The Way I Feel

Part 2: The Things You Have to Do for Money

By: _Jessie_--jessie_mbx@hotmail.com

“Jessie, dear, I’m so glad you agreed to be my bridesmaid.” Jessiebell was wearing the most beautiful wedding dress. Jessie was sitting in her pretty white dress next to her. She looked 10 times prettier than the bride, but it wasn’t her happy day.

“I’m only doing this for James.”

“Oh, I know you are, dear. Don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of your James.” She smiled at Jessie, trying to cover her deep hate. She knew very well who really held James’ heart- Jessie, and not Jessiebell. Luckily for the two of them, a young girl went into the room and prevented a cat fight between them, announcing that the groom is ready and the wedding can begin.

Jessiebell hopped happily down the stairs (in a “proper” way, of course), and Jessie slowly and unwillingly followed her. It's gonna be a very long day, she thought to herself.

The beautiful garden was full with people Jessie didn’t know. It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun was shining and Jessie could feel the cool breeze. The trees looked taller than ever and she could see the blossoms of the new spring flowers. The house seemed alive and marry for the first time, but Jessie didn’t feel that way. She heard the Organ playing the wedding march, she knew it’s her cue, and started walking slowly. There she saw James standing next to the best men and the priest, nervous, with his dark blue tuxedo, his hair fixed properly. He looked so cute and handsome, and it made Jessie feel really awful. When James saw Jessie his eyes lit, and she could feel that he was just as disappointed as she was, that she didn’t take a few steps further and stand by his side as the bride.

Jessiebell, smiling happily, took her place next to James. Suddenly Jessie felt sorry for her. Here she was, with a beautiful dress, tons of make-up and hair-spray, in a day that supposed to be her happiest day, and she is getting married to a man that doesn’t love her, and marries her just for the money. Jessie couldn’t imagine degrading herself to this level, that she will have to marry someone who didn’t love her.

Jessie could hardly remember anything else after that. She couldn't listen to phony vows that the two exchanged , and when the priest asked if anyone has a reason why they shouldn’t be wed, she almost jumped forward and yelled: I have a reason! Because I love him! BECAUSE I LOVE HIM !!!

But instead she just stood there, trying to hide the tears in her eyes, but one tear slipped down her cheek when the time had come. Up until that point there was a chance, maybe it was all just a dream, maybe something will happen... but James took a big breath, looked over at Jessie and then back at his bride, and said: “I do.”

Jessie was sitting in a chair among the guests after the ceremony had ended, and felt really exhausted. She saw Jessiebell in the middle, laughing with the guests and bragging with her new husband. Jessie looked around her at all the high-society people and wondered how on earth will she get along with all of them. Sure, she wanted to be rich and have everything she wanted, but being rich wasn't the easiest thing in the world. Look at all that James has to sacrifice. His freedom, his spirit, and a chance for a true love. The things you have to do for money.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice she heard behind her back. “Hello, Jessie.”

She turned around quickly and saw James standing there and smiling a sad smile at her. “You look gorgeous”, He added, looking at her white dress and the new hairdo that made Jessie look really beautiful.

“Thank you”, she stood up, came closer to him and instinctively straightened his tie. This made her feel like his real wife. “You look very handsome yourself.”

He laughed, and then looked her deep into her eyes, “Thank you for being here with me.” He said softly, giving her cheek a little caress.

She smiled at him bitterly. “Oh, well, That’s what friends are for- standing for each other when they are sick or injured or in troubles... or getting married to a woman they don’t love.”

He gave her a bitter, sad smile back. She was right, of course, but things have already been done, and there was no way back.


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