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Hello, my happy readers! Where does this story fit into the Great Immortal's Universe, you ask? Well, it fits quite snuggly before the beginning of The Lifting Darkness and after the latest installment of A Day in the Life, yet still has absolutely nothing to do with either, so if you haven't read them, don't worry about it. ^_^ Enjoy!
One night, Prince James had made his usual wish. Expecting the usual response (i.e. nothing), he folded his arms on the windowsill and rested his head in them for a good, long cry. However, much to his surprise, a bright light filled the room. Prince James gasped and rushed to a corner as the light came together in a ball and suddenly exploded. In its place stood a slightly agitated young man. He was wearing an atrocious outfit of brown pants, an orange shirt, and a green vest. On top of the whole ensemble was a pink, frilly apron covered in hearts that matched perfectly the pink frilly handkerchief on his head. His back was graced with a set of gossamer wings, not unlike something a butterfly would wear. In his hand he held a smooth wooden rod tipped by a miniature pokéball.
"Who... who are you?" asked Prince James of the fashionably challenged youth in his room.
"I am Brock, your Pokéfairy Princess." He glared around the room for no apparent reason.
"You're a fairy?" asked Prince James.
"Pokéfairy!" corrected Brock, doom on his face.
"That's great!" exclaimed Prince James. "After all," he continued, looking at the audience and winking, "you're not a real man until you have a fairy!"
Brock scowled and muttered something under his breath.
"Anyway," began the Pokéfairy Princess, "I am here to help you with your problem. Quite frankly, we're tired of hearing you complain."
"So you'll stand up to my parents and convince them to let me go?" asked Prince James, clasping his hands together, his eyes filling with sparkles.
"Heck no!" exclaimed the fairy - excuse me, POKČfairy. "I've seen your parents. They're scary. No, I'm going to find someone brave enough to do it instead."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" cheered Prince James.
"Yeah, whatever," mumbled Brock as he slowly disappeared.
"I really appreciate it, Fairy Boy!" called the Prince. Any response Brock might have made was lost in the sound effects of his exit, luckily allowing this story to retain its "G" rating.
A handsome young woman, about Prince James' age, was standing in a sheltered grove of trees. She was practicing some moves with a sword. Next to her, a sleepy Meowth was playing with a ball of string. Brock drew his eyebrows together and squinted in concentration. He knew this woman. Pulling out his PeopleDex, he pointed it at her and waited for it to register. The results confirmed his thoughts. He rushed across the grove. This was just the person he needed!
"Brave Fencer Musashi!" he called, running towards the woman. The woman stopped in mid-swing of her sword and looked at the boy. Internally, she made a face. This boy couldn't dress!
"Actually, it's Jessie now," she replied, watching the boy carefully. She didn't put down her sword.
"Really?" asked Brock, flipping through his PeopleDex again.
"Really," affirmed Jessie. "It's a long story. Basically, it's a culture thing. I could go on all day, but..."
"Yes, yes, yes," replied Brock, hastily making the correction. Putting the PeopleDex back, he walked up to Jessie and put on a noble air. "I am Brock. I am here to ask you to undertake a noble quest. But I warn you," paused Brock for dramatic effect, "you will face three very tough trials if you accept this mission. Can you - "
"Why do trials always come in three?" interrupted Jessie. Brock scowled at her for breaking "The Moment."
"I don't know! Why do American idol groups always come in fives? The point is, you will face three trials so you can save Prince James. I will be with you, in the far, far back, offering support and useless hints. You wanna do it or not?"
Jessie was thoughtful for a moment before asking, "What do I get?"
"Oh, I don't know!" cried an exasperated Brock, practically yelling. He was beginning to wonder if promising to save Prince James was a bad idea. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.
"You get Prince James," he said happily, nodding in satisfaction. Jessie thought a moment more, then shrugged.
"Okay." The woman put away her sword and turned to go get her things. Halfway there, she stopped and faced Brock. She had a quizzical look on her face.
"What are you anyway?" she asked.
"I'm a ~~~~~." The rest of the sentence was lost in mumbles.
"What was that?" asked Jessie sweetly.
"A pokéfarryprinceess..."
"Hmmmm?"
"A POKÉFAIRY PRINCESS, ALL RIGHT?!?!?" yelled Brock, breathing heavily.
"Ahh. Just wonderin', Fairy Boy."
"That's POKÉfairy!" he corrected again, loudly.
"Whatever," smirked Jessie. She gathered her stuff and walked off towards Prince James' mansion, leaving Meowth to his string.
When they came to the edge of Prince James' family's estate, they found it surrounded by thick vines and spiny brambles. It was practically impassable. Jessie stared at it a moment before shrugging. Hefting her pack, she started to walk away.
"Hey! Where are you going?" cried Pokéfairy Brock, flitting after her and grabbing her arm.
"Where else?" she replied, yanking out of his grip. "Home. I can't get through that stuff."
"Ahh! But that is where I can help you!" exclaimed the Pokéfairy Princess. He walked to the edge of the barrier, did a little dance, waved the wand, and with the crackling and creaking of branches, accompanied by the screaming of wilderness animals, a path opened up, leading straight to a meadow.
"Not bad, Fairy Boy," remarked Jessie on his handiwork. She reached over to one of the brambles and was surprised to see it was a rose bush. Taking one of the beautiful, fragrant flowers, she tucked it into her belt, mindful of the thorns.
"That's POKÉfairy and we're not done yet," said Brock. "Walking along this path, you will come across three meadows, each containing a trial you must face.
"Couldn't you have opened me a path away from these meadows?" asked Jessie. "Surely this isn't the only way to the estate."
"No. Now the first trial is the easiest."
"Of course," remarked Jessie dryly.
"I believe," continued Brock, "that you are truly worthy of the task of saving Prince James. However, there is one other you must impress first. That is the only hint I can give you. If you fail the first test, you will be torn limb from limb by a ferocious beast."
"Pleasant," sighed Jessie. "How about number two?"
Brock nodded. "The second test is more difficult. There you be facing an enemy so stupid, it is inflicted with the most terrible of advantages."
"What's that?" asked Jessie, slightly worried.
"That, I cannot tell you," lamented Brock. His eyes, were they visible, would have had a dangerous glint in them at this point. "Next is the final and most terrible trial of all. It has been known to make grown men weep, to claw at there own eyes, and beg for swift, merciful deaths." Brock paused a moment. A hush fell over the field as if everything was holding their collective breaths. Brock breathed in slowly.
"Okie-Dokie! You're set! Have fun!" he said enthusiastically, shoving Jessie towards the entrance. Jessie smiled in anticipation. She loved a good slug fest. From the sounds of these tests, it was going to be some party.
It wasn't until she was halfway across the meadow that she noticed The Change.
The breeze remained the same, the sun still shined, but it was utterly and completely silent, save her own breathing, whistling, and walking. Jessie felt fear creep up her spine. Her walk broke into a run, but she knew it was too late. Behind her, a beast of some kind thundered along, closing the distance between them in mere seconds. Jessie felt its weight as it pounced on her back, felt its breathing on her neck as she fell to the ground, felt it licking her ear as she lay there, waiting for the killing blow.
Licking her ear? Jessie blinked and rolled over. Sitting next to her was a very friendly Growlithe. It barked at her and licked her face while she stared at it, incredulous.
"You're the beast that's supposed to rip me limb from limb?" she asked the Growlithe, who licked her face again in return. It started panting and she saw its sharp teeth. "Never mind," she said, scratching its head. "I believe it. You must be the one that determines if I'm worthy. Did I win?"
The Growlithe barked at her and danced around her legs as she stood up. "Guess so," she laughed, trying to keep from being knocked over. She saw on the ground the rose she had picked up earlier. It had been knocked out of her belt when the pokémon pounced her. Picking it up, she wrapped it in a handkerchief and tied it to the Growlithe's collar.
"Very pretty," said Jessie with a smile. She looked up. "Well, it's getting late and I have a quest to complete. See ya' around!" Jessie waved goodbye to the Growlithe, who barked once more and darted away. Jessie walked quickly on to the next meadow.
"Growly!" exclaimed the Prince, rushing over to hug his pokémon. "Growly, I never realized how dull it was being a Damsel in Distress... OW! What the..." Much to his surprise, Prince James found a rose tied with a handkerchief to Growly's collar. That was what had stabbed him. He carefully took it off of Growly's collar to examine it more closely.
"Where did you get this?" he asked his pokémon, but Growly had already curled up in a ball and had fallen asleep. Prince James put the rose in a vase by his bed, mindful of the thorns. He held the handkerchief up to his nose. It smelled of sweet perfume. The prince glanced curiously at his pokémon, then, with a sigh, went back to sitting by the window.
"TEAM ROCKET!" yelled the boy suddenly, pointing straight at Jessie. "YOU CAN'T HAVE MY PIKACHU!"
"CHUUU!!" echoed the mouse.
"Okay," said Jessie, preparing to walk around the boy. "I'm on a much more important quest right now." The boy looked at her in shock. He acted as though he was trying to speak, but couldn't get the words out.
"What could be more important than chasing my pikachu?" he asked angrily. "That is your purpose! Your only reason for existing!"
"That all depends on who you ask," remarked Jessie with a smile. "Besides, I'm going to get me a hunk of blue hair bishonen, so I certainly don't have time to mess with a little brat like you!"
"Why you..." growled the boy. "I, Ash Katchem, hereby challenge you to a pokémon battle!"
Jessie grinned and reached for her own pokéballs. "I accept," she said evenly.
"NOOOOOOO!!"
Jessie spun around and saw Brock flitting towards her at a very rapid pace. He looked extremely worried and upset
"Why not?" asked Jessie.
"You can't win, Jessie!" cried Brock.
"And why not? He's young, inexperienced, stupid - he's only been a bloody trainer for like three months! There's no reason why I shouldn't win!"
"You won't, Jess," said the Pokéfairy sadly. "You really can't."
"Huh," she scoffed. "I'll show you, Fairy Boy." Reaching around, she grabbed her first pokéball.
"Squirtle! I choose you!" exclaimed Ash. A small turtle pokémon appeared in the meadow, said it's name, and prepared for attack.
"Okay," breathed Jessie, gearing up for the pitch. "Pokéball goooahhhh!" she screamed as she tripped and fell flat on her face. Her pokémon was never released from its ball.
"Squirtle! Water gun attack!"
Jessie felt the water hit her as she flew back across the meadow and slammed into a boulder that so happened to be there. She sat on the ground dazed for a minute before standing up groggily and rubbing her back.
"YOU STUPID KID!" she yelled. "We're battling POKÉMON! I didn't even get to call mine out!"
"You snooze, you lose," replied Ash, tapping the brim of his stupid hat.
"Grrr... LICKITUNG, GO!" yelled Jessie. Her pokémon stood on the field, dwarfing the squirtle. She smiled brightly and pointed her finger at her pokémon.
"Lickitung! I want you to disable that turt - "
Jessie never got to finish her command. Suddenly, a herd of Grimers came slugging through the field, trampling her pokémon. She stared at her now fainted pokémon in shock. Jessie spun around and looked at Brock square in the face. She grabbed the front of his shirt and glared down into his eyes.
"What the HECK is going on!" she growled under her breath. "I can't do anything without something bizarre and random happening to prevent me from doing what I was trying to do!"
Brock squirmed in her grip. "I told you!" he cried. "You can't win! He's too powerful!"
"WHY IS HE POWERFUL?" she shouted. "HE'S SO STUPID IT JUST -" Jessie stopped short and dropped Brock back on the ground. She closed her eyes and put a hand over her mouth. After a minute, she looked back at Brock, meeting his eyes.
"It can't be. He doesn't..."
Brock only nodded solemnly. Jessie turned to look at the smug pokémon trainer wannabe across the meadow.
"Oh my God. He has..." she paused and swallowed hard before answering.
"Dumb luck..."
Prince James' father looked up from his paper. His wife sat down next to him. She was very upset, he tell just by looking at her.
"What has our little rascal done now, dear?" asked in a light and merry tone of voice. Somewhere behind him, a laugh track began.
"Oh, nothing at all dear. I'm just worried. He just sits by his window everyday and sighs. When I asked him what was wrong, he said he was waiting for his Fairy to come back with someone to rescue him from this desolate prison and free him from the control of his psychotic parents."
"Ohh, boys will be boys dear," said Prince James' father with a sile. Suddenly, it turned into a frown. "However, I'm not sure I like this Fairy talk." After a minute, he brightened considerably. "I know! Why don't we send that pleasant young woman upstairs to play with him. They seem to get along so well."
"You mean Jessiebelle, dear?" asked Prince James' mom sweetly.
"Yes, dear. I think it would be a good idea. They play so nicely together. Jessiebelle!" called Prince James' father. A pristine, dignified young woman walked softly into the room.
"Yes, suh?" she asked sweetly.
"Jessiebelle, dear, we were wondering if you could go upstairs and play with Prince James for a while. He seems so sad." Prince James' dad shook his head and smiled at Jessiebelle. "Why don't you two play that game you're so fond of! You know - the one with all the leather?"
"Yes, suh!" exclaimed Jessiebelle enthusiastically, rushing out of the room. The King and Queen of the household continued to sit quietly together, reading the paper. Suddenly, they heard a loud scream coming from upstairs.
"NOOOO!! NOT YOU!! STAY AWAY!! DAD!! MOM!! I HATE YOU ALL!!"
"Ohh, isn't that sweet, dear?" asked Prince James' mom of her husband.
"Oh ho ho, yes, dear. Kinda reminds you of when we were young, hmm?" The two of them chuckled merrily, listening to the sounds of breaking furniture, cracking whips, and muted screams.
"What's wrong?" asked Jessie, only slightly concerned. She was more worried about the second trial, which seemed to be heading their way.
"Bad Karma. I think Prince James is in trouble. We gotta get to the estate, fast!"
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" growled Jessie. "Now let's see. I can't beat him in a pokémon battle. No matter what I do, something stupid will always counteract it." She closed her eyes in deep concentration. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers.
"What are you going to do?" asked Brock. Jessie just shook her head and walked across the field. She got no less that one foot away from Ash. He seemed a little surprised by this, but held his ground.
"Ready to fight me again so soon?" he asked with a smirk. Jessie said nothing. She just stood there. After a minute, she smiled, a twisted, evil smile. She pulled back her arm and slugged the boy in the stomach. He fell to the ground, unconscious.
"I win!" said Jessie with a smile, turning to flash a victory sign at Brock. She took off at a run to the next meadow. The Pokéfairy walked slowly over to where Ash was laying on the ground.
"Now why didn't I ever think of that..."
"Oh dear God! NOOO!" screamed Brock, clawing at his eyes. "I can't help you, Jessie! It's too painful to look at!" He collapsed in a fetal position and sobbed. Jessie didn't say a word. Her eyes filled with tears and she clasped her hands together under her chin.
"They're so... so..." whispered Jessie, smiling brightly, "CUTE!!"
In the meadow was every form of cuteness ever made. Pikachus chased monokas. Cabbots frolicked with gubabas. Big-eyed funny animals danced jigs and made speeches on environmental awareness. Bubbles, flowers, and hearts floated everywhere. Pinks, pastel blues and greens, and sunny yellows were the predominate colors. Everything seemed to be singing cheerful songs. It really was enough to make any grown man cry. Jessie couldn't help but stare at the adorable scene. I could stay here forever... she thought dreamily. Suddenly she shook her head.
"Dammit! We gotta get out of here before I go SD, Fairy Boy!" Jessie picked up the still immobile Brock and charged across the field, kicking bunny rabbits and shoving ponies out of her way. Finally, they reached the trail beyond the meadow. Jessie collapsed in exhaustion, dropping Brock unceremoniously in a heap next to her on the ground. After catching her breath, she slapped him a couple of times.
"Ohhh," groaned Brock. "What happened?"
"You fell victim to the cuteness," explained Jessie. She reached into her bag, pulled out a brush, and began fixing her hair.
"I remember..." whispered Brock, shuddering. He looked at Jessie curiosly. "How did you manage to survive?" he asked.
"Simple," replied Jessie, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "I just remembered that I was cuter!"
Brock looked at her for a moment, then calmly stood up. Finding a suitable tree, he nodded once to himself, then started bashing his head into the trunk over and over again.
Jessie and Brock stood at the entrance to Prince James' parent's estate. It was really, really, big. Standing over eight stories it height, it dwarfed other mansions easily. Just looking at it felt expensive.
Brock looked up and pointed at a window. "That window is open. We can scale the side of the building and enter through there. Then we can - " Brock stopped when he realized Jessie was no where in sight. He turned around and saw her standing by the front door. She reached over and opened it.
"Let's just go in this way, okay?" she said sweetly. Brock grumbled something to himself about a lack of dramatics.
Jessie found herself speechless when she entered the estate. Within the main hall alone, she was fairly certain she could fit at least three of her houses. Every step she took was echoed back at her many times over. It was late afternoon outside, but in here, it was dark - much darker than she had expected. The place seemed strangely empty. Standing still in the center of the room, she held her breath, listening for any sound in the complete and utter silence.
"AHHHHH!!! GET IT AWAY! GETITAWAYGETITAWAY GETITAWAYGETITAWAY GETITAWAYGETITAWAY!"
The scream shattered the silence, quickly accompanied by the sound of someone running. A figure practically flew down the grand stairs at the end of the main hall and slammed ungracefully into Jessie. They went down in a tangle of arms and legs.
"Get offa me!" cried Jessie, pushing the decidedly male person away. She looked up to glare into the face of whoever would dare to attack her. Her breath caught in her throat and she began to chew her lip.
He was very beautiful, that much was certain. His blue hair hung gracefully around his face, a small strand falling right between his eyes. He was slightly flushed from his run down the stairs and his deep, rich green eyes met her own and held them. He panted slightly and continued to hold her in the same position as when they had fallen.
"Excuse me," he whispered softly. All Jessie could do was nod. Neither of them moved.
"Ohhh Princey!! Come back and let Jessiebelle cheer you up some more, honey!" Jessiebelle darted down the stairs, dressed in a tight ringmaster's outfit, a whip in hand. She skidded to a stop, anger flaring up in her eyes.
"How DARE you make time with my honey, you floozy!" yelled the woman. Jessie and James broke eye contact and straggled to their feet. Prince James ran around behind Jessie, grabbing her waist and using her as a shield of sorts. Jessie didn't notice. She was fuming at the other woman.
"Floozy! You DARE to call me a floozy!" She turned and looked over her shoulder. "Hey Fairy Boy! Who is the reject?" Brock motioned Jessie and Prince James into a huddle on the far side of the room.
"Okay, here's the deal," began Brock. "First of all, it's POKČfairy. Second of all, Jessie meet Prince James. Prince James, meet Jessie." They waved at each other. Brock nodded once. "Now, this is the next trial you'll have to face."
"What?" asked Jessie, angry. "You said I only had to go through three trials!"
"Maybe trial isn't the correct word..." reiterated Brock. "More like... Boss Level Monster."
"She definitely a monster..." muttered Prince James.
"Who is she?"
Brock looked over at Prince James who only shook his head. "It's my parents idea of a 'playmate.' They're crazy! She's crazy! She has this thing for leather!" He grabbed Jessie's arm. "Please! You have to save me! I'll do anything!" he begged.
"After what she called me, you don't have to ask twice," growled Jessie. She turned to look at Brock. "Okay, Fairy Boy, how do I defeat her?"
"I'm afraid I don't know. But I can give you some advice!" exclaimed Brock. Jessie put her hand to her forehead. This was getting ridiculous.
"Nothing is ever easy, is it?" she asked softly.
"Nope!" replied Brock cheerfully. His countenance suddenly became more serious. "This is what I can tell you. Ignore what you hear and accept what you see, but above all, do not believe." Brock paused a moment.
"How very cryptic," remarked Prince James.
"Great, just great," sighed Jessie.
"Hey!" yelled Jessiebelle, causing all three of them to look in her direction. "This isn't battle by committee! Come over here and fight me, you hussy!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" growled Jessie, taking a step towards her enemy.
"You heard me, you slut!"
"THAT'S IT!!" yelled Jessie. She screamed a battle cry and launched towards Jessiebelle.
Brock grabbed a stunned Prince James and dragged him into a corner on the far side of the room. As a loud *thwap* rang out across the room, both of them winced.
"That had to hurt..." stated Prince James. Brock only nodded.
"How did they get into that position?"
"I don't know. I didn't know a person's body was capable in bending that direction."
"Neither did I. I mean, how can - oh damn. That is definitely going to leave a mark."
"Ouch. She's gonna feel that in the morning."
Both Prince James and Brock swallowed hard. The battle was surprisingly short. A few minutes later, a slightly disheveled, but a triumphant looking, Jessie walked out of the dust towards them.
"Vic-to-ry!" she said with a smile, flashing a "V" with her fingers. Prince James let out a cheer, which Brock echoed a few seconds later.
"Thank you, Jessie!" cried Prince James, rushing over to give her a hug, which she gladly accepted and returned. The hug probably lasted longer than it needed to. In fact, it probably would have lasted longer than that, had the resident Pokéfairy Princess not cleared his throat a few moments later.
"Sorry to interrupt," said Brock, sheepish, "but I think we still need to get out of here. Prince James' parents could show up at any minute!" Reluctantly, they broke off the hold.
"Well, if we're going to do this, let's do it right," murmured Jessie softly.
"Do what right?" asked the Prince. He seemed about to ask more, but Jessie reached between his legs and threw him over her shoulder.
"A heroic rescue!" she exclaimed, charging out of the estate. Brock stood there and watched them go, an expression on his face something akin to a smile, while at the same time, similar to a look of hysteria.
"That was really weird, Jessie." replied Michael, sleepily.
"What do you want on spur of the moment?" asked the young woman with a smirk.
"Is this Brock guy really a fairy?"
Jessie smiled at the boy. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. Probably not. But maybe."
"And is Ash really that sadistic?"
"No, I guess not. Although, he is pretty stupid."
"What about the girl? Dusty... Whispy..."
"Misty?"
"Yeah."
"Let's just assume she was in the Field of Cuteness somewhere, along with that Togepi your Uncle Meowth is so fond of."
Michael chuckled softly and rolled over on his side. He scratched his Pikato behind its furry ears, then smoothed the feathers of the wings on its back. "So, what happened after they escaped from Prince James' parents estate?"
Jessie looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, Prince James became just plain old James, since he didn't have any money any more. The Pokéfairy Princess got a job at a daycare center in Pewter City, having become burned out after the last mission. Ash continued to run along the meadows, surviving only because of his good fortune. The Field of Cuteness is now used as a form of capital punishment for hentai offenders. Meowth remains in the forest with his ball of string where he can not annoy anyone. And Growly keeps the Evil Jessiebelle at bay so that she can never harm anyone again."
"Aaannnd...?"
"And what?"
"Come on..."
"Oh!" exclaimed Jessie with a wink. "Jessie and James became a world famous criminal team and lived very happily ever after together. Now," concluded Jessie, standing up and kissing Michael on the cheek, "go to sleep, or your brother will have my head."
"G'night Jessie."
"Goodnight Michael."
Jessie turned around to walk out the door. Standing in front of her, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, was James a smile on his face. Jessie started to push past him, but he put his arm around her waist. Together, they walked silently down the hospital halls, ducking into empty rooms every time they saw somebody. Sneaking out they way they came in, they walked away from the hospital, the cool wind blowing gently through the late night air.
"You know," said James after a minute, "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at that Brock kid in the same way again."
Jessie chuckled softly. "Me either. It seemed natural though." Jessie pulled out her keys and unlocked the Jeep. James sat in the passenger seat, while Jessie sat in the driver seat and fixed her mirrors.
"Of course, I do like that concept," replied James softly.
"What, Brock a fairy?"
"No," replied James with a laugh. "I meant, 'happily ever after.'"
Jessie leaned back against the seat and looked over at James, smiling. "Me, too."
After a minute, she started the engine and together, they drove out of sight.
THE END!!