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One day, a young woman of beautiful nature was implored by her mother to take a basket of goodies to her dear grandmother in the far side of the woods, for Grandma-ma was ill and could not leave her cottage to go buy diet cola. This beautiful young woman was called Little Red Riding Rocket, mainly because of her bright red hair and her fascination with gasoline propelled booster components. As for the 'little' and the 'riding' bit, the reasoning behind those terms was left up to the individual to decide.
"Beware, Little Red Riding Rocket," called her mother as the young woman skipped out the door. "A fierce wolf with a bad temper is known to loiter these woods."
"Gee, mother, thanks for warning me," she replied happily. "I will skip happily off to my doom in the attempt to do a good deed."
"That's nice, dear and don't talk to strangers," said her mother and Little Red Riding Rocket was soon on her way.
The day was very pleasant, so Little Red Riding Rocket could not help but stop and admire the beautiful scenery. The sun was shining through the thinning atmosphere and the air smelled of fresh wild flowers grown completely organically and environmentally safe."Why, hello there, little girl," came a smooth voice from the shadows. Little Red Riding Rocket turned and saw a handsome young man lounging in the shade of a tall, unprocessed oak tree.
"I'm not allowed to talk to strangers," she said firmly, turning away somewhat reluctantly from the handsome young man. He was quite handsome, after all. She started to walk down the path, but the man got in front of her, blocking her way.
"My name is James," he said smoothly. "I'm a drifter from a far away place who ran away from home because my parental unit was not very understanding in choosing my future mate when I was too young to stand against their oppression." He smiled and took Little Red Riding Rocket's hand. "Now, I am no longer a stranger. Who are you? Where are you going? A beautiful woman should not walk these woods unescorted. You don't know who may come by and harass you." Little Red Riding Rocket found her self blushing as the handsome, young man, James, continued to hold herhand.
"My name is Little Red Riding Rocket. AlthoughI don't think it is any of your business, I am on my way to my dear Grandma-ma's cottage on the far side of the woods. She has been feeling under the weather recently and I am bringing her some diet cola to cheer her up."
"Diet Cola?" exclaimed James. "That is full of chemicals and sugar - not the sort of thing I would give my sick grandmother." Little Red Riding Rocket only shrugged.
"She drinks what she likes," she said shortly. James nodded. "I am a bit worried, though," she said softly. She shielded her eyes against the warm mid-day sun. James nodded again.
"Yes, the sun can be very bad for you if you do not use proper SPF protection," he lamented.
"No, not that, although I do agree with you on that,"said Little Red Riding Rocket. "What I meant was I have heard rumors of a fierce, wild wolf with a bad temper loitering these woods."
"I know of no wolf," said James, "but there is a wild Meowth in these woods." James smiled reassuringly at Little Red Riding Rocket. "Although he is quite bad tempered, I do not think of him as fierce. Perhaps you'd like an escort?" he asked, hopeful.
Little Red Riding Rocket shook her head firmly. "Even though I know your name, you are still very much a stranger to me. I do not think it wise to travel with you after being aquatinted for such a short time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a basket to deliver." With that, the young woman with red hair stepped around the blue-haired, bishonen young man and continued on her way. Once she was out of sight, the young man snapped his fingers.
"Shucks," he said softly to himself. "That did not go nearly as well as I had hoped it would. Ah well. I must keep trying, for persistence is the key to happiness." Because his home was the woods itself, the young man knew many shortcuts and went straight to Little Red Riding Rocket's Grandma-ma's cottage. He knocked softly on the old woman's door. "Who is it?" called a sweet, elderly voice.
"My name is James. I am with the AARP. I have brought your social security check." After a few moments, James heard the shuffling of cloth and the running of slippered feet. The door opened seconds later, revealing the elderly woman looking quite healthy and full of life.
"It's about time!" she snapped. James handed her the envelope he had been carrying. The spry old woman grabbed her purse and rushed out the door. "Now I can go play some more Bingo," she said, laughing evilly. "I love the fact that the young are forced to support me through government programs with little future!" She was gone from sight before James could even blink.
"Now, how to greet Little Red Riding Rocket," said James out loud to himself, closing the door of the cottage behind him. He went over to Grandma-ma's closet and looked through her wardrobe. Finding a decent looking nightgown, he quickly slipped it on and snuck under the old woman's covers, pulling them up over his nose. Seconds later, a gentle knock came at the door. "Who is it?" said James, in his best sweet, elderly voice.
"It is I, Grandma-ma!" called Little Red Riding Rocket.
"Please, come in, child," said James. Little Red Riding Rocket entered the room, looking more radiant than before, if such a thing was possible in the harsh, artificial lighting of the room.
"Come closer, my dear," said the young man.
"I have brought you some goodies," she announced, carefully placing the basket on a nearby table. She walked close to the bed to get a better look at her grandmother, not yet realizing it was not she in the bed. "My Grandma-ma, what green eyes you have!" she exclaimed.
"The better to see your beautiful frame with," replied James, hard pressed to remember to keep his voice light and elderly.
"And Grandma-ma, what a nice voice you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Rocket.
"The better to say 'I Love You' with," replied James, swallowing hard to keep from spoiling his secret.
"And Grandma-ma!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Rocket. "What nice lips you have!"
"The better to kiss you with," replied James, throwing off the covers and revealing his true nature. He leaned over and kissed the young woman passionately, a kiss she gladly returned, although a little shyly. When they parted, minutes later, Little Red Riding Rocket was quite surprised.
"James!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"I have come to rescue you, Little Red Riding Rocket!" he cried, leaping out of the bed and taking her into his arms.
"Rescue me from what?" she asked, confusion evident on her face.
"From the terrible oppression being exerted upon you by your peer groups. Just because you are a female, does not mean you should be reduced to delivering goodies to your grandmother, nor does it mean you have to live with your mother. I, a sensitve male who has no qualms about dressing the manner of the opposite sex, wish only to see you happy." James held her tightly. "You seem so intelligent. Come with me," he said quietly. "Together, we can realize our full potentials and become talented self-supporting adults, bending to the whims of no societal quotas or standards."
"I do not know," said Little Red Riding Rocket, a little uneasily. "I have become so accustomed to my gender specific role, I would not know where to even start."
"I do have this pamphlet from a small group," saidJames, pulling out a small piece of paper. "Apparently, organized crime is a great way to be yourself and defy your parents."
"'Little Red Riding Rocket' isn't exactly a fearful name," said the young woman, a hint of sadness in her voice. "My parents have doomed me from birth. This... 'Team Rocket' will never except me."
"Nonsense!" exclaimed the young man. "We'll just change it." He thought to himself for a moment. "How about, 'Jessie?'" he suggested.
"That is not very fearful, either," the young woman pointed out.
"No, but it is quite beautiful. I think it would match you perfectly," said James, holding her tighter still.
"Jessie it is, then," said Jessie, throwing off her old name, her old life, and the shackles of male dominated oppression. Together, in an equal partnership, Jessie and James left the woods, her Grandma-ma, her mother, the cottage, and the whole silly scene behind, although the wild, bad tempered Meowth did seem to follow them occasionally.
And They Lived Happily Ever After. The End.