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Next day......
After eating the inn completely out of food, the group got back on the road. "Just out of curiosity..." Lina said to Xelloss.
"Yes, what is it Lina-chan?" Xel replied, looking at her from where he was talking with Zel.
"Well, just where is this place we're going to? And how much farther is it?" Lina asked.
"Ah - " Xelloss began.
"NO 'sore wa himitsu desu'!" Lina interjected.
Xelloss nodded. "Very well. The 'place' isn't so much a 'place' as an 'un-place'. It is created twice a millenium for the family reunion, and it only exists then. As for when we'll get there...well we should get there within a few days, at this pace," he said, returning to his previous activity.
"GOOD," Lina said irritably. "I'm tired of walking." Lina stalked forward, eager to get the journey over with as quickly as possible. And, she might even have gotten her wish, had not, at that moment, a rather large group of bandits shown up.
"Give us all your money and valuables and we might let you live," said the leader.
"This is just what I needed," said Lina, cracking her knuckles. She was just about to indulge in some first-class 'stress relief', when Amelia, who in the intervening moments had climbed the tallest tree she could find, started in on one of her little justice speeches.
"Evildoers! No more shall you be allowed to prey on innocent travelers! I, Amelia the Champion of Justice, shall put an end to your evil ways! Now you shall feel the rightous fists of Justice!" Amelia jumped out of the tree-and landed flat on her face. The bandit leader laughed.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure kid. Haw!" The bandit leader (who like his gang, shall remain nameless) drew his sword. "Now give us all your stuff. C'mon kids, you don't stand a chance". Now during the bandits monolouge, instead of paying attention to him, Lina-tachi (I just now decided that putting '-tachi' at the end of a name was easier and less time consuming)had been discussing other, more important matters. Namely, food, and where they were going to get some.
" - So there's no restaurants out here?" Lina asked.
"Not since I was last through here, although things may have changed in the past two hundred fifteen years," said Xelloss. The group continued discussing food, the bandits apparently forgotten (of course, we know they weren't really forgotton, but the bandits don't know that, so we won't enlighten them). The bandit leader, thinking no one was paying attention to him, was starting to get quite mad.
"Hey you!" he yelled at them. "Pay attention to me when I'm threatening you!".
Lina looked over at him distractedly. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about them," she said. She stretched her arms. "Okay, one Fire Ball, coming right up," she said. She raised her hands above her head.
"Aww, does da widdle girlie t'ink she can use magic? How cuuute," said the bandit leader. The rest of his group snickered.
"WHAT did you call me?!" Lina demanded. "NOBODY calls Lina Inverse a 'little girlie' and gets away with it!".
"Uh-oh," said Gourry.
"'Uh-oh' is right," said Amelia. "We better take cover." The rest of the group nodded in agreement. They ducked down behind some rocks, about a hundred feet away (not that any distance is far enough, where Lina is concerned). Lina was beginning to glow red (can you guess which shade of red?). Her eyes sparked. The bandits, witnessing this new development, were petrified.
"Um...boss? Did you know we were attacking the notorious Bandit Killer?" asked one of the bandits. The boss shook his head mutely. Lina, meanwhile, was now glowing quite brightly.
"I was going to let you off with a couple of Fire Balls, and take all your treasure. But now, for that insult, you will die", she said.
"Never anger the daughter of a Dark Lord," quipped Xelloss. "Unless you can take the anger and survive." The rest of the group nodded in agreement.
Lina closed her eyes and bagan chanting. "Darkness from twilight, crimson from blood that flows,"
"Why am I not surprised," said Zel to no one in praticular.
Lina continued. "Buried in the flow of time...In thy great name I pledge myself to Darkness! Those who oppose us shall be destroyed by the power you and I possess!" Lina gathered the energy in her hands. Her group bunkered down, and put on their shades. The bandits began fleeing. Fleeing in vain, might I add. "DRAGU SLAVE!!" Lina blasted the uselessly fleeing bandits. A red light filled the area. There was a mushroom cloud. When the dust cleared, there was a crater. Typical result of the Dragu Slave. Lina grinned cheerfully. "Much better," she said. "C'mon, let's go," she waved to the others as she began walking again. And so, for the moment at least, peace was restored to the world.
"I'm hungry, lets stop and eat lunch now," said Lina.
"But Lina, you're always hungry," said Gourry.
"Yeah, well, look who's talking. And we're stopping." And that, as they say, was that. Lina obviously, wasn't going to be argued with. So, they stopped. At a very conviniently placed little cafe. Now, you may be wondering, 'why is there a cafe out in the middle of nowhere? And didn't Xelloss say there weren't any restaurants out here?'. Well, just this once, I'll tell you. See, it wasn't really a cafe. It was a clever little trap set by bandits to trap innocent travelers. Of course, the bandits didn't know who or what had wandered into their little enterprise, and Lina-tachi didn't know that the place was run by bandits. So, as you can probably surmise, utter Chaos was imminent. Yes, I said Chaos. With a capital 'C'. Now, let us get back to our dear friends, and see what happens. Lina hmm....paraded...yes that works...paraded into the cafe with friends, enemies, and annoyances in tow.
"Hey, you!" she called to one of the waiters/bandits, as she dragged her group over to a table. "Get us some menus!"
"O' course, Miss," said the waiter/bandit. Hehehe..., he thought. They may be a large group, but we still outnumber them five to one...and all those jewels... the bandit salivated at the thought. The group arranged themselves around the table, Gourry on Lina's right, Xelloss on Gourry's right, Zelgadis on Xel's right (of course), Filia on Zel's right, Valgarv on Filia's right, and Amelia on Val's right, which also put her next to Lina. Lina drummed her fingers, waiting. The waiter/bandit, pretending to be nervous at Lina's impatient glare (nope, he STILL hadn't figured it out), gave them menus. The group studied their menus, whilst their bandit hosts mentally rubbed their hands together with glee. A short while later, they had decided what they wanted. Everyone ordered their usual amounts of food (or lack there of). The waiter/bandits eyes bugged out. He nodded, and went into the kitchen, where his boss was waiting.
"Well?" said the Boss.
"There's seven of 'em!! An' three of 'em 'r girls!!"
The Boss's eyes lit up. "Girls?! Been a lon' time since we got any girls!" He rubbed his hands together. "Okay, are the men ready?" The flunkie nodded. "Good. Have them attack now."
The flunkie nodded again. "Yessir."
Meanwhile, Lina-tachi had guessed the purpose of this 'establishment'. "And they'll attack us...right about...." Lina was saying. The bandit gang (which, by the way was named 'The Cafe Crooks', for obvious reasons. Mm-hmm. I named this group) poured into their cafe, and surrounded the group. ".....Now," Lina finished.
"Give us all your money and possessions and we might let you live," was the original line the bandits gave.
"Yeah, yeah," Lina said. "We've heard it a million times before." The bandits blinked, as Lina-tachi got up from their seats. "Ahem," said Lina. "Shall I?" Lina aimed at the bandits. "FIRE BALL!!" It was now open season on bandits.
Lina was holding the Boss by his shirt. "Now, you people are going to cook us a HUGE lunch," she said. "Free of charge. Or else." She glared him in the eye. "Got it?"
The poor, terrified, Boss could only nod. "Y...yes'm. We will."
Lina dropped him. "Good. Now, MOVE ON IT!!" The Boss and his much diminished gang ran into the kitchen. "Ahh...good," said Lina, as she and her group sat down again. "They better not take long," she said. Everyone nodded. Fortunately for the bandits, they didn't take long. Shortly, a VERY large-and I mean large by Lina's standards-meal was delivered to them.
"I...I h.hope th..this i..i..is suff...sufficent, M..miss Inverse," the Boss stuttered (yes, they finally figured it out. After having it Fire Balled into them, that is).
Lina nodded. "Oh, yes, this will do, I suppose," Lina replied. "Now, shoo, so I can eat!" Lina then proceeded to dig in. As did Gourry. And Amelia. And....ah, well, you get the idea. Anyway, a very short time later, the group was on it's way again. "Ahh..." Lina sighed, contentedly.
The group walked on in silence for awhile (due to the fact that the author cannot think of anthing for them to say), when Gourry said, "Hey, Lina, when will we get there? I'm hungry again."
"Soon, I think," Lina replied. "I'm feeling kinda hungry too." She looked at the sky. "See? It's getting dark. We can't be far." They kept on walking, engaged in activities, which, although normal for them, would seem quite odd to any hmm....normal person.
After a while (okay, more like thirty seconds) Gourry spoke again. "Um, Lina? I'm hungry. When are we going to get there?"
Lina clenched her teeth and fists. "Gou...RRY!" Lina turned around to face Gourry. "You..." Lina jumped up and grabbed his shirt. "YOU JUST ASKED ME THAT THIRTY SECONDS AGO!! I DON'T KNOW WHEN WE'LL BE THERE!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU JELLYFISH!?" Lina continued on in this vein for quite some time, all the while shaking Gourry, and pounding his head occaisonally for emphasis. The rest of the group, of course, just waited patiently for Lina to finish. After a little while, Amelia got bored, and walked up the next rise in the road.
She peered over it. "Ano....Lina-san......" she said. Lina looked up from her Gourry-smashing.
"What?!" she snapped.
"I think we're there," said Amelia. Lina dropped Gourry, and ran up to where Amelia was. She too, looked.
"YAY!!" Lina exclaimed. "Alright! We're there! C'mon everybody, let's GO!" She waved a hand to them as she ran down the hill into the town.
Wow, this place is so BIG, how are we ever going to decide which inn, or tavern to stay in? thought Lina. She looked around. "Hmm...might as well go there," she said, and pointed to a tavern with a sign reading 'Raph's Crazy Tavern'. Seeing no reason not to go to that place (it was clean, and pretty decent looking, in spite of it's name), the rest of the group agreed.
"As long as we get our own room," said Xel and Zel.
Lina nodded. "Sure, sure, sure," she said. Xel and Zel smiled. Lina paraded in, while the others followed her in a slightly more normal fashion. As soon as they walked in, they saw a young man holding a table with one hand, above his head, looking for all the world as if he were about to eat it. This caused Lina to stop up short. "A...ano...." she said, pointing at the table.
The young man turned an eye towards them. "Oh, sorry, didn't see you come in." He ate the table. "I'm Raph, and this is my tavern. Can I help you?" There was a collctive face-fault, then Lina nodded, a bit shocked, sat down at a table, and turned to face him. The rest of the group followed.
"Um, yeah, sure. We'd like some dinner, please, and um..." she mentally tallied up her party. "Six rooms for the night."
Raph nodded, and smiled cheerfully. "Okay, sure. No problem!"
Gourry held up a hand. "How long will it take for dinner to be ready?" he asked. Raph grinned.
"No time at all!" he said.
"Huh?" was the collective response. Raph snapped his fingers and a large amount of food appeared on the table, complete with coffee for Zel.
"YAY!" said Lina, digging in with fervor. Gourry, seeing no reason, not to join her, dug in in much the same manner.
"Enjoy," said their host.
"Mrrmph," was Lina's eloquent reply. The rest of the group soon joined them, except for Xel and Zel, who as usual ate very little, and spent most of their time whispering at each other (what little time they did spend eating, was spent feeding each other little bits and pieces). And, of course, Val, who, after getting a saner portion of food, skulked off to the other side of the room, muttering about "frickin' pigs" (Lina, Gourry, et al.), and "bloody fruitcakes" (Xel and Zel). Within moments, all the food had been consumed.
"Mmm, that was good," said Lina. "Got any dessert?" Raph nodded, and snapped his fingers, causing a large amount of dessert to appear on the table.
"Alright!" Lina exclaimed, diving face-first into the sweets, followed closely by the rest of the bottomless pits. The saner (at least where food's concerned) members of the group gave the umm...chaos one look, and then took a few steps further away. The bottomless pits ignored them. Mere moments later, they had completely decimated the dessert. "Ahh..." Lina said. "Now THAT was good."
Gourry and Amelia nodded in appreciative agreement. Lina waved a hand. "Hey, umm, Raph, could you - " Raph produced another pile of dessert before she could finish her request.
Lina grinned. "Thanks!" (/^_^\) Lina Gourry and Amelia dug into the pile.
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot to tell you," said Raph.
"Rrmphrwhat?" said Lina, not stopping in her food intake.
"There's a bath house through that door, if you want to take a bath before bed, or something."
"Trrnksh."
"Bath house?" said Zel. "Great!" Zel grabbed Xel by the cape, and dragged him along towards the bath house. "C'mon, Xelloss, we're gonna go take a bath," he said.
"Sounds good to me," Xel replied, not minding being dragged at all (point of fact, he was enjoying it). Filia snorted, and rolled her eyes. Xel stuck his tongue out at Filia, before he and Zel vanished into the bath house.
"Remind me not to go in there tonight," said Val, getting up and glowered off to his room.
"Wrsh hish plerblerm?" asked Gourry, still stuffing the seemingly endless supply of food into his mouth.
"Wrtd dr yrm trnk hish plerblerm ish, jrlyfrsh frm brainsh?!" answered Lina, doing much the same thing as Gourry.
"I drnno, Lrna, tharsh whry I ashked mryo," said Gourry. Lina then proceeded to pound Gourry's head into the table.
"BAKA!" she yelled, in a rare moment of empty-mouthedness. She then returned to her eating, mumbling about Gourry's lack of intelligence in between mouthfulls. Gourry rubbed his head, and then returned to eating. After watching them for a few minutes, Filia shook her head, and went to her room. The bottomless pits continued eating on late into the night, before finally going to bed.
I'd like to thank my little brother on this one, Raph is his RP character, and the tavern is his. He also helped me get over my writers block so I could write the end of this part.