it for is.. kicks?"
"Sure," Lina grinned ear to ear. "Can't hurt, ne?"
Zelgadis sighed. "Anyway, I suppose it'll be lost for another few centuries. Not much point in me hanging around here." He got up, adjusted his cloak and pulled the hood over his head. At the con, it was accepted that everybody's going to look a little odd, but outside he really didn't want to be chased by a mob with pitchforks and torches.
Lina, however, got up to stop him. "Ne, ne, Zel! You don't need to run off so soon. There's going to be a dance tonight, and a feast! And there's still plenty of challenges and wizard's games and panels."
"I don't care about any of that," Zel noted. "I'm not exactly a party animal."
"You're always so gloomy, no matter how much I try to cheer you up," Lina pouted. "Okay. I'll make you a deal. Stay tonight, come with me and Gourry to the party, we'll have a good time... and I'll buy you a Rezo plushie at the dealer's room to torture in any way you see fit."
Zelgadis shrugged. "I'm not exactly a doll collector, either."
"Pleeeeeeeease, Zel-kun?"
He considered a moment, scratching his chin with a sound like two rocks scraping together. "I suppose."
"Weehoo!" Lina cheered, waving little V signs with her hands. "Just you wait, Zel. We'll get some punch into you, have some really inane smalltalk, show off a little and you'll feel a LOT better!"
Zel shook his head, and allowed himself a rare chuckle. "We'll see."
ight falls over the Happy Traveler Inn like a bushel of ripe tomatoes : Loud, splashy and with a lot of color. All irritated mumbling over the main attraction being a great egress was swept away by the other centerpiece of the con : The All Sorcerer's Dance and Karoke Night.
Wizards are easy to spot at large social occasions; they blend into the wallpaper, mumble to themselves and have difficulty approaching the opposite sex. Sometimes they'll try to impress people with minor acts of magic, flashy tricks that arouse oos and aas but don't get them hooked up for the night. Power is sexy, but only to a point.
However, when a large group consisting entirely of sorcerers is the norm for a party, anything goes. There's no need to impress others (well, more than sorcerers normally do), no need to make annoying smalltalk with laymen, just a bunch of similar minded folks getting down with their bad selves and dancing to something not quite entirely unlike the rhythm of the music. Fortunately, the music was being supplied by Mystical Marvin and his All Telekinesis Driven Band, so there wasn't much chance of all the instruments playing the same harmony, much less at the same beat.
Lina, who naturally was outgoing and friendly, was amplified even moreso when the party rolled around and she dragged a semireluctant pair of Gourry and Zelgadis along with her. The normally slightly hyperactive sorceress turned into the human superball as the night progressed.
"WEEEEEEHOOOOO!!!!" Lina intellectually commented in daring critique, taking a moment aside from the dance floor with her two escorts (who had yet to actually venture into the fray). "Now, this is my kind of crowd! And did you see the size of that buffet table?!"
"I almost did, before it disappeared down your throat," Zelgadis dryly commented.
"This punch tastes funny," Gourry wetly commented. "What's in it?"
Zelgadis swished some in his mouth, thinking. "Water, apple juice, cranberry juice, fructose syrup, corn starch, sucrose extract, various sweeteners and vodka."
"Oh," Gourry nodded, understanding all of that. "What's vodka?"
"Who cares? It's a PARTY!" Lina cheered. (Considering how her skin was quickly approaching a nice shade of red, she had sampled the fructose syrup a few times by that point.) "C'mon, Gourry, let's dance!!"
"Okay," Gourry nodded. Then his brain caught up with him. "Whoa, wait. I don't know how t--"
Lina had already grabbed his arm and by laws of party physics, was able to haul a body 4/3rds her size and weight onto the dance floor effortlessly. Gourry stared as the dozens of magicians grooving in neat costumes in absolute fright, like a deer pinned in torchlights, while Lina started to hop around to one of the beats.
"It's easy!" she encouraged him. "Don't just stand there, move!"
"Where do you want me to move to?" Gourry asked in a small, terrified voice.
"Move your body around, like this! Shake your booty, dammit!"
"But you don't have any booty to shake," Gourry noted honestly.
Lina fumed. "FIREBALL!!!" she chanted / yelled, lobbing a tiny (but effective) blast of flames at Gourry's feet.
He jumped out of the way to dodge, landing on one foot. "Yaaa! Lina, be careful!"
"Dance, Gourry!" she laughed manically, flicking a half dozen more marble-sized fireballs his way. Soon Gourry was playing the age old game of 'get funky or be burned alive', and playing it well. A few drunken wizards laughed and enjoyed the show while Gourry tried to convince his heart not to seize.
"OI! LINA INVERSE!!" a voice boomed from within the crowd.
Pausing, Lina turned to see a thug (who technically had gone to school for three years to be a goon) shoving his way through the throng. He stood resolutely in front of her, a couple heads taller.
"Ne, did you call me?" Lina asked.
"Damn well I did!" he spat. "You've got no right treating Gourry that way! Now cut it out before I turn you over my knee and spank you, you underdeveloped brat!"
A wiiiide circle was formed around the goon, most wizards knowing the blast range of any number of black magic attacks by heart.
"Oi... oi!" Gourry interrupted, waving his hands. "I'm fine, really! There's no need for this--"
"WHAT did you call me?" Lina inquired.
"You heard me, kid!" the goon snarled quite menacingly. "Now you behave yourself and quit picking on him or I'll send you crying home to mommy with--"
"MEGA VOLTO!"
Very few people have the rare treat of witnessing an indoor lightning storm. In Hampton's Book of Freak Weather Conditions, it ranks in rarity somewhere between ball lightning and showers of frogs. However, always one to buck the odds, Lina whipped one up right there on the spot, pumping a fair number of volts into the goon and a few others who had the unfortunate mispleasure of being nearby. After the shock wave had passed, a few twitching, smoking forms littered the dance floor, leaving Lina looking satisfied.
"Much better," she smiled. "So! Let's party!"
The wizards stared in relative shock.
"Oi! I said, LET'S PARTY!" Lina demanded. And judging from the previous scene, nobody was about to argue. Servants hustled the victims off to the infirmary and everybody went back to dancing, socializing and getting completely drunk, and all was well. Nodding, as things resumed normality, Lina went back to her table, Gourry in tow.
Sitting where they had left him, Zelgadis observed Lina's approach, sipping his punch. When they arrived, he spoke. "So, did you have fun, Lina?"
"Other than that little interruption, sure," Lina grinned. "They're gonna have Karoke later. You should try singing, Zel-kun! It's fun!"
"No," Zelgadis said, putting his cup down and standing. "I'm leaving."
With that, he weaved through the crowd at an ordinary pace, and disappeared through the door marked EXIT.
"Anooo..." Gourry started, looking up from patting out small fires in his clothing, "What's gotten into him?"
The night air was still and calm, compared to the roaring fiasco indoors.
Zelgadis leaned against the railing of the balcony, taking a deep breath. Studying the moon. Listening to crickets chirp, listening to the faint music drifting through the doorway. It was almost like a different world out here, compared to the madcap antics he had witnessed over the weekend. Out here was just the rest of Sailoon, loaded with civilians. A relaxing thought.
He knew immediately whose shadow was cast through the doorway, interrupting his thoughts.
"Hello, Lina," he nodded, without turning around.
"You're missing the fun, Zel-kun," Lina said. "Come on, let's go back in."
"I'm not in a partying mood," he replied. "Should've listened to me when I said I wasn't much for this sort of thing. Sorry I put a damper on your good time..."
"Eh, it's fine," Lina smiled, walking over and hopping onto the railing, having a seat.
Zel backed up a step. "Careful. You could fall there. It's only one story, but that's enough to break your neck."
"Always a pessimist!" Lina laughed, rocking on her precarious perch.
"A realist," Zelgadis noted, folding his arms. "Don't you ever worry about anything?"
"Not if I don't have to," Lina shrugged. "I don't see the reason to panic about every little thing."
"Not panicking. That's worrying too much," Zelgadis said. "I'm talking about basic concerning. You never bother with that."
"What?"
The boy opened his mouth to speak.. then closed it, and shook his head. "Nevermind. I'm going to head to my room for the night, Lina. Later."
"Whoa, hold up," Lina protested, hopping down from the railing. "What's on your mind? You've got one of those 'I'm Thinking Really Deep Thoughts But Don't Want To Share Them' looks. I can read it like a book."
"You wouldn't be interested in what I have to say. And I don't want to offend you."
"Awww, come on!" Lina pouted. "Try me. I won't bite."
"Biting I could handle..." Zel mused. He sighed, and gave in. "You really annoy me sometimes, Lina."
"Eh?" Lina asked, surprised. "Me, annoying?"
"Not annoying, exactly.." he continued, trying to piece together his thoughts into words. "Just.. frustrate? Maybe that's it. Let's take stock.."
Lina nodded. "Go on."
"I'll use this weekend as a case example," Zel continued. "During this convention, you blew up a city block, electrocuted a few people, raised a roof or two, shot fire at Gourry--"
"What, that?" she laughed. "Come ON, Zel--"
"How old are you, Lina?" Zel broke in with.
Lina considered. "Welll... I'm going to be eighteen in a month or so. Boy! It's been, what, three years since I bumped into you first? Heh. I-"
"You act like you're twelve," Zelgadis said. "Like a kid."
"Hey! I am NOT--"
"Yes, you are. I'm telling you that to your face. Are you going to blow me up now?"
Lina got quiet.
Zelgadis looked up a bit, studying the night sky. "All your life, or at least the parts I've seen and I have yet to see any evidence to the contrary, you've done things that seem like a good idea at the time. Trying not to bother with messy cause and effect if you can avoid it. And each time, you.. get away with it. Things get messy, but you manage to get serious just in time, and eventually everything's fine despite it all. Like you were born under a lucky star. You follow?"
"I follow," Lina nodded, regaining her footing in the conversation. "Okaaaay... so... maybe I'm a LITTLE irresponsible. But what does it matter? I'm young yet, and there's so much to do in life! Things to learn, places to see, food to eat, and so on! And like you said, I'm lucky. Even when things get really dangerous it's all good in the end. What do you want me to do? Constantly freak out and worry?"
"I didn't say that."
"You implied it."
"No, I didn't," Zel denied. "I'm not good at expressing this sort of thing... look.. I'm just warning you, okay? Watch it. I acted a bit like you once, when I was younger. Always wanted to be stronger, to do things my way, be the best."
"Well, good for you! If--"
"So I made a deal with Rezo to be stronger, figuring it couldn't hurt, and now I'm a chimera instead of a human," he finished.
"...oh," Lina said, her train of thought derailed.
A pause held over the two of them, Lina muddling over that for a bit. The crickets continued to chirp.
"I don't want you to think I hate you," Zelgadis said. "I guess there's nothing innately wrong with living carefree. I'm simply worried there'll come a time when the other shoe is gonna drop, and you won't be ready for it. Not in the slightest."
Lina considered this, in quiet shock. "Well, that's.. that's very caring of you, Zel-kun."
"I don't care about you," Zel quickly said. "I'm just making an observation, because you asked me to. And now I'm going to my room to think and to sleep."
Zelgadis turned and headed for the door, quietly. And was stopped with a hand on his shoulder.
"No, you aren't," Lina said. "Let's go back in."
"I'd rather not."
Lina smiled. "You're the one saying I need to think more about what I'm doing, right? Well, I think you need a good time whether you admit it or not. Those folks don't care if you're a chimera, and we're all friends. It's the best opportunity. So, in your own interest, I hereby order you to try and have some well-deserved fun."
"And if I refuse?"
"I might blow you up, ne?" she joked.
Zelgadis managed a smile.
"I suppose if I must," he agreed.
"Thaaat's more like it. Ne, you really do worry too much, Zel-kun. Now's not the time for that sort of thing," Lina said. "It's just a convention! What could possibly go wrong?"
Thunder immediately tore across the sky like a hammer blow of the gods, a fork of lightning stabbing through the heart of an ancient oak tree sitting in the courtyard of the inn. The tree split down the middle, crashing to the ground loudly, splintered wood tossed for yards around. The echo rumbled across the land ominously, carried across the tallest mountains and the lowest valleys...
"Lina, you can let go of my head now," Zel said, muffled by the spooked sorceress that was clinging to him.
Lamps were lit all around the inn, as the party raged on into the night. Eventually, all sane people (like the staff) had gone to bed; only a few straggling wizards remained to enjoy drinks, more bad music, and atmosphere. Zel, still refusing to admit he was having a good time, went up to his room a few minutes before; Lina could tell, though, that he at least had an enjoyable time, if not a thrilling delight a minute amusement blast-o-rama. But...
"Ne, Gourry, do you think I abuse you?"
The swordsman looked up from the paper dolls he was trimming out of a set of napkins out of boredom. "Eh?"
"Like that guy was going on about," Lina said. "Kept babbling about.. well, a lot of objectionable things, but how I shouldn't, you know, fry you and stuff."
"Oh, I don't mind," Gourry said. "You haven't killed me yet!"
"Night's still young," Lina grinned evilly.
Gourry cowered slightly.
"Joke, joke!" Lina laughed. "Relax. Hey, want to go on a little adventure?"
"Actually... yeah, I'd like to," Gourry said. "I really haven't had much to do around here. What's up? A bandit tribe outside of town?"
"No, we're going to defeat the inn's security and get a look at that mirror," Lina beamed.
"I see. So, we're-- WHAT?!"
"Like I said. Ten minutes? Feh!" Lina fehed. "Silverquick's book is gone, and all we have is the product of his genius. That's not much, but if I have a few hours to study it, maybe I figure out how it was made. Of course, to do that, we'll need to sneak into the room they're holding it in."
"Lina, is that such a good idea? I mean, what if we get caught?"
"Oh, that's easy. I'll just say a lecherous older man tricked my poor, innocent self into doing it."
"Ah! Brilliant! Ano.. what older man?"
"You, of course."
"Oh. Uh. Okay."
Security actually wasn't much of a problem. There were two guards posted outside the door, which Lina cast a sleep spell on from afar. They cuddled up adorably on either side of the portal, allowing Lina and Gourry to walk right in; and get caught by the guard who was INSIDE the room. Lina tried to seduce him into letting them in with a honed Kawaii, Innocent and Vulnerable act, and when that clearly failed, simply bonked him over the head and continued along.
"What IS all this stuff?" Gourry asked, poking at the various altars, statues and display cases around the room.
Lina pulled some white sheets off of various objects, looking for the mirror. "It's the Artifact Display Room. Sort of a showcase for the state of the art in magic... wow, they have an iconograph!" She took the small box with a circular hole in the front off its display pedestal, and aimed it at Gourry. "Smile!"
"Smile? Wh--"
*KAFLINK*
"AAAAARGHH! I'm blind!!" Gourry screamed, falling to his knees and scrabbling at his eyes. "Oh, god!!"
Lina pulled a slip of paper out from the machine, and put it back. "Wow, they weren't kidding. The light spell in these things is really powerful... ne, look, look!"
"I can't! My eyes have been burned out of their sockets!"
"No, you just have to open them."
"Eh?" Gourry asked, blinking a few times. "Oh.. I see. I mean, I can see now. Whoa! That's me!" he exclaimed, taking the picture of a very shocked Gourry from Lina's hands.
"Yeah, it's a magical-image-making-box. Woodcut artists will be out of a job in five years, mark my words," Lina grinned.
"It also makes a great weapon!" Gourry observed.
There was also an amazing stick which could project a lead ball hundreds of yards by detonating a small amount of black powder, complete with an attached device with a set of glass circles that let you see for hundreds of yards and project a tiny red dot from a focused light spell where you aimed.
"I don't get it. Why would you want to throw a little ball that far?" Gourry asked.
"Maybe it's a new kind of marbles game."
Next to that was an amazing box which could do mathematics when you pushed number-buttons on it and pulled a handle, writing the answer on a strip of tape with magical ink.
"Hmmm... 2 + 2 - 56 / 12.4. What's it say the answer is?" Lina asked, poking buttons.
"Six."
"(100 * 34) + 12?"
"Six."
"121 raised to the power of nine?"
"Six again."
"...three plus three?"
"Uh, it's just giving me a little 'E'."
"Needs work, I think."
A large oblong box with six sides sat next to that. It had a number of rubber tubes going in and out of the box, and a lid with three hinges. Inside was a small farm animal and a set of bells, attaches to several levers on the outside with circular grips. The sign in front of it simply read 'MARITAL AID'.
"Isn't Marital Arts that fighting form they practice off in the east or something?" Gourry asked.
"No, it's... yes. Yes it is, Gourry."
"Oh, okay."
Nearby was an amazing wooden barrel with an internal, perpetually driven whirlwind. A long tube was hooked up to it which could suck anything up if you turned on the handle. It could roll around on little wheels that could handle rugs, carpet, wood or cement. The sign read 'DIRT DEVIL.'
"I hope there really isn't a devil in there. That'd be dangerous," Gourry said. "Um.. what is it we're here to see again?"
"The mirror!"
"Oh. Is that it?" Gourry said, pointing to a drape-covered object that stretched from floor to ceiling and had a large sign on it reading 'THE MIRROR'.
"..." Lina agreed.
he mirror itself was impressive, magic aside. It stood twelve feet tall, an ornate rectangle of pure reflection, with circular notches out of each corner. It was, of course, surrounded by entirely too much ornate gold trim, with carved icons of the founders of Sailoon, various heavenly bodies, some women that the sculptor was trying to herd into his bedroom at the time, and so on.
Lina examined the surface, running her eyes along it, and found that to be a difficult task. It was impossible to tell that a plane of glass stood between her and the reflection of her; the mirror was ground flawlessly. The light didn't bounce off it, or leave any telltale glare. She was almost tempted to reach through the alleged surface and touch the other side...
Gourry was just concerned with getting a good shave.
"Put that away!" Lina barked, slapping the knife out of his hand. "We're here on business."
"But I forgot to this morning," Gourry complained. "I don't want to look scruffy."
"This isn't a mirror for freshening up! It's a powerful artifact of a time when magic ruled the world!" Lina reminded him. "It's one of the only bits of physical evidence we've got that the legendary lost lores are anything more than, well, legends. Now hush up, I need to study this."
Gourry studied the mirror. "It's a mirror. So?"
"Not just look at it. Probe it, magically, and such. Figure out what makes it tick," Lina explained.
Blinking, Gourry poked at the surface of the mirror. He left no fingerprint on the glass. Nor did he feel any glass there. "Creepy," he commented. "Is it safe to poke at it like that?"
"You're the one who poked, not me. I'm just gonna set up some sensing spells," Lina said, having a seat in front of the mirror and sketching a ritual circle on the ground.
"I know. That's like poking, except.. different, right?" Gourry asked. "Is that safe?"
"Of course it's safe!" Lina said. "Shhh. Me working now. Go play."
Gourry shrugged, and resumed browsing the many wonders of the hall. None of them were as interesting as the mirror. Well, that wasn't exactly true; most of them were more interesting than the mirror, which other than feeling funny, was still just a mirror. But for some reason, he kept coming back to that 'Marital Aid' thing and trying to figure out how it worked. He had this strange urge to raise his sword when he looked at it.
"Weird," Lina commented out loud.
"I know. What's the farm animal for?"
"Not that! The mirror. All my spells just.. slide right off," Lina gestured. "I can't even figure out how to activate it."
Gourry squatted down behind Lina, peeking into the other side of the image. "I dunno. Maybe you just say, like, 'Mirror, what will I get for breakfast tomorrow?'"
"Too easy. There's always some silly code word or incantation and set of hand-waving gestures involved," Lina said. "Especially with legendary lost magic."
Gourry waved his arms around like a chicken with its head cut off. "Ooga booga! O Magic Mirror, what will I have for breakfast tomorrow?.... ano, it's not working."
"Not just ANY hand waving and words!" Lina grumbled. "Specific ones."
"Oh. What are they?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out!"
"Oh! I get it!" Gourry nodded, smacking an understanding fist into his palm.
"You do?"
"Yeah! But don't you think if you sit in front of the mirror too long, it'll crack from your looks?"
*WHAM*
"Ow."
"Serves you right," Lina muttered, folding her arms.
Gourry rubbed his sore head. "You know, I think that's abuse."
"Eh?"
"Hitting me like that. It's abusive. And in a... 'equal society where partners are given a fair split in terms of the quotas for respect, a mutually understanding relationship vis a vis the hero and sidekick must bend towards perspective contemplation.'"
Lina wobbled, and fell over. "G.. Gourry, where did you hear that?!"
"At the Sidekick's Panel. Did I get any of the words wrong?"
Sitting herself upright, Lina tried to regain some composure. "No, no... just.. quit ragging on my looks, or my figure, or my personality, and stuff like that! Then I won't have to hit you. It's simple, right?"
"Oh! Okay, I get it now!" Gourry nodded enthusiastically. "I'll try that."
"Goooood. Now beat it, I'm working."
The blonde-haired swordsperson wandered off again, and decided to fiddle with the iconograph some more. He will go down in history as the first person to ever point an iconograph the other way, and take pictures of himself making funny faces; a strange obsession which would grip the population for years to come. Time passed quickly this way.
After about an hour, Lina rubbed out her magical circle. "Rats. I can't penetrate that thing, no matter how hard I try. And I can't activate it."
"Oh... maybe you just do something like, 'Mirror, what will--'"
"You tried that already, Gourry."
"Saying it, yeah. But maybe you gotta THINK it, or something?" he asked. "You're the sorceress, not me. I wouldn't know."
Lina considered that. "Okay... pick some decision, concentrate on it really hard..." She turned, and stared head on into the mirror. Concentrating. Staring. Concentrating.
What should she pick? Well, Zel was going on and on like a broken record about how lucky she's been. Lucky in what? Most of her travels were remembered for having bandits chasing them, or insane demons, or dragons, or whatever. They were usually defeated, of course, but... she thought along those lines a little, wandering about mentally, getting distracted and bored.
Also bored, Gourry started to play with the amazing mathematical box a little. One step away from the proof of the derivative function of calculus, it happened.
Since his back was turned, all he could pick up on was the sound.
Lina yelled first. He thought that came first, anyway, in hindsight.
Then he heard breaking glass, possibly.
But definitely after the glass broke and Lina screamed bloody murder, he heard the wind whip up to tornado speeds, and lightning crackle.
By that point, he had turned around; to see the shards of the broken mirror shooting past him, huge flying planes of razor sharp glass almost but not quite dismembering him. The glass, blown away from the frame, shattered to useless dust on the far wall. And inside the frame...
Inside the frame was just darkness, wind and dust blowing out of it, blue sparks of lightning zipping around. Gourry had seen enough; he immediately dove into the fray, scooping up Lina's unconscious form, mind focused solely on getting her to safety. He scrambled off to the side, away from the mirror, and waited for it to die down.
Which it did, in a final burst of energy, which knocked a hole in the roof. Then there was no wind, no light, just a busted mirror, and a partially melted frame.
Cradling Lina, he carefully crept around to the front of the mirror. All that was behind the glass was a basic sheet of plywood. And a note, written in careful manuscript.
'If this mirror is broken, please notify me at the following address. -SQ'. And a location.
Gourry reached to take the note, and the ancient yellowed paper crumbled to dust in his fingertips.