The Winter War

The Barricade

By: Rachel--ISLEFRANK@aol.com

The next day was cloudy and cold, but that didn't matter to Val. He didn't know, and could not have cared less.This was for an excellent reason: he was sleeping at the moment.

Amanda kicked him. "Wakey wakey."

Val mulled over the various emotions he could be feeling and finally decided on joy that the first thing that he saw on awakening was Amanda's face. On the whole, feeling that instead of pain or anger would be a time-saver.

He also considered many things to say, and settled on these sage words: "I want my toothbrush. My mouth feels disgusting."

"We're weeping for you," Zelgadiss snapped.

Val stuck his head under the covers (i.e. he pulled one of Jame's old coats over his head, exposing his feet to the elements). "Well, if that's the kind of reception I'm going to get, I'm going back to sleep."

"Dammit, Zel, can't you be a little more civil?" Lina muttered.

"Hell isn't famous for its civility!"

"We're not in hell yet," said Jame, coming in from the kitchenette. "Everybody, calm down. I'm sure that we can figure something-"

There was a knock on the door, cutting him off.

He crossed the room and opened it, hesitantly, to find three soldiers standing there.

One of the soldiers, in bored and over-used tones, spoke.

"If anyone living in this place is or is related to by blood or marriage a practitioner of the magical arts, or a member of the chimeric or strange races, or a member of the Ryozoku races, he has to report to Ralita Park for reassignment."

"Hello to you, too," Sean decided, in the interest of self-protection, not to say.

"Reassignment?" Jame asked.

"To be moved to your own area of town. Bring what you can carry only. There'll be no transportation available for you people." The spokesman turned to his two comrades. "Three more doors on the street. Let's go."

Jame closed the door, muffling the sound of marching feet.

"'Our own area of town'?" Amanda asked.

"Just like I saw in Markedra," Zelgadiss said. "It's a fancy word for 'ghetto'."

"God," someone muttered.

"So what do we do now?" Amanda asked. "Do what they say, or - "

"Do what they say. Did you see them? They have firearm technology. I don't want to get on their bad side just yet."

"For the love of - " Lina clenched a fist. "One spell and I could take their whole army - "

"It won't be so bad," Gourry told her. "At least we'll be surrounded by people like us, right? It's a sort of freedom."


"Name?"

Ralita Park was normally a cheerful place. People often came there for picnics, and it was the kite-flying capital of Saillune.

Now, some of the people who had loved the park had come under very different circumstances. Long lines of tired-looking men, women, and children waited in front of a row of desks. The children hid behind their parents, trying to hide under coats and cloaks, and whimpering that they didn't understand. Rarely did a parent try to explain.

Waiting in the line, Zelgadiss couldn't keep his mind on the situation. He was, for some reason, thinking about some of his more dubious choices again. Every one represented a different life he could have led. Every one was a way not to be here -

"Name?"

He realized that the man behind the desk was asking for the second time. "Zelgadiss Graywords," he said, already shaken beyond where he would have thought of giving another one.

"Your occupation?"

Which one?

"Sorcerer."

"With anyone?"

"These people. Seven others."

"All right, go to that line and wait for the rest of your group. You'll be assigned a location there."


NO. 347 GRAYWORDS, ZELGADISS sorcerer chimeric races

NO. 348 INVERSE, LINA sorceress

NO. 349 GABRIEV, GOURRY related to undesirable job assignment: Saillune Mutations

NO. 350 GRAYWORDS, AMANDA LINA sorceress chimeric races

NO. 351 NO LAST NAME, VAL ryozoku

NO. 352 INVERSE, LISA sorceress

NO. 353 GRAYWORDS, SEAN sorcerer

NO. 354 IONA, JAMETHIEL sorcerer

ASSIGNED LOCATION 136 CARLOT STREET ROOM 64


Lina turned the paper over again. "No other location's listed?"

Amanda took it out of her hand. "We can get one of those cheery little plaques. 'Room 64, happy home of 347-354' it'll say."

"This isn't funny, Amanda," said Lina sharply.

"I know."

136 Carlot Street turned out to be a shabby office building on a dark side street near the east side of town.

"I'm glad to be home," said Sean. "No, really," he explained quickly as heads turned to retort, "it's good to be away from those people on the curb, isn't it?"

"Yes," Amanda agreed.

"What was with them, anyway?" Lisa wondered. "They looked furious at us."

"They think that the sorcerers betrayed them. They're more than happy to see us leave."

"We did betray them," Zelgadiss added.

Everybody ignored him.

"Anyway, let's take a look at our new home," said Lina brightly, doing her best to make the more depressed members of the group shut up. She pushed open the door labeled "64".

"It's certainly..." Words failed Jame. He had tried to keep quiet, since he was having enough trouble keeping himself calm as it was, but he had had to comment.

"Eight people are supposed to live there?" Val was a little more blunt.

It was a conference room or breakroom on the fourth and top floor, with windows set in two walls. Most furniture was gone, but one tired-looking couch remained in a corner.

The room was about twenty feet by thirty. That was all.

"Yes," Zelgadiss answered. He flopped down on the couch and resolved to stay there until things improved.


Things didn't improve.

That day, they spent talking quietly as the event caught up with them. They would hear the sounds of people moving into the surrounding rooms occasionally, but nobody tried to come in.


The next morning found everyone in various positions on the floor. The knock on the door, a virtual repeat of yesterday's, startled everyone except Zelgadiss into wakefulness.

"Gourry Gabriev! Is there a Gourry Gabriev here?"

"That's me," said Gourry, opening the door to find another soldier, alone this time.

"You're assigned to work in the Saillune Armaments Factory, and you're late for work."

"But there isn't a Saillune - "

"Right. The first job is to build one." The man shrugged. "Or convert an old building, I think it was. Anyway, come with me. You'll be returned to here tonight."


A lot can happen in a year...

A brilliant Mazoku sorceress can learn to despise a city of light, even one that's rather darkened at the moment.

Her chimeric counterpart can stop being someone whose low opinions of himself and his choices are buried rather deeply and only come out on the rapidly increasing occasions where he's blind drunk. He can instead change into someone whose low opinions of himself and his choices are currently ruling his entire life and causing him to do his damnedest to sleep eighteen hours a day and mope the other six.

His wife, former Queen of Saillune, can discover a new thing about herself: she's really afraid of rats and enclosed spaces.

Their daughter, Amanda, can learn that guitar withdrawal is a very real condition.

Their son, Sean, can learn that drama is no use during a fascist occupation. He instead can turn to spending more and more time with the other sane member of the group, who would be -

Lisa, who can learn that there's no swifter route to Daria-like cynicism and despising the entire human race than by living with seven other members of it in a tiny room.

Val can learn that it's hell to be a dragon stuck in a weak human form, but also that it helps to redouble one's efforts at following Amanda around.

Jame can write quite a lot of a novel. He can also learn that his humanitarian nature keeps him from participating in one other major activity.

Gourry does not change at all during this year. Some things never do.

The next major event to happen to them, in fact, came on one night that started out like any other.


It was a night that started out like any other.

Gourry pushed open the door and walked in, glancing around. There was a bad cut over his left eye and his face seemed bruised even in the dim light from the window.

Barely looking up from his pad and pencil, Jame assessed the situation. "Medic."

"Oh, not again," said Lina as Sean got up from his place in the corner and took a look at Gourry's face. From his background in healing spells, he had been classified early on as the doctor of the group, even though he had then had barely any knowledge unrelated to useless magic. "What was it this time?"

"Argument over pay," Gourry explained. He rarely explained further.

Zel raised his head slightly to take stock of the situation, decided it wasn't really worth speech, and put it back down on the floor.

Jame pulled off a handful of notebook pages and tossed them to Zelgadiss, taking advantage of the moment of interest in the outside world. "Here. Read chapter two."

Zelgadiss flipped through the papers, speed-reading them. He slowed down at a few points, and finally stopped entirely halfway through. "The screwed-up kid is back."

"The screwed-up kid is the star," Jame pointed out.

"I don't like him."

"You should. He's based closely on you when we were kids."

"Oh. Right."

Zelgadiss continued to read. At last he finished and handed the pages back to Jame. "Well, it's at least very interesting. Are you ever going to explain the blue-haired girl or the whole 'Angel' thing?"

"Eventually," Jame shrugged.

"Thought of a title yet?"

"Don't be silly. I barely have two chapters."

"Name it after the giant robots," Zel suggested before returning to his mental hole.

"I kind of like that," said Jame to no one in particular. He put the notes away. "We'll figure it out later. Tonight some people are coming over."

"Some people?" asked Amanda.

"Well, you know how I go out on Thursdays?"

"Yeah?"

"Today is my Thursday to hold the meeting here."

"What meeting?"

"Our meeting to talk about the little group I've formed."

"Little group?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Jame seemed uncomfortable with the situation.


A few minutes later, the first knock came.

"Who's there?" Lina called out.

"I'm here to see you, Jamethiel, are you in there?"

"Come in, Kira." A young woman entered, and swept the room with a slightly nervous glance.

"It's okay, they're my family." These days, you called the people you lived with your family. It was easier that way.

"Oh."

The knock came a few more times. After about ten more people had come in - making the crowd standing room only, to say the least - things seemed to have reached a starting point.

The voices were hard to attribute to individuals. The lights remained dark and nobody spoke very loudly. It was obviously a covert gathering.

"What's first on the agenda?"

"That ought to be the arms report."

"Right. What do we have?"

"Not much. A few guns taken from the outpost on Sixth and Marc streets."

"We need someone who works at the SAF."

"Yes."

"Is that all then?"

"Let's get out of here."

That was that.


Jame Iona was in the habit of going up to the roof of the old building for a few minutes each night. It was protected by a high ledge, and was a good place to escape from life and think things through. He was sitting there now, his back to the wall, his eyes on the stars, and his writer's mind fully aware of the metaphor.

"Jame, I have to talk to you."

"What is it?" asked Jame, knowing full well who it was and moving on to the next logical question.

"Just talk in general."

Zelgadiss came the rest of the way up the ladder, and plunked himself down a few feet from Jame. There was some visibility in the light of the half-moon, and so Jame had a chance to think, for the sixth time that day, God, he looks awful.

Zel's inability to deal with the situation had been a major topic of discussion during the few times that he left the room. He seemed unable to function these days without Ameria, his magic, and the dubious help of his assorted favorite substances. Another person, with a different set of priorities, at a different point in life, might have risen to the situation. Zelgadiss had instead chosen to sulk.

"In general...about what?"

Zel was in his favorite pose, arms crossed over his chest in what was either a subconscious attempt at protecting himself from the world or a conscious attempt to keep warm. "You know. About the people who showed up tonight. You're involved in some sort of idiot fight for freedom that's going to get you all killed, aren't you?"

"Not the way that I'd put it, but yes," Jame told him. "We're planning to barricade a few streets, shake things up a bit."

"Jame, I hate to say this, but you'd be up against an occupation force here. How long are you going to - ?"

"Last?" Jame interrupted rather louder than usual. He quickly brought his voice back down to near-whisper level, as the guards on the street were very attentive. "That's not the issue. There's a real chance that we could win, and that's all that I need."

"It's not much of a chance, though."

No matter how laid-back they are, everyone has a place where they crack. Jame's had just been hit with a sledgehammer. His hand clenched, for him a rare sign of anger. "Why are you always so hopeless about everything?"

"Why are you doing this at all?" Zel countered.

"What did I just say?"

Zelgadiss took a moment to figure that one out. "You asked why I'm supposedly hopeless about everything."

"That's just it. You know, Zelgadiss, you'd be amazed if you'd let the idea into your self-absorbed little brain, for just one second, that a whole lot of the things people around you you do are because of you. Would Ameria have been so quick to come to the defense of the people in Markedra if you hadn't been a chimera yourself? Do you think that I would involve myself in a dangerous crusade like this if I never met you?"

Zel took this in with an expression of wide-eyed disbelief. At last he managed to say, "You mean, you're doing this - for me?"

"No. We're not doing it for you. I'm just doing it because of - look, I'm not explaining myself too well."

"Um, no."

"What I mean is...I'm trying to save this city, which I might add is hardly mine, because there are so many people in it who've given up hope on saving it for themselves. You were just the person who made me notice them by being one. You follow?"

"Oh."

Jame smiled. "Sorry I yelled. The thing is that I hate to see people who are that hopeless."

"You're too nice," Zelgadiss said flatly. Jame thought it over for a minute and then decided that it wasn't a compliment.

"Maybe. After all, that was the reason I spent my childhood more or less with you."

Ouch. "That's stretching things."

"Only slightly."

Zel looked away from Jame. "I only hung out with you because I couldn't get rid of you."

"Right."

"Well, when we first met, for example. You followed me all the way home!"

"Three blocks. That was the length of the main street in Marcelle, as I recall."

"But I didn't want you to follow me, no matter how short it was."

"I saw that kid pull you off of the swing. You looked so miserable."

"I did not."

"You were crying."

"I was not!"

"Zel, in all of the years that have passed since then - "

"What?"

"Have you gotten any more mature at all?"

Various emotions warred in Zelgadiss Graywords' mind. Eventually, the one that won was mild hysteria. After a few minutes he even stopped giggling.

"You," Jame told him as slowly as possible, "are insane."

"Oh."

"But you know what I mean now?"

"Yes." You're such a nice person that it's a wonder you're still alive. Therefore you're embarking on a quest that will almost certainly force you to leave this state. "You're trying to give back people's hope."

"Right."

"So why are you writing such a depressing novel?"

"The happy ones are very dull," Jame shrugged.

Zelgadiss stood up. "It's getting kind of cold out here. Maybe we could go in?"

"Yeah. Do you want to come to our next meeting?"

"Well, I'll consider it," said Zel.


Three Thursdays later -

"We'll be back in a half-hour or so."

Jame closed the door softly, so as not to disturb the other occupants of the old building.

Lina's eyes smarted in the semidarkness as she tried to sew a torn shirt back together. "Can we light a candle?"

"Out of candles," said Gourry. "Go closer to the window."

"Honestly, what do you hope to accomplish by writing those?" Lina asked as she tried to prod Amanda away from the light.

"I'll play them when it's over," said Amanda.

Curious, Val wandered over. "Song lyrics?"

"Yes. Here's my work on 'Midnight Blue'."

"Guys, I need the light!" Lina protested as both Amanda and Val bent over the sheet. "At least it's not Jame and his novel taking over the window," Sean said philosophically. He and Lisa were in their usual place, talking in the corner.

"Yes, and that's a whole other kettle of fish. It would be a lot better for it to be Jame and his novel in here rather than Jame and Zel out there, with their fool's battle."

"Would you mind not using the 'kettle of fish' metaphor? It's making me hungry," Gourry complained.

"And come on, Lina. They're trying to improve things," said Amanda.

"Improve things? By fighting? That's suicidal. Just like what I was always saying back in the bad old days on the road!"

"I thought that what you were always saying in the bad old days on the road was 'find the you in the future, give a reason for life to yourself." Gourry reminded her.

"I wasn't aware that you were listening. I'm flattered," said Lina with all due sarcasm.

"Anyway, Mom, if you want to think of it another way....it's Jame and his 'fool's battle' that got Zel to stop sleeping all day and do something about his situation in life. I for one think that it's an improvement," said Lisa. It had, in fact, been the only thing that had kept her from killing him. She hadn't known how much you could grow to despise someone you didn't like simply by living with them.

"So it got him motivated. I still say that unmotivated is still better than dead."

"What do you want from him, anyway?" snapped Amanda.

"Amanda-chan, calm down. Lina's not angry at you."

"Val."

"What?"

"Get your hand off of my arm!"

"Oh."

There was a knock.

"Come in," called Amanda, but not too loudly.

The door cracked open. "It's us," said Jame. "And we have news."

"The date is set," said Zelgadiss, following his friend in. They both looked excited.

"What, you two getting married?" Please, God, thought Lina, let this not be the big one. We're doing so well...

"No, for the big one. The revolution." Jame's voice dropped to a whisper around the point of 'the big one'. "In two weeks, we're barricading off Lagare Street, near the entrance to our area. We can hold off the world there, or at least the Markedrans until they're forced to make a few compromises."

"Are you guys okay? You look a little flushed," said Gourry.

"We just had a little run on the way home," Zel explained.

"Right. A little run from soldiers wondering why you were out after curfew, I imagine."

"I didn't see, Lina."

Yeah, right, Lina just forced herself not to say.

Zel turned around from hanging up his coat. "Anyway, we have an issue to bring up."

"What's the issue?" said Lina.

"We need to know who's going to be helping us," said Jame.

"Oh."

Zel crossed to the pile of blankets on the other wall and grabbed his own; it was going to be a chilly night in more than one respect. "We can only rely so much on outsiders joining. We're going to need all the volunteers that we can get."

"Well, I'll be there."

"Knew we could count on you, Gourry."

"What?" Lina had to keep from yelling. Had to keep quiet. "Gourry, what's wrong with you?"

Gourry smiled. "I can't just walk away from this. They mentioned that they needed more weapons. I can help them with that. The factory where I work isn't too hard to get stuff out of."

"That's a capital offense," Lina reminded him.

"He knows," said Amanda.

"Does he?"

"I know."

"What about you, Lina?" asked Zel.

"No."

"What?"

"No." She winced at his sudden expression of betrayal. "Don't look like that. You knew that I was against it."

"But you're - you. Lina. You always used to save the world - "

"The world maybe. I'm not going to risk myself in a fight like this where there's no world to save."

"You'd be saving my world!"

"We all have to save our own world," said Lina quietly.

"That would sound deep and interesting if I weren't so angry at you."

Jame put a hand on Zel's shoulder. "Calm down. If she won't, she won't."

Zel shook him off, disguising the movement as a turn away from Lina. "Fine. Who else is going to come?" His tone stated clearly that he hadn't taken Jame's advice.

"I volunteer. If you can't trust your own daughter to help, who can you trust?"

"Good question."

"Zel, I said, calm down!" said Jame, the overworked peacemaker. "Thank you, Amanda."

The other three let things sit for a moment, and then Val put up a hand, like a little kid at school. "Count me in, I guess. I've got to protect Amanda-chan, right?"

Amanda smiled sweetly. "Val, I can protect myself. I'm probably the best unarmed fighter in the room. Would you like to find out just how good I am?"

"Kids - "

"Right, Jame, I know. But I'm serious," said Val. "Where she goes, I go."

Amanda suddenly didn't have a retort for that.

"And you two?" asked Jame. He had taken over the questioning since Zel was now ignoring everyone.

"I'm with my mother," said Lisa firmly. "What she says, goes for me."

Lina looked at her in surprise, but Lisa only explained, "You're the only one who understands what a stupid thing to do this is."

"Sean?" said Jame quickly, hoping to salvage things a little bit.

Sean didn't help at all. "I agree with Lina and Lisa. Do what you want. Die for your little world for all I care."

He was obviously speaking directly to Zelgadiss, or so Zel decided anyway. "Fine. That goes for you too. Follow them. Coward."

"You're more of a coward for not accepting the way things are."

"It's not the way things should be, dammit, and you of all people should know that."

"Both of you, stop it." Lina didn't want to hear the argument. "I'm going to bed. Zel, off of the couch. It's my turn to sleep there."

"Shut up."


A lot can happen in two weeks.

Gourry can have a new career as an arms smuggler. He leaves the weapons and ammunition in a designated area of the factory, just inside the fence, and passes the security check as he leaves. Late that night, another member of the revolution climbs the wall and retrieves the lifeblood of the group.

Jame can lead his group to plan their barricade down to the last detail. They have everything figured out. Everything.

Zelgadiss can go about this work with feverish intensity. Amanda figures that he's been not moping for the past year, but in fact recharging himself.

Amanda herself can join Val, Zel, Jame, and Gourry in attending meetings, comparing notes, and becoming more and more excited.

Gourry's supervisor at the factory can become more suspicious than ever about his employee's activities. He plans to "speak" with him in a few days.

On the night before the fight is scheduled to begin, Sean, Lina and Lisa haven't changed their minds at all.

After all, I said that a lot can happen, not a lot always happens.


This was it.

"One last shipment of guns to get. Whose turn is it?" asked Jame, as he put on his coat with a certain amount of warrior-going-into-battle ceremony.

"Ours. Let's grab them and get the hell back here before they start hauling materials," said Zel.

Lina glanced up at him, one last "sure you won't change your mind?" challenge. He ignored it.

"Okay, this is it. The moment we've all been waiting for. Ready?"

"God, am I ready."

They walked out together. Lina watched them go.


A wall separated them from the small deposit of guns and ammunition, but it was only a man-high brick one topped with some broken glass and such. By now they had learned that it was better for all concerned to have Zelgadiss scale it.

"Are they there?" whispered Jame anxiously.

"Wait a minute." He heard the quiet sounds of Zelgadiss rustling through bushes, searching for it.

"They're here."

"Toss them over and let's leave." There was a frightened edge to Jame's whisper.

Zel scrambled up onto the wall, thankful to take his friend's advice for once. It turned out to be a few rifles and a heavy bag of ammunition, something that would be a great help in the battle to come.

Jame grabbed the bag from Zelgadiss, and without another word they left.


Sergeant Machard now commanded a group of the guards that policed the area of the Saillune Arms Factory. Doing paperwork at his desk, he barely acknowledged the report of one or more intruders spotted climbing the wall.

"Deal with them as usual," he told the man, and went back to the mountain of papers he still had to deal with. It was a shame that the Army kept them so busy.


"Do you see him?" said Zelgadiss.

"I see him," answered Jame. "Keep walking, keep walking. He can't suspect us."

"There's more of them."

"Shut up. Once we're out of the alley, we're home free. They can't find us in all of the streets. When we're out of this place, we run, got that?"

"Got it."

They got to the street. They ran.

"Stop or we'll shoot you!" The soldiers were required to warn intruders before taking action. For some reason, potential arrestees usually chose of their own free will to be shot.

Zel and Jame were running.

And then there was a loud sound, a sudden pain in his chest, and Jame stopped.

As he fell to the ground - hard, without stopping himself with hands - Zelgadiss grabbed his burden and ran on. They'd decided that this was what they would do if it happened. At the same time they'd told themselves that it wouldn't.

"Zel," whispered Jame, as the footsteps left. "Zel," he said again, a little stronger, but just saying the word made the pain worse. There was so much.

The thoughts, wordless but real, came into his mind. He had been shot. He was probably going to die. Blood was the warm liquid cooling as it ran over his hand.

All of his life, he had had words in his mind for people that this happened to. Words like martyrdom and heroism. They meant nothing, could be no comfort now.

Jame was only thinking of how cold he was when they finally came and shot him three times in the head.

His body was eventually burnt and the ashes were thrown into the river.


Zel stumbled through the alleyways.

He wasn't thinking of anything much.

Jame was not actually the first thing on his mind, inasmuch as anything was in his mind but shock.

The first thing on his mind was in fact his desire for complete oblivion, and he made a quick mental list of available bars where it might be purchased.

Then he told himself that this was a very stupid course of action, and instead made a mental list of available rivers beneath which oblivion might be gained for free.

He slowly got a rein on these thoughts. Although at various times in his life (his sixteenth year, for example) they tended to complicate his life, at heart Zelgadiss wanted to live right now. Preferably live very quietly and very far away, but live.

He leaned against a wall. He was feeling a little better now, so he allowed himself to think for an instant that his friend and security blanket was dead and that he was now the leader of a revolution going on without him.

This thought started the entire cycle over again. Zelgadiss continued on his way to Lagare Street.


When Zelgadiss arrived, they were tearing up paving stones already.

"Zel!" Kira said quietly. She didn't yell or come up to him; they were in far too much of a hurry to barricade off some of the street to spare anyone for any length of time. "It's good that you're here. Everyone else is. Is Jame with you?"

Zel stared at her for a moment, then dropped his eyes.

"Hey, did you hear me? Zel? Zel - "

"Jame is dead," said Zel. It was all he could do.

He came up to the rest of the group, dropped his load and began to help without another word.

"How did he die?" asked another member, a dark-haired and very young man who gave his name only as Miros. "Did they get him near the SAF?"

Zel nodded, still without speaking.

"Oh." Miros tried to keep the conversation going. "I guess that makes you in charge, then? You were his lieutenant, after all."

"Don't put it in military terms. It's military thinking that helped the Markedrans take over so easily."

"Oh," said Miros again. The rebuff only stopped him momentarily, though. "But are you in charge now?"

Zel stopped working and leaned on the pile of rocks he had made. "Yes, I think that if you're any example of the way people here are thinking, I am in charge here. Tell the others."

"Oh, right."

At least it got him to leave.


"Captain?"

Captain Fredadore was jolted out of her sleep by one of her guards. She lifted her head from the desk: someone would catch hell for this. "What is it, Private?"

"Seems to be the beginnings of some sort of uprising, Captain!"

Fredadore was suddenly totally awake. "Where?"

"Lagare Street. They've already barricaded themselves in, sir. They have guns from - somewhere and are defending themselves. We thought it was at the point where I ought to report."

"Who's the leader of this?"

The private smiled, glad to have anticipated Fredadore's question. "The one who appears to be giving the orders, sir, is no. 347. You might want to know his name as well. Zelgadiss Graywords."

"Who in the hell's that?"

"He's married to Queen Ameria."

"Dangerous man, then. Why haven't we had him shot?"

"We never bothered to."

"Bother now."

"We're trying."

"All right, then," she said, rising from the desk and buttoning her uniform coat, "To begin with, I want you to make sure that he has no place to run. Occupy the building where he lives. Get the occupants out. If they argue, shoot them. I'm in no mood for games."

"Yes, sir."

"And bring that barricade down."

"Yes, sir."


The shooting started.

Lina lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "That's Zel and friends out there, I guess."

"It sounds like it's coming from below," put in Sean.

"It is," said Lisa, listening carefully. "I thought they were down a few blocks, at Lag - "

"Oh, my God!" Lina sat up, looking pale. "It's the guards!"

"Why would they be here?"

"I don't know! But we have to get out!"

"Don't be silly, Mom. They must be coming for someone else. We're not involved."

The sound drifted up of someone coming up the first flight of stairs. Now they could hear shouting, too, and screams. Somewhere, glass broke.

"Are you sure?" asked Sean humorlessly.

"Everybody out!" The shouts were words now as the footsteps split up, some running around the first floors, some coming up the stairs. Another flight. Third floor.

"They're right under us now," said Lisa, her voice shaking with nervousness. How long was Lina going to keep her cool?

Not long at all, it turned out. "Let's get out," she said. "It's not safe in here."

"How?"

"Out the window. We'll hop onto the next roof."

"Out there?" Sean peered out, hearing the steps come up another flight. "I can't do that!"

"Why? Why not?"

"I'm scared of heights!"

"It's that or leave in a bag, Sean!" Lina gave him a sizable push towards the window. He weighed his chances, then climbed out, fell several feet, and landed with what seemed to him a sickening thud on the next rooftop.

Lisa and Lina quickly followed. They found some stairs, and came down to street level, past the frightened occupants of the building.

"Hey, we should have brought some things with us," he said.

"Jame's novel? Extra clothes? Yeah, maybe," said Lina, calmly, as if it were a natural situation to be in. "But come to think of it, we've got our coats on. And Jame probably brought his work with him."

"Oh, right." Lisa watched the crowd outside of the building as they shifted around her. "What are they going to do?"

Her answer came in the form of a brightness in an upstairs room. Smoke poured from its window, and suddenly the next room was on fire. Then the next.

"What are they doing?!" yelled Lisa.

"They're burning the building, what does it look like they're doing?" Lina yelled back, deliberately taking Lisa's shock the wrong way. "Damn it, where are these people going to go? This is Zel's fault somehow! I know it is!"

"I know where they'll go," said Sean. He felt oddly calm, as if everything happening were premeditated and inevitable.

"Where?"

"To the barricades." He smiled. "They're angry. They've just been displaced. Where else to go? It's going to solve Dad's recruit problem."

"Idiot," said Lisa.

"No, he's right," said Lina. "They're mad. They'll go." She raised up her head, and they saw her expression. It was one of Lina's old favorites. It meant, "I have been wronged. You are about to die."

"And we're going too," she added.

"No, we aren't," said Lisa immediately.

"Yes, we are," said Sean. "This is unforgivable."

"They've done a lot of unforgivable things to us," pointed out Lisa, "and you haven't complained."

"There wasn't a chance to complain then. Now there is."

"Well, I'm going. Come if you're coming." Sean walked off. Lina followed.

Lisa looked around. Behind her was the hopelessly burning building that had been a sort of home for so long. What life she had was there.

She looked after her mother and her friend. They were going, the lunatics. And yet, somehow -

The heat from the building was beginning to bother her. She sighed, and let her shoulders droop a bit.

"Give a reason for life. Why not," she muttered, as she left for Lagare Street.


As Lina had predicted, they were virtually lining up to join.

Zelgadiss wasn't even bothering to keep their names straight now. There were people from the building and people who had just walked in off of the street. It was incredible. It terrified him, but then, at the moment loud noises and people tapping his shoulder were terrifying him. He decided to stop thinking entirely and just work.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Aaaaaaagh!"

"We thought you'd like to know that we're here," said Lina, as Zel turned around to face her, trying not to clutch his heart, scream at people, or pass out. "They torched the building."

"Oh."

"That's all? I thought that you'd freak out."

"Jame is dead. It sort of palls in comparison."

Lina actually took a step backwards. "He's dead?"

"That's what I said."

"So...you're in charge?"

"Everyone's treating me as such."

"Oh. Well, then, you lead, okay? Do heroic stuff." Lina waved a hand vaguely towards Zel.

"How do I do that?"

"Just make a few speeches, cast some dramatic poses. It all works out in the end."

"That never worked for me in the bad old days."

"Why do you always call them the bad old days?"

"I'm a pessimist."

"You used to be at least a realist."

"Now I'm a pessimist," he said shortly.

Lina dropped her eyes. "Okay, so maybe this isn't the time for teasing."

"Abuse."

"Whatever. Zel, can I give you some advice?"

"You have thirty seconds."

"Start the clocks now." Lina leaned a little closer, so as to not let anyone else hear. "I know you're upset. I know you're angry. I know you're depressed. Hell, I might feel the same in your position. But I've let it slide for a year now, and it's time to tell you. Haven't you ever figured out that when the going gets tough, the tough get going?"

"I figured out the concept of cliches years ago, if that counts."

"Stop it with the games, Zel! I'm trying to help you here! If you don't pull yourself together and rise to the situation, I - and Jame, too, and hundreds of others - will be as betrayed as you. We won't be happy. I suggest you get over it - now."

She walked away, but he stopped her. "Hey, Lina!"

"What now?" Lina had been plenty mad before, and things weren't improving.

"Are you volunteering or not? Help us build up the wall. The guards are coming."

"Right," she replied, not drawing any conclusions as to whether he had listened.

Zel went back to work. He had listened.


It was finished.

A high, white, shining wall, impervious to foes it was not. In fact, it amounted to a pile of stone, rubble and whatever else had been tossed on the heap. It ranged from eight to ten feet high, and blocked off Lagare Street.

The area was bordered by the barricade to the south, by the city wall to the north, and by the walls buildings to the sides. It wasn't quite a fortress, but it would have to do.

The pale light of dawn was already spreading over Saillune, and the defenders of justice (or so Ameria might have called them) were already red-eyed from tiredness. Even so, there was an elation in the air - a sense that they were fighting it at last. People, high on the excitement, were hugging each other spontaneously.

Even Zelgadiss felt something of it. Somewhere during that night, he had realized - totally independently of any outward help, of course - that maybe when the going got tough, the tough got going. That maybe this could still mean something, even without Jame. That this might be his one chance at glory. That he might still, if he hurried, stop philosophizing and get at the coffee they were making.


Sean watched bemusedly as Zel wandered over to the central campfire and talked with a few of the group there. "He seems to be taking this well."

"Yeah, maybe he's just cheering up at the prospect of a good fight," said Amanda. "Aren't you, little brother?"

Sean twitched. "No, actually. Are you?"

"I'm going to get a shiny gun!" said Amanda happily. The smile faded in a few seconds, though. "You realize we're in way over our heads, don't you?"

"Of course I do. I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

"Sean?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't actually think you're stupid."

"Thank you."

"Stubborn, pretentious, and irritating, maybe, but not stupid."

"Oh, be quiet."


"Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start when hmm hm - "

"Nice tune, Val, but maybe the lyrics need help," said Lisa.

"It's a stirring revolutionary song, Lisa, it doesn't need lyrics."

"I didn't know that."

"Course not. I didn't expect you to."

The discussion was interrupted by the sounds of marching in the streets.

"It sounds like our friends, the Markedrans, have finally put together an organized force," said Lina, almost offhand.

"It took them long enough," said someone from the crowd.

"Someone should talk to them."

"Yeah."

They waited expectantly. The core group hurriedly went into a huddle.

"I'll go," said Zel, before anyone else could say anything. He shrugged helplessly when they gawked at him. "I'm the noble leader, right?"

"Right," said Kira.

This was frightening him deeply, but he went on to the barricade. While they watched, he climbed up and poked his head over the top. Several soldiers pointed their guns at it in a highly unpleasant way.

"Hold your fire," said a sharp female voice. A dark-haired woman came from the group. "Who are you?"

"I'm the leader of this barricade," said Zel, failing to hide his nervousness, but not from lack of trying.

"Well, then, I'm Captain Fredadore, leader of the city guard. I don't suppose you would be interested in peaceful surrender?"

"Not a chance," said Zelgadiss more levelly. He was getting into this.

"Nor in leaving Saillune? We can arrange that. I don't want to lose any of my troops."

For a moment, he thought about it. I could leave this town and never come back...

And maybe if I broke all of the mirrors, I might forget that I'm a chimera.

"That's not too likely, either."

"All right. Fire at will."

"That went better than I expected," said Zelgadiss a few seconds later, when he had ignobly, but safely, slid down the pile and into the ground.


The rest of the day was a confusing mess. There were shouts, there were rushes on the barricade, and there were wounded and dead to avoid. At the end of the long day, Zel could only really remember it as statistics. Seven dead, fourteen wounded and expected to live, two wounded, not expected to live. Nobody missing, thank God. At least there was that. And they had held their own.

Despite the losses, when Fredadore ordered cease-fire to her troops and let them rest for the night, the mood was still there. It was somewhat dampened and subdued, but it was alive. A feeling of unreality was beginning to seep in among the elation, too.

That night they put more wood on the fire and organized groups to sleep. Sean's name was drawn to be one of the lucky ones to rest first.

"Zelgadiss, find your son," said Lina, after a quick poll had discovered no Sean.

"Son? What son?" But he got up and looked. That 'missing' list shouldn't go from zero to one.

They had laid the seven dead out in the very back, next to the wall. They would bury them, if they ever got out. Miros, the young man whom Zelgadiss had argued with that morning, was among them. He dropped to his knees to make sure - yes, it was him. For some reason, it almost seemed funny - people dropping out of his life before he even knew their last names...

Sean turned out to be the ball shape leaning against the wall near them. Zel hesitated, then nudged it with his foot. "Sean, it's your turn to sleep."

"I'll stay here, thanks."

"With the corpses for company?"

"They're at least quiet."

"Sean, in your entire childhood, I don't think that you've ever listened to what I had to say."

Sean looked up, with that sarcastic look that Zel had always found so unpleasantly familiar. "Did you ever have anything to say to me? I didn't notice."

"I had lots of things to say."

"Had 'em, didn't use 'em."

Historical marker creators take note: at this point in the year 1043 post-Kouma War, Zelgadiss Graywords lost his temper. "All right, that's enough about my inadequacies as a parent. You're an adult, what's done is done."

"I barely got started on your inadequacies as a parent. As long as we're on the subject, can we talk about that stupid fight we had the year I was fourteen, over wanting to grow my hair out - "

"No."

"I haven't let my hair above shoulder length since, just to spite you."

"I know."

"Really?"

"That's nothing," Zel replied. "When I was fourteen, I ran away to become the most powerful person in the world just to spite my hometown."

"That was why?"

"Well, it was also because I was a young man of very little common sense, but then you know all about that sort of thing."

"You know," Sean told him, "We were about on the verge of a heart-to-heart before you said that. And by the way, who are you to question my common sense?"

"Well, I think that I'm someone who's planning to sleep well away from seven dead people. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Sit down and I'll tell you. This might take awhile."

Zel sat down, a little nervously, across from Sean.

"These seven people are dead because of me."

Zel waited a few seconds, and then said, "Go on."

"That's it."

"That's taking awhile?"

"I thought it would be harder to say."

"Did you kill them, then?"

"No, but they died because - well, look, I'm - "

"Incoherent?" Zelgadiss gave himself a good mental slapping-around for this reply, but didn't add anything.

"Just let me talk. I do white magic, right? I don't like it but it's true. I've never thought that it was really a useful gift. The world was such a peaceful place, I had to go out looking for trouble to find somewhere where I was needed. And now, here I am needed, and I can't do any magic, so they're dead. How's that for irony?"

Sean put his head on his knees again.

I really should do something here, Zel thought helplessly. I should give him a damn hug or something. Or tell him things are going to be all right.

Sean's voiced sounded choked-up and far away. "Why did you want this so much?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"A real answer, Dad, please. I want an answer."

"If you insist."

Sean waited a few moments, and then added rather snidely, "Go on."

"You stole my sarcastic retort."

"It wouldn't kill you to lose some of them," said Sean. "Why did you do it all of a sudden?"

"If you have to know, I was tired of sitting on my ass and letting people abuse me."

That sentence hadn't been what Sean was expecting. He responded with a confused "What?"

"For the last year - no, scratch that, the last twenty or thirty years - other people have been out to hurt me because I've been different from them."

"I see."

"You see what? I didn't even get to the point yet."

"You're really paranoid, aren't you."

"Whatever," Zel snapped. "Do you want to hear this?"

"Yeah," said Sean meekly.

"Anyway, at first I wanted to follow Jame and take part in all of this because he guilted me into it. He told me that he was doing this whole thing to bring hope to people, including me, and that he wouldn't be doing what he was doing if he didn't know me.

That got me ready to guilt-trip my way right into the movement, at first, but later that night I calmed down and tried to think rationally about it." Zel paused, but no comment on his normal rationality came, so he continued. "I finally realized that whatever happened, I just had to come here. I had to fight it. It's the only chance I'll ever have to create a world where - where - help me out - "

"Where people really don't care that you're different from them? Actually, I think you mean make things the way they were."

"Exactly. Do you realize that we just agreed?"

"Terrifying, isn't it?"

Zel got up. "Anyway, I'm done now."

"Wait, wait. What if you do all of this heroic crap and make things right again and then it turns out just the way it was turning out before?"

"I don't think that it will," said Zel seriously. I hope that it won't, he added mentally. Maybe if I appreciate what I have when things are normal again, I won't end up in the nuthouse.

He cautiously held out a hand to Sean, who pulled himself up. "Thanks. Damn. I think we ended up having that heart-to-heart after all."

"Some things can't be helped," said Zelgadiss. They walked back to the fire together.


"What were you two doing over there?" asked Lina.

"Best not to ask," said Sean. He threw himself down on the ground and winced slightly - that had really hurt. "I'm going to get some sleep, anyway."

"Have a blanket," said Zel. Sean accepted and put it over his head.

"So, did you two have a little heart-to-heart?" said Lina evilly.

"Why is everyone obsessed with that phrase?"

"Oh, be quiet." Lina threw him another blanket. "You sleep too. I'll wake you up at four to take up the watch."